My particular problem is that my partner had an acute psychosis about 6 months back, she
thought I was bugging and drugging her (and worse which I won't go into...), and although things aren't quite so bad 6 months on, they are still pretty bad. I actually think there were signs over the last few years as there has been a steady deterioration in her respect and trust for me - with several key events. There are also other uncanny events but I don't want to go into them.
She was detained for a few weeks. It was truly awful the events leading up to it, and in the end on that final day I had to call the police. A terrible seen of restraint took place witnessed by my teenage son. She has never forgiven me for what she saw as a deliberately manipulated situation resulting in police action. I did it solely because (and I needed advice from others to realise and accept it), I knew treatment was needed sooner rather than later. BY that time, she had moved out to go and stay at a hotel taking all her valuables and papers.
WHen she came out, she wanted to me to move out. I said I'd give her space for a 2-3 weeks (and then I moved back. She has regained a lot of functionality (on relatively low dose drug), has restarted her part-time work, does many daily duties, has had a holiday away, goes out to see friends etc. This bit is great. At times though she is clearly unhappy (I'd say depressed) and I have no idea how see feels - she does feel as if things will never get better and that her life is over as she knows it. I've bent over double in helping out with daily duties, saying I'm more than happy to do most of the them, and she should not feel bad about not being able to her usual share as much. Her job is to do what she needs to get better, I want her to know I'm there for her. BUT, I still feel I'm viewed as a criminal who is to never to be trusted. If anything my being nice is perhaps seen as the act of someone who knows he has been guilty and is trying to worm his way back into her good books. It is awful. Occasionally we have gone out for a few hours, walks etc. and had a good time (by her own admission). I'm always offering her such things, but most of the time she gives me a flat NO and keeps to her friends.
She has (since detention) denied me any disclosure about herself, but has allowed me since one visit with her and a senior therapist. I'm about to see this therapist with my partner for a second time very soon, but don't know what to say or ask for (I want the consultation to be as useful as possible in giving me a chance for my wife to recognise I can help her and want to help her). I know that there is no point (yet) in trying to bring up the events that have happened - she doesn't want it (stated clearly), and from what I understand, she won't appreciate.
In the earlier days of this, I had quite a bit of advice from friends/relation who r in the mental health profession, so I was lucky. I learned not to confront her with her delusions, but just say that I know she feels this but I don't go along with any of it.
I know all about local carers organisations (had to find them all myself - no one in the health professionals offered me anything - I don't know why they don't hand out leaflets with addresses to immediate relatives who are there at the time of sectioning - it would help a lot in that trauma of the occasion of detention - this I think is a big failing in the MH services that could easily be fixed), and go to the odd meetings with one in my locality. Most people there seem to be family of people with schizophrenia (usually long-term and shich started in the 20s to 30s) - my situation does feel v different from that
I've found a dearth of advice on how to handle the specific day-to-day problems (in my case communicating with someone who distrusts me). I'm a reasonably intelligent with some knowledge of such things (interest and work), and I know how to ask for things, but it's been so difficult finding help, and boy is this a new ball game. It's very distressing and very lonely.
Anyway, what I'd like to learn more about is practical ways of best communicating with someone with a psychosis. No-one in the therapy end of things has given me any advice. I argued with the various professionals that confidentiality did not mean that they could not give me this sort of general advice (I understood and accepted the restrictions of confidentiality but quoted sections from the confidentiality literature that said that even when confidentiality is requested there are still things they can communicate - like the `how to respond to someone who has bizarre beliefs or delusions....'). I put in a complaint about this, and it was accepted, but it's made little practical differences.
That's where I am now.
I'll follow the group as soon as I get time, but if there is anyone out there with `acute later age psychotic partner where they (the carer) is the centre of all evil' do let me know.