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Bipolar & Paranoia
- By jocc
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Sun 4 May 2008 09:13
I've been with my bipolar partner for nearly 8 years - he was diagnosed 6 years ago after a severe manic episode which included psychosis. He takes his meds regularly but still continues to cycle. I think I cope and care the best I can but it's becoming more and more difficult. He's just started becoming ill again after a relatively calm 4 months. When he's ill, everything becomes directed at me. Usually he becomes convinced I'm having affairs - this has made me conscious of never mentioning another males name, in the past he's become convinced I'm sleeping with anyone including our children's friends fathers, the window cleaner, the gardener, his friends and the man next door - it's really embarrassing and I'm terrified he's going to wrongly accuse someone. Now his latest thing is that I'm stealing all the money he earns (I work too) - he's started going through my phone and handbag - I've got nothing to hide but he can twist anything to suit his paranoia. I've begged him to let me come to the doctor with him but he won't let me - I want to go to counseling but from what I understand is, that we need to be referred to a specialist counselor as relate etc just won't be able to help - and in order to get this counseling we need to be referred by his psychiatrist and he just won't do is . We've got two children together (6 &5) and I feel very alone and trapped and I've also become paranoid and watch every step of my behavior to try to ensure that I don't do anything to spark off his paranoia. He's even told his boss he's thinking of leaving me because he can't trust me. When he's well I love him and want our family to work but when he's ill, despite all my reassurances he says he hates me and doesn't trust me. Does anyone else have similar experiences? I've got no one to talk to about this
Replies
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By coffee
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Re: Bipolar & Paranoia
Mon 5 May 2008 11:37Hi jocc this really is stressful to you and that putting it mildly having not been through this sort of trauma all I can suggest is if you copy /paste Bipolar & Paranoia into your search engine it will bring you up to some sites that will not only offer help but will able to advise you also ask to speak to his GP yourself either make an appointment or phone him also do the same with his psychiatrist talk about how you and the kids feel and ask for his help / advise but I don't think counselling will do much good as this problem is to do with the illness and as far he is concerned it is you not him that's at fault look at these sites and contact them ASAP coffeex
- By valleygirl2
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Re: Bipolar & Paranoia
Mon 5 May 2008 21:18My son suffers from paranoid schyzophrenia so i know what it`s like.When he is ill everything focuses on me and I become the most hated person.I get accused of all sorts even poisoning him.He has been quite well now for a few months but I never hold my breath.He has now been told to consider changing his medication to chlozorhyll(don`t know if that`s the spelling) but it has possible bad side affects.
I have learnt to enjoy the good times when he is well.
- By Courtesy
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Re: Bipolar & Paranoia
Wed 7 May 2008 09:24Hi Jocc this sounds really tough. My thoughts are with you. I think going to your GP about how it is affecting YOU is a good idea, particularly if you have a good GP. I did this a few years ago and although it took ages for my partner to admit that he had a part to play, I think it started off a road to, if not recovery then better harmony. I joined a 'friends/family of bipolar' support group via 'DailyStrength.org - coffee's advice - thanks coffee - and it was really uplifting to know that I could be in touch with people with similar difficulties.
Hope this helps.
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By Marcuspolo
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Re: Bipolar & Paranoia
Thu 8 May 2008 10:10Hi Jocc, I have just registered and posted here. I have been with my wife for 18 years and she has similar responses to me when she is ill. She hates me and wants a divorce when she is ill and when she is well she loves me. After 18 years I have yet to have any help for me but I have not really tried to find help only ask for it from the hopital and other medical staff.
I think you need to find somone or a group of people with similar citcumstances so you can discuss and relate your feelings. It won't make your partner any better but it will make you feel better if you can talk about what you are going through.
In life you feel like you are walking on a tight rope and you don't know which side you are going to fall. I really try and keep things calm all the time but what ever I do its like walking on glass.
keep in there, as you say when he is well you make a great family.
- By jocc
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Re: Bipolar & Paranoia
Fri 9 May 2008 06:07Thanks everyone for your comments, it really helps knowing other people understand what I'm going through. x
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