1. nightmare on the main road

    Posted by jaye2080 at Tue Jul 10, 2012 7:57 pm

    I had to take my husband to the doctors today, and to get there we have to take a 20 minute walk along a main road (on the footpath I hasten to add) with a crossing about half way up. My husband, in his blind panic/impatience to get from A to B set off at fair speed leaving me desperately trying to keep up with him. I could hear him muttering 'keep going, keep going' all the way. It was when we got to the crossing he was still muttering to keep going and he walked straight into the road as if it wasn't there. Luckily no harm done...this time!
    My husband suffers from several conditions including epilepsy, he is registered sight impaired, although I do know that he has some sight. I also suspect that he is going deaf as he doesn't seem to hear me unless i'm facing him. But what I saw him do today was just as if he wasn't fully aware of his surroundings.
    At times like this i'm at my wits end with him, he won't tell the doctor what is wrong so I can't get any help for him. I can have a private word with the doc, and they do listen to me now, but when they bring it up with hubs he gives the same old answer 'he's fine, nothing wrong' so even the doctors can't really do much for him as he can't be forced against his will.

    I don't think he has any idea of the burden of responsibility he is forcing on me, although his faith in me to care for him and keep him safe is touching, I am not wonder woman and I don't have a magic wand. I'm so tired from the effort of having to be constantly aware of what he's doing and i feel like i'm banging my head against a brick wall with him. I don't get any help as he refuses to have anybody else involved, but right now i'm wondering how much longer i can keep this up.

  2. Re: nightmare on the main road

    Posted by Coogybear at Wed Jul 11, 2012 4:01 pm

    My thoughts go out to you. Especially when you say you are wondering how much longer you can keep this up.
    I don't know what it is, but their is something about the care of an adult that is uniquely different to that of a child, especially when it comes to caring for their personal safety.

    My husband has had a great deal of difficulty in the past, with regard to his awareness of danger for both himself and others. I'm not sure he even realized it at the time. Nor did he realize how immense the burden of responsibility was on the carer.
    Do you have a primary care worker; other than your GP, that you can talk to about the situation? Would a different face be easier for your husband to listen to? I know that when my husband was at his worst, I had to have a private word with the nurse practitioner. It felt very awkward for me, almost like I was talking about him behind his back, but when I reflected on it, i realized It was the right thing to do, because he was unable to perceive the situation he was in or make an informed decision at the time. He seemed to respond to someone other than the GP, a bit more positively. Perhaps they could be of help?
    I hope things pick up for you. Coogy. xx

  3. Re: nightmare on the main road

    Posted by jaye2080 at Wed Jul 11, 2012 7:22 pm

    hi coogybear, thankyou for replying.

    I have already spoken to the doctors and nurses and they've all tried to persuade my husband to have some help, even a couple of social workers have tried, but he is adamant that no one else will be involved.

    Thankfully the doctors will listen to me now, although that has only come about because his initial medical care was very badly mismanaged. It was only by going behind my husbands back that i got that sorted, at the time it was a case of getting something done or one of us end up sleeping on a park bench!

    I haven't quite got to that state again, but i have come to the conclusion that maybe it's time i let my husband suffer the consequences of his own actions. Since he says he doesn't need a carer then it's time for me to step back a bit and we'll all see how he gets on.

  4. Re: nightmare on the main road

    Posted by Coogybear at Sun Jul 15, 2012 2:06 pm

    I hope it all goes well for you Jaye. Mxx :)
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