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bloody doctors !!
- By loopy
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Fri 4 Jul 2008 10:28
i have just had a call from my daughters doc. It was about the fact that i had cancelled her child psycologist appoiontment. I told doc that i had her behaviour under control and that her weight was the main issue. He made me feel like a liar and has really upset me. He said "well, we must be getting mixed messages here because i am being told that she is winding other children up at school" she wouldnt hurt a flea!!! The school have not told me that she is misbehaving and being naughty. I have phoned them but her teacher is on sick leave at the moment. I know my daughter and she wouldnt know how to bully or wind someone up. I am so angry!!!!
Then he said, "i dont think her weight gain is due to her medication". He also said, "well she is getting her extra calories from somewhere isnt she??" Basically, your feeding her rubbish is what he was saying. Yes she does have biscuits, crisps but i monitor what she has and she always has a healthy cooked tea at home. I used to send her sandwiches until the school nurse told me that she saw her drinking coke and eating crisps and that was all she had for her dinner. I told her that was rubbish because she doesnt even like coke ( i should know, i am her bloody mother). I was told that it would be better for her to be school dinners. I said "well that means that she would be having 2 dinners a day, one at school and one at home". I am really annoyed, she can hardly string 2 words together let alone wind other people up!!!!!
Replies
- By Tricia
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Re: bloody doctors !!
Fri 4 Jul 2008 20:29Hello loopy
I went to my son's appointment to see the psychologist and my daughter came with me.
My daughter was seething when we left the room as the dr had ain't a clue in what we had requested to see him about. And he had been informed about it and I told him before my son came in the room to see him and he still was hopeless
So Loopy stick to your guns and you get them told us parent/carers know our children inside out and if we don't speak up for them well who will!
- By fenlander
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Re: bloody doctors !!
Sat 5 Jul 2008 00:57Don't let them control your life or screw you up.
WE have 2 Autistic sons -now 16 & 20- and stopped seeing docs and psychologists about 8 years ago. The docs were not focussed or knowledgeable about our boys and said some very inappropriate things in front of them. Psychologists think they know everything - try asking them[nicely] whether their own lives are perfect since they seem to think they have all the answers! It usually flattens them. We also took them out of school about then - it was wonderful to end all the aggrovation and strife our lives seemed to be dominated by. It was destroying all our self esteem and preventing us from enjoying being a family.
You are the only person who is 100% interested in your child - forget the rest. Your child is an individual, who may have some difficulties which prevent them from fully coping in the world, but who is wonderful and unique. Our experiences are that all the so called "professionals" are anything but.
My advice would be to take "time out". Step back, spend time with your child and really get to know them and enjoy their company. Why not withdraw them from school until you reconsider your options and priorities and renegotiate the future on your terms? Why not change your doctor? You need to tell these people that you need supportive people around you who value you and listen.
Take heart and take care. You're not alone in this.
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By Simone
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Re: bloody doctors !!
Sat 5 Jul 2008 01:40Do they know anything? The sad part is they get paid more then we do.
- By loopy
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Re: bloody doctors !!
Sat 5 Jul 2008 10:08We love her because she is so cute and unique as are my other children. She is very overweight though and that does give me cause for concern. But how do you tell an autistic teenager that cannot hardly put 2 words togeather and still watches tellytubbys that she cannot have a biscuit? Especially when it is 3 in the morning and you dont want her to have a major flip out and wake the rest of the family?? These doctors only see what things on face value. Perhaps they sould spend 24 hours with me to see what it is really like. They might be singing a different tune then > one that goes something like "I am sorry, you are a fantastic mother who does her best for her children and i had no idea (because they dont) how hard it is for you and how emotionally consuming it is for you and your family"
- By loopy
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Re: bloody doctors !!
Sat 5 Jul 2008 10:14simone, i have just read your profile and i have to say that when my daughter leaves school in a few years time, i too will be concerned at the lack of educational facilities for her. It strikes me that most of it comes down to "money and funding" . If you dont have pots of money (which we dont ), and there is no funding available then you are completly stuck !!!
- By Rufus
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Re: bloody doctors !!
Mon 7 Jul 2008 15:01My husband's younger brother is austistic and is overweight. One GP suggested to starve him! But now he is in his middle teens he is growing up and inwards, and you would'nt notice him as being overweight.
Don't worry about doctors. If you dont fit in the box your made to feel really bad. But who cares about their shortsightedness. You are doing a fab job bringing up a happy girl.
- By loopy
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Re: bloody doctors !!
Mon 7 Jul 2008 22:14have spoke to daughters teacher who was off sick at the time. She said that she thought the doctor had bullied me into accepting that charlotte needed to see a psychologist . She said that she would back me 100% in my decision for charlotte not to see one. She also said that she is not winding other children up but her self harming was upsetting other kids (which i can understand). She also totally agreed with me when i said that controlling her weight was my main issue and that i felt that her behaviour was well controlled at home and at school. I have never been so relieved!!!!! so alls well that ends well i am glad to say. Charlottes teacher is a really fab teacher who i can really relate too.
- By lucyjad
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Re: bloody doctors !!
Tue 8 Jul 2008 10:28I think many doctors need to have their bedside manner assessed. What I wouldn't give to be left alone in a room with my OH's consultant at the moment.
My son has developmental difficulties and everyother report contradicts the next. I suppose he reacts differently in different settings but I think a lot of it is due to the fact that in many settings they do not get one on one attention and so the full story is never really reported.
Best of luck and remember to count to ten.Lucy
x
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