1. Rejected by hubbies family!

    Posted by suejane at Sun Apr 22, 2012 8:22 am

    My son Cian aged 20 came to live with me and my hubbie of 12 years after several years with his dad. My hubbies " county" family didnt want to know and regarded him as a drain on hubbies finances etc but only 2 of them ever met him.There is abig wedding coming up and Cian is not invited. My hubbie wishes to go with his sister-to whom he is very close although she is married and lived abroad for many years- and his cousins etc.He tells me that i should stay behind to lookafter Cian, because he wont be welcome, actually neither was i!They saw me as agold digging divorcee but again only 2 of them ever spoke to me and no one has bothered to get to know us. Fortunatley Cian doesnt realise how they are. I also have other children i can never get to see. My hubbie is fuming at his percieved loss of freedom wanting to go where and when but seeing Cian as "that boy".
    I m taking Cian to football tournement today, he plays for his country at football and cricket learning disability, he is afabulous goalkeeper.Im just asking for abit of support thats all. Hubbie married for the first time aged 55,me, and i think his family felt i wasnt good enough for him.
    Hugs and best wishes today to everyone. Keep well and safe xx :(

  2. Re: Rejected by hubbies family!

    Posted by avidreader at Sun Apr 22, 2012 1:38 pm

    hi jane,
    first of all dont let anyone tell you are not good enough, if anything his family are not good enough for you not the other way round,you are a warm and caring person and anyone who thinks otherwise obviously hasnt taken the time to get to know you as a person.you and cain should take the opportunity to do something together the day of the wedding, would you really want to be there knowing what they are like?the fact they think you are a gold digger actually reveals what they are, they probably didnt think he would get married and then obviously anything he had would be theirs and now that not the case.
    dont let them drag you down to their level xxx
    from tracy

  3. Re: Rejected by hubbies family!

    Posted by suejane at Sun Apr 22, 2012 7:46 pm

    Hi Tracy how are you? Im really sad about it, thinking Cian and i survived an awful lot and hes doing so well now. Iv completely lost the plot. The last thing i am is a goldigger, but if i die before my hubbie all his wealth goes to his sister, nothing for son.So perhaps they are all praying i do die before him!But Cian and i have many friends in his sports group and new girlfriend so i guess we keep with them i have no family of my own.Still it hurts when hubbie calls Cian his stepson yet son is not welcome in his family! Hubbie says "you can tell hes not right", straight out of the last century!Hes a gorgeous looking lad , very tall very well mannered-whats not to like! Have aggod night and no i wont dwell on it, im just angry more than anything and sad if thats possible! xxx

  4. Re: Rejected by hubbies family!

    Posted by swissmiss at Sun Apr 22, 2012 11:15 pm

    Depends what you call "not right" Jane..."not right in the soul" people who cannot accept difference! Problem is that those people are plentiful which I guess makes us very special souls? xx :)

  5. Re: Rejected by hubbies family!

    Posted by carolm_12582 at Mon Apr 23, 2012 8:45 am

    Just rejoice in the fact that nobody's putting you under pressure to spend time with his dreadful family! That would be really bad. I've just discovered that actually nothing terrible happens if I don't go to Andy's family dos - for ages I'd been feeling like the chauffeur and general misfit. Now his daughter collects him and he gets a cab back and I get an evening watching my choice of telly!
    Cian sounds lovely - I'm rubbish at any kind of sport so really admire people with a talent who manage to do something with it.

  6. Re: Rejected by hubbies family!

    Posted by suejane at Mon Apr 23, 2012 2:00 pm

    Thankyou for your supportive reples! To tell you the truth i couldnt care less about them anymore. I feel since they cant be bothered to speak to him or see him then i wont bother with them and yes Cian and i will spend time together whilst hubbie goes away for the night to the wedding. At least son isnt hurt because he doesnt know them and probably never will if hes lucky. Thanks again i feel human again!Oh and the sun is coming out-a sign perhaps of more positve things to come today!Oh no, its gone back in again! Hugs xxx keep well xxx :)

  7. Re: Rejected by hubbies family!

    Posted by gaygal14 at Mon Apr 23, 2012 3:19 pm

    Hi Jane,, sorry but I have just got around to reading your post, what uncaring people, to not let you or Cian go to this wedding, and as for saying you are a gold digger, this you certainly are not, you just happen to be a caring Mum, take no notice of them, I dont know how people can be like that, you take care xx

  8. Re: Rejected by hubbies family!

    Posted by suejane at Mon Apr 23, 2012 4:15 pm

    I think if they hadnt been so judgemental they would see im just an ordinary mum, they didnt like this, but someone who happens to have a son with disabilities who need care and is so rewarding.I had a lot in common with hubbie of course and no doubt they see me providing free care for him when he needs it, so im not all bad! xxxHave a good monday evening everyone xxx

  9. Re: Rejected by hubbies family!

    Posted by lynba2 at Tue Apr 24, 2012 1:26 pm

    hi hun just read your message if i was in your shoes id just ignore the lot of them there is a word for people like them snobs they must think they are better than anyone else not so and have you ever asked yourself why your husband married you obviously he must have saw something about you that he liked you hold your head up girl you and cian are far better people than they will ever be im glad you havent got my temper lol i would have done something the first time he spoke about my son as that boy who does he think he is i would have told him in no uncertain terms thats my son you are talking about and he knew when he married you what cian was like so why stick by his measly family he should be defending you not going with his family against you obviously he has no guts to stand up to his family sorry love i would have been out of there years ago i dont know how you put up with it i made my break when id had enough years of violent abuse off my ex husband but ive come out the other side ok and so would you xxxxx

  10. Re: Rejected by hubbies family!

    Posted by suejane at Tue Apr 24, 2012 1:59 pm

    Hubbie wont stand up for me thats why im so upset yes and angry now. He just wants peace and to be with his family so we are pretty much left out. Hubbie cant deal with this. I just say stick up for me but he never does he just wants a peaceful life, he doesnt want to fall out with them over me. Thanks for your support very much xxx
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