Anyone got any tips on how to pull yourself out of depression

Replies

By Shldvds

Re: Anyone got any tips on how to pull yourself out of depression
Fri 18 Jul 2008 20:49

Hi Tricia, First of all know that you are not alone in feeling like this. Unfortunately there is no magic wand that you, or anyone, can wave to get rid of these feelings.
I would urge you to speak to your Gp about this before it goes any further. You may not like the thought of taking anti depressants, and they aren't a magic cure either, but they can help given time. I have been in hospital twice recently due to depression and suicide attempts but don't, please, assume that the same will happen to you. The quicker you seek help then, hopefully, the quicker you will begin to improve.
If we have too many stresses in a short period of time our body has to give somewhere and we need to learn to listen to what our bodies are telling us and seek the appropriate help before we explode.
You probably already know all this but it sometimes helps if someone can confirm what you already know.
There is a web site, can't remember the address but it's moodjuice and it gives you usefull info about depression as well as self help exercises. You can do as little or as much as you choose, and at your own pace.
One thing that I have found that does help is having certain people (whom you can trust) that you can contact when you are feeling low, keep their numbers etc. handy. I've also found it useful to write things down as/when they happen e.g. feelings etc. and my reaction to certain situations. Have worked out many things like that.
I'm not saying the same will work for you because we are all different and need to work out our own coping strategies. I am currently attending hospital on a daily basis and one thing suggested was that we work out a relapse prevention plan e.g. identify what triggers the low feelings, then how we can deal with them (speak to friends, doctor etc) and have a list of relevant phone numbers of contacts on it, keep it in a prominent place so that it's handy for yourself or for anyone else who may be concerned.
Wish I could help you more. Don't try to rush things or expect an overnight cure because that won't happen. but you can get better.
Good luck.
Sheila.

By kerry.

Re: Anyone got any tips on how to pull yourself out of depression
Fri 18 Jul 2008 22:15

Hiya tricia,
firstly 25% of the population suffer with some form of mental illness at any one time. This ranges from mild depression which is sounds like you've got, to severe problems like schitzophrenia- which you havent!

It sounds like a reactive depression to me, not that Im an expert, but I am the same; I deal with problems at the time and afterwards sometimes have a complete slump.
For example, recently in the space of 3 weeks, My cat went missing, (never came back- obviously dead) my daughter went off to greece for 4 months with no money, travel ins etc, my mother in law was being tested for cancer, and my marriage was breaking up, plus I was doing my exams at university!!!
dealt with it all reasonably well, but the other day was forced to admit to my GP that I felt like sh*t!
Her reaction was 'are you surprised?'

Anyway not being one for drugs, I have opted for St Johns Wort. Theyre not a miracle cure but taken over time, they take the edge off and are natural.

I find taking back control usually helps.
For example, I couldnt do anything about the cat or the mother in law, but I could sort out travel ins etc for daughter, and could revise as much as poss (with very limited time) for exams, and could go to relate with partner.

(like that old saying about having the power to change things that you can, and the wisdom to know the difference etc)

Do not be ashamed or embarrassed- we are only human and can only do so much. Took me a long time to realise this.

Transition for your son is a huge step for both of you. Not to be taken lightly, and this may be playing a part.
Perhaps make you feel a bit out on a limb or out of sync?

Might be an idea to talk to someone close, maybe social worker, so at least theyre aware of how youre feeling.

Things will level out again tricia, just give yourself a break and dont expect too much of yourself. Let others be there for you for a change!

God bless ya darlin.

By loopy

Re: Anyone got any tips on how to pull yourself out of depression
Fri 18 Jul 2008 22:17

your not alone in this you know. I went through exactly the same stuff last year. I really hit rock bottom and got it into my head that charlotte was going to die before me. That sounds sooooo bad i know, but i could not get that thought out of my head. I knew that it was totally irrational and stupid. I went to the docs and he put me back on the happy pills. I know that they are not the cure but they suit me down to the ground. I could not stop crying and funnily enough it wasnt financial pressure either although god knows we suffer in that department. I couldnt of give a stuff about money at that particular time. I just felt that everything had piled up on top of me and i couldnt see a way out. I feel fine now and i have stopped thinking those irrational thoughts. The docs said that those thoughts were all to do with stress. I told him that i had never ever thought those thoughts before and i felt stupid for thinking them but could not stop myself. I found it really useful to write my thoughts down and read them back at a later date.. I was clearing out a drawer the other day and i found what i had written. I was amazed at what i had put and how much better i feel now. All the things that i worried myself to death over havent happened anyway!!!

