1. Problems with the student

    Posted by CrystalBlueWolf at Thu May 24, 2012 12:25 pm

    Now as some of you may know for the past month or so we've had a social services student visiting us with our support worker. Things we're ok to begin with but recently she's gotten more and more offensive towards us and it's gotten to the point where i've had to ask support worker to not bring her any more. Now hubby's family is Jewish so we sometimes talk about religion and things because both me and support worker and hubby are interested in learning about different religions. We like to hear stories and watch documentaries etc.

    Well recently she's just been really awkward, and when we had a conversation about stuff all she would say is 'i don't believe in that' or 'my religion doesn't believe in that' because she's Muslim. It even got so far as her saying she 'hates all Hindu's'. I mean i understand that people don't have the same beliefs but it's getting so annoying now. Yesterday we drove past a Reiki place and we were talking about what it was and next to me she pipes up and says 'oh i don't believe in that' i was so tempted to turn around to her and say 'well there isn't much outside your religion you do believe in is there?' but i held my tongue.

    But it's not just the fact that she's like this, we like to sometimes just sit and talk with support worker about stuff generally and this girl spends the whole time on her phone playing fruit ninja! It's like you can't be a social worker if you can't talk to people, otherwise your just like every other useless social worker! Not just that but she seems to be scared of every single animal! She's scared of dogs (ok can understand that), she's scared of cats (fair enough they can be quite temperamental), she's scared of fish.....yeah....ok that one i can't really justify. She said she likes baby animals but doesn't like them when they grow up :S that to me just sounds so stupid its unreal. I guess i have never really been around someone that is SO closed minded before.

    It's really hard because she wants to become a lawyer after she's done her social work course but if she's this closed minded about other religions how is she going to be able to do that? How is she properly going to be able to represent someone if she hates them so much?

    I don't know i feel so bad saying she can't come here any more but she just upsets husband all the time and makes things so awkward that she's been given the name 'conversation killer' now. We've never had this problem with student before, so quite shocked really.

    What would you do in this situation?

  2. Re: Problems with the student

    Posted by avidreader at Sat May 26, 2012 11:59 am

    hi crystal,
    wow what a situation to be in,i guess you just have to say she makes you feel uncomfortable in your own home etc and you rather she didnt come with your support worker anymore.i have had similar experience in the past when i was carer for my ex,in the beginning we had carers come into the home 1 or 2 were very good and we told agency they were but others just used the time to sit in garden having a ciggarette reading magazines and talking about the clients they had seen before coming to us,that made me feel uncomfortable cos they could then talk about us to others and i just told agency i didnt want them anymore.in the end i got rid of all carers when the good ones were moved to other cases.that is why i struggled alone with no support for 9 years until i had some sort of breakdown last summer when i joined this site.dont let the experience of her put you off having others who wish to learn come to you but i would definately say something because you should feel relaxed in your own home situation without an outsider coming in and adding to the stress you already under.
    from tracy

  3. Re: Problems with the student

    Posted by CrystalBlueWolf at Sat May 26, 2012 12:23 pm

    Hi Tracy,

    Yeah support worker is being really good about it and has stopped her coming. We've had this problem before but instead of a student it was an actual support worker who was doing it. Don't get me wrong he was a lovely guy just very stupid. He was telling other clients about our case file and he even took us to his home!! which is completely stupid. I mean luckily we're not the type of person to go there and do something horrible but others are. It finally got back to us because one of the people he told was a support worker who told his client about our personal information (i think it was about us struggling to try for kids) and the person he told was a friend of my husbands dad. So when hubbys friend went over on the weekend to see him he told him and he told us. We then told the management what had happened and it got sorted pretty quickly. So yeah i know how you feel in that respect.

    She was a nice enough girl just so closed minded and doesn't think before she speaks. She either didn't know what she was talking about or making generalisations about whole religions. So for example all Christians try and convert you, all Catholics believe in no contraception etc. It just got on my nerves it would be like me saying all Muslims are terrorists to her because she's Muslim. It's not true, it hurts and it's horrible. Just really made me angry, i wouldn't mind if she was trying to broaden her views but the whole time she just spent it either playing fruit ninja on her phone or going 'i don't believe in that' just so frustrating! :cry:

  4. Re: Problems with the student

    Posted by swissmiss at Sat May 26, 2012 1:40 pm

    I think the problems come when you let the personal issues in. It is unrealistic to expect there not to be differences and conflicts especially when the subject is religion..the world's great divider!! As for confidentiality that is shocking that they talk about you to others. I think the answer is not to get too friendly with your SW or carers..hard but it is like employing staff and those who do that for non disability reasons know to keep the boundaries in place.
    As for useless SWs...well there are plenty. I think you did exactly the right thing in telling your SW not to bring her any more.
    Karen :-)

  5. Re: Problems with the student

    Posted by CrystalBlueWolf at Sat May 26, 2012 7:23 pm

    Normally our support worker is fine, it's just for the last 5 weeks things have been awkward because of this social worker student
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