1. My first Holiday in nearly 20 years can't come soon enough

    Posted by Xolo at Sun Jul 22, 2012 11:56 pm

    First off, sorry but a key on my keyboard rhyming with 'B' doesn't work. So spelling mistakes are inetiable (see?) :x

    Anyway, I am a carer for my mum and hae been for the last 12 years. She has Cerebral Palsy, Bells Palsy (though mostly recovered), Insulin Dependent Diabetes, on Oxygen all the time, Sleep Apnoea, history or respiratory arrest, very deep sores on the lower part of her body, unable to walk, uses a Storm 3 electric wheelchair that we had to fight for, Diabetic Nephoprathy so will need Dialysis in the future.

    I hae been caring for my mum since I was 15, when my dad died suddenly.

    I'm now 27 and am about to go on my first holiday abroad to Spain, the Costa Del Sol. I plan on touring Malaga on a Segway and hae booked a trip to Gibraltar and a Dolphin Safari, I will see wild Dolphins and see the monkeys on Gibraltar aswell as some tax free shopping if I wish. I hae saved up for a few months not really doing anything since my best friend died and the collapse of my social life.

    My mum is really driving me up the wall though. Wheneer she drops something/crushes something/breaks something/needs something done it's always down to me. I don't hae much of a relationship with her as it always seems to be about her. I tried showing her the things I'm going to do but it's always "why can't I do that? Will they take disabled people?"

    She has never shown any pride of my achievements like a Mother should of her Son. I went to college and done so well that my tutor upon her retirement after 30 years teaching at Colleges and Universities said I was the highlight of her career. Mum's response "oh, does that mean you'e got a job?"

    I pass my driving theory tests 35/35 and 47/56 on the Hazard Perception. Mum's response "oh."

    I get my first job "oh."

    I get my first job at Barclays after College "oh"

    I lose my Job at Barclays "Oh"

    I get a Job at Bristol County Court "Oh"

    My best friend is found dead in his Flat by police "Oh, so I suppose you won't be seeing him anymore then"

    Since his death I hae become withdrawn, isolated and my self confidence has crashed through the pavement, probably hurtling through the Mantle.

    I hae depression, PTSD and an anxiety diroder, I'm on Sertraline now, 100mg but might go up.

    And my mum's carers? Awful. verbally abusive, sometimes don't show up, een the CQA hae major concerns.

    Sorry, long winded. But there ya go.

  2. Re: My first Holiday in nearly 20 years can't come soon enough

    Posted by jaye2080 at Mon Jul 23, 2012 3:50 pm

    Hi Xolo, I'm glad to see that you're off on your jollies, you go and enjoy yourself, relax in that beautiful country and have fun in the sun.

    It's sad that your mum isn't showing you any pride in your achievements, But I looked down your list of achievements and i thought WOW!!

    There's an old saying that goes "you can't please all of the people all of the time"
    I also add to that "there are some people you can never please any of the time"

    all the best

  3. Re: My first Holiday in nearly 20 years can't come soon enough

    Posted by swissmiss at Mon Jul 23, 2012 6:14 pm

    I hope you have a really fabulous time in Spain. Have you considered trying to find your Mum a really good supported living situation...may be something between a home and carers coming in. Somewhere where she might have her own flat but have carers in the building? Then you could have your own life and build a decent relationship with her based on sharing leisure time together??? I dont know what her care needs are but if you plan it it might work out really well. It is what I want to do for my son in the next few years so that he will have good care when I am no longer here.
    Meanwhile enjoy your break. Be careful on the segway though...its inventor was killed riding it I think? Fell over a cliff?
    Karen :)
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