By EL

Re: Anyone got any tips on how to pull yourself out of depression
Fri 18 Jul 2008 23:13

Sorry but if im feeling down (which is often) i go for a long, long soak in the bath (while the boys play the wii) and bawl my bloodt eyes out that hour of pure self indulgent woe is me self pity does me the world of good, it gets all the shyte out of my system and i feel ready to bounce back like i always do like Loopy said at times its just everything getting on top of you and gets you bogged down, i know i wont feel like that for too long but boy does it feel bad when its bad i have been on here typing as if im in a happy go lucky mood when i could be splashing tears on the key board, bot its ok cause no one can see me to judge or point or stare i also write stuff down you would be amazed how good it feels writing it out then reading it back over a cuppa then putting a lighter to it

By fenlander

Re: Anyone got any tips on how to pull yourself out of depression
Fri 18 Jul 2008 23:42

I got really bad when my sons were going through transition stages - it seemed to hilite the difference between their life options and those who don't have a disability. I started to feel guilty again - thought I had got over that years ago!
I went to my G.P. she referred me for counselling - after 6 weeks wait the counsellor was useless so I took St.John's Wort for a while. It seems to work well for mild depression but my husband was severely clinically depressed last year and it not only had no effect but he got worse. He then went onto Prozac but because he had delayed taking it and got so bad by then he attempted suicide before it could help. My advice would be to talk to your G.P. first.
I am tired and lacking energy most of the time and have to make the most of the odd days when I feel stronger to get things done. When I manage to sort out some problems or chores I usually get a lift from that. Sometimes I find something I know I can manage to do in order to give me a sense of achievement - it's the repetitive strain of caring that gets me down.
I also try to take a nap during the day - even 20 minutes seems to help!
Have you applied for the carers grant - a one off payment of £200 which is a welcome boost to the coffers!?
Hope that helps
Take care

By Tricia

Re: Anyone got any tips on how to pull yourself out of depression
Sat 19 Jul 2008 05:30

Thank you for reading what I have said and taken the time to respond.

I shall try out the st johns wort to see if that helps. I also have sleep apnoea and it was not until later that day I realised that I have not been using the machine as much as I normally would do through the night. (depression is a side effect when sleep apnoea is not treated) so I am going to have to make sure I keep that face mask on through the night.

My son has a service review coming up soon and I think it's about time that i opened up to his social worker. She has been really good because she is the one who keeps telling me that yes I do need the breaks and any extra help that is out there and you don't get many social workers like that out there.

I had to smile about the long soak in the bath as yesterday was my son's last day at his school and yes that is exactly what I had planed to do. The first day he started that school was day I will never forget. Why? Because it was the first time since the children were born that I was able to go and have a bath without someone banging on the door and shoutting, "Mammy". I just never got around to it.

As I read your messages I could see myself in them too. Feelng too worn out to do the house work and when I do get around to doing it I do feel a lot better. I do have a large house and often refer to the Syndey Harbour bridge feeling that once I have got it cleaned out it feels like I have to start all over again. That is why it never gets done. Same goes for the garden.

Our Carer's centre does not have any carers grants available at the moment. But I shall look into other sources of funding which I may be entitled to which could help to keep the car on the road. That is what is another stress at the moment is that it is due it's MOT this next week and I do know it will need work done on it and if it costs too much it is going to have to go. My son is on lower rate mobility because he is unable to go out on his own. Looking at the car is it more for my benefit so I am not as stressed out in knowing that he has his routine in going out in the car rather than using public transport. He finds it very difficult to get out without his portable DVD player (that has been a godsend at times or I would never of been able to get him out). If we need to go out on public transport there always seems to have to be something in it for him (He is autisitic with learning disabilities). Saying all of that I feel that I am making up excuses for me more than for him.

My son's transition was going smoothly so I thought as I had got out and found out what was available for his needs for when he leaves school. I even managed to get his placement sorted out last September which not many people are so lucky to have done. But, yes another But I have asked along the way of his transition what about my transition and it always seems to fall on deaf ears. I now understand why so many carers feel low when the person they are caring for is going through transition and the carer gets so low and are usually the ones who everyone thinks are strong and everything seems to look alright on the outside.

