feelings

Replies

By chenrezig

Re: feelings
Sun 22 Jul 2007 18:49

Dear Zean,

I do feel for you. My maternal Grandmother was in a "mental hospital" for years, at least 30 - odd I think. That was when they had those huge hospitals. Every now and then she would ask when she was going home (we used to visit her very other week), aged 70-odd, so I know how you feel. But the way these things go she would forget about it after a while.

My paternal grandmother did eventually had to go into a care home because of her dementia -she was found wandering in the street on a freezing cold night - her neighbour spotted her and took her in and called us. We felt guilty at having to move her into a home. But we knew she was safe and being looked after.

We can only do our best and I'm sure you have. I do feel for you and wish you all the best.

Liz

By amber

Re: feelings
Sun 22 Jul 2007 19:37

Dear Zean
I am in a similar position to you. I am the sole carer for my elderly mother who has dementia. I am beginning to realise that the time when mom requires more permanent 24hr care is approaching and I will have to make the decision to 'let her go'. I already feel guilty just thinking about it so I know a little already about what you must be feeling. I guess we have to say that as long as we have done what is the best for our relative then we shouldn't feel guilty. But making the decision about what exactly is the best is very difficult isn't it? I sometimes wish someone from outside would come in and make the decision for me. I sorry I can't be more helpful but just wanted you to know that you are not alone with your feelings and I wish the very best for you and the family as it adapts to a different type of life for all concerned.

Amber

By valley girl

Re: feelings
Mon 23 Jul 2007 00:01

My sisters and I had to put both my Mam and Dad into care home for their own safety.I felt guilty for a long time but time told me it was the right decision .Mam had dementia,Dad has dementia and Parkinsons.Mam passed away almost 2 years ago and the care she received in her final days was second to none.So caring .Every time we visit Dad he tells us he couldn`t be anywhere better,so it means that I can concentrate on my son without feeling guilty for neglecting someone else.
I know feel no guilt and am so glad that I can sleep at night knowing he is safe.

By graham

Re: feelings
Mon 23 Jul 2007 19:18

I feel very much for you zean. I am sure these feelings will pass very soon. You have done what is right for your Mother-in-law & your Family. I care for my 92 year old Mother & currently I am ( just about ) managing. If the time comes when alternative arrangements have to be made I am sure I will have the same feelings as you are now. It is quite natural I think. Good luck. Things will settle down soon I'm sure.