CANCER -scared of future

Replies

By meg mackenzie

Re: CANCER -scared of future
Mon 24 Dec 2007 11:58

Annyanne

I can not begin to imagine how you must feel for your daughter having been found to have cancer again. You will find the strength to cope, but I do not know from where, it just happens.

My mum had alzheimers and seven years into serious dementia she began showing cancer symptoms. As she was unable to remember anything for more than three seconds she was unable to have a diagnostic scan, and without a diagnosis set in stone no real palliative care was available. We learned by trial and error how much morphine liquid could be mixed with ice cream as that was latterly all she could put in her mouth. I had to have hysterics at 2am with an out of hours doctor to get fentanyl patches for her and syringe driver was out of the question as the district nurse remembered she had been needle phobic and refused to recommend it. After seventeen days and nights without sleep I was allowed a Marie Curie nurse overnight from 10pm, but mum died at 6.40pm the same night. That was almost two years ago and I still battle to get decent care for my 87 year old dad left behind and devastated.

Within eight weeks of losing mum we were told my husband had incurable cancer which would result in a painful death with not much hope of pain relief working, but it would be over within six weeks! I demanded a second opinion and he had five ops and a blood clot removed....every day is a bonus and we can never plan ahead, but at least he is still with us.

Heaven knows what is in store for any of us, but I do believe that where there is life there is hope, and your daughter will find the strength to endure her treatment and you will find the strength to support her. I hope she has access to a good specialist hospital, as it makes all the difference.

Take care
Meg

By mag

Re: CANCER -scared of future
Mon 24 Dec 2007 12:06

Dear Annyanne

I am so sorry to read of your daughter's illness - it is so hard to cope with the caring role you are in. I look after my husband who has had leukaemia for nearly nine years. Then in early 2006 I was diagnosed breast cancer and after surgery, chemo, etc., I am doing well but can certainly empathise with what the "cancer journey" is like.

On this site you will find Carers in many different roles but we have lots in common too so please feel free to come into the chat room where conversation on any subject under the sun can encourage and lift the spirits a little. Best time to meet others there is 7.30 pm onwards.

For factual information regarding cancer, treatments etc visit
www.cancerbackup.org.uk That site also offers a freephone helpline where you can talk to qualified people not only about your daughter's condition but also about how you are feeling and how you can cope.

www.cancerbuddiesnetwork.com is a site where you may find emotional support and encouragement.

(I'm sorry that I don't know how to display the above website addresses so that you can click on them but both sites are well worth visiting)

I hope that you have good GP/Specialist/Oncologist support so that you can ask questions and advice.

Kind regards - Mag

By annyanne

Re: CANCER -scared of future
Tue 25 Dec 2007 20:33

Thanks for your replies,they are helpful. Just knowing I can share through this media at anytime is a real help as difficult emotions can well up at anytime of day and night . Many thanks xxx