I hope I would like to say that I am catching this before I get any worse and be able to start and get the ball rolling in taking action to improve my life. I don't think I have ever said those words before, "improve my life" like many carers we don't take time out to think about ourselves. We are usually too busy thinking about the consequences of our actions so don't even bother going there!

My daughter came up with the idea of a blogg the other week and it may not be a bad idea after all. I have started to realise that I have had a lot of negative things in my life but I always have tried to look on the positive side to help my cope with them at the time but as mentioned above I do feel I have gone into auto drive mode to cope at the time then a while after wards when everything has settled down. I begin to settle down to and run down as well.

Thanks everyone it has made me sit up and realise that I need to do something about it and not just bottle it up!

By morello

Re: Anyone got any tips on how to pull yourself out of depression
Sat 19 Jul 2008 10:25

Depression is so common amongst us carers, and because we spend so much time looking after others, many of us fail to notice it until it has hit us badly. I get it and at times feel like ending it all. Of course I dont but my heart goes out to those that do. The sad fact is that the people that should be there to keep an eye on us coping etc and our well being, like the SS etc fail to notice, basicallly because they dont care. I get it when I start thinking I have no life, just exist, and the worst bit is the only way my caring will ever end is when I am dead. Sad fact but true. The worry of everyday finances makes it worse. We see all these unions and their members striking for more pay, gas bills rising, oil prices causing everything. Then you realise we arent going to get a pay rise, we get sweet FA anyway.
We probably have the hardest job of all, no end of day, no weekends, no holidays or breaks. Respite care if it can be found that the rspca would close down as unfit. Your SS does a care plan and pardon me but one can only imagine where they then stick them, because half the carers in these places are eastern european and work for low wages (which is why they employ them) and they cant understand a care plan. So you get a few days break once a year to have your whole routine blown up in smoke and a different unhappy person sent back to you, just for you to start all over again.
IS IT ANY WONDER WE GET DEPRESSION. Medication does help sometimes, but remember it does take a while to kick in and by then we are so strong because we have to be , that we are sorting our own selves out. Thats if you dont get the side effects from these "WONDER" drugs because the new ones can cause more problems than they solve, so dont forget to ask and also read the side effects on them, and if you start feeling panicky and dont usually , or aggressive or more moody stop them. Even worse they can make you feel suicidal if they dont suit you. Hey Tricia I bet you feel a whole lot better now dont you ?
Its the crying for nothing I hate I always get that,and you get told not to self pity, well sorry for being human and if anyone can feel like that then we should be allowed to.
I hope you are feeling better and remember if you can be a carer you can cope with this, it does pass and doesnt last forever thats what I tell myself and it usually works, eventually.
Mo

By EL

Re: Anyone got any tips on how to pull yourself out of depression
Sat 19 Jul 2008 11:12

St Jhons wort is good my sister swears by it, also get some lavendar oil and put about 10/12 drops in your bath to help relax your muscles, you dont need your neck siezing giving you head aches as well hope you are feeling a bit better today darlin i got up feeling low but i heard about this Big Fun Run in Milton Keynes in October, i just completed the 5kmh (treadmill) in 53:27 and ran for 24:46:69 im 46 over weight and smoke and i have just ran and the best thing is i feel in a much better frame of mind now

By graham

Re: Anyone got any tips on how to pull yourself out of depression
Sat 19 Jul 2008 12:01

A good question Tricia & one that many carers face. I certainly agree with EL about St John's Wort. Also a glass or two of wine in the evening might help. Lastly stop reading carers boards for a couple of days. Some of the more radical ones would drive anyone into the depths of despair....

By morello

Re: Anyone got any tips on how to pull yourself out of depression
Sat 19 Jul 2008 12:31

St John's Wort is supposed to be good but do not take it if you have high blood pressure as it can make it higher. Just in case, goodness knows you dont need any other problems. The wine sounds good, but alcohol can be a depressant too and if I had one glass I would finish the bottle LOL well you would forget the depression I suppose,but hey who needs the hang over. Plus the cost ,I bet that is expensive now too isnt it?
Still whatever your poison enjoy we have little enough pleasures if any.
Mo