I do not know how much more slander I can take

Replies

By coffee

Re: I do not know how much more slander I can take
Wed 2 May 2007 10:37

Lizzie have you spoken to the Parkinson disease society about this as I don't think the SS has the right if you wont private help you are initialled I maybe wrong so get in touch with the PD Society
Web site www.parkinsons.org.uk
Help line 0800 800 0303
They also have an online enquiry line and a forum
coffee

By Pysie

Re: I do not know how much more slander I can take
Wed 2 May 2007 18:25

Hi, Lizzie,

I'm so sorry you are having such a hard time at the moment.

As I suggested in reply to your previous message, I really think you should phone your local Citizens Advice Bureau and ask for a meeting with a legal advisor BEFORE your meeting on Friday. I'm sure you are entitled to legal representation at this meeting, especially considering the slanderous/libelous comments that have come to light. If you can't contact CAB in time, you are entitled to ask for the meeting to be postponed until you can get legal advice. (Tell them you have only recently received the file and you need time to digest it and get advice.). You will need to speak to a lawyer, though, to see exactly where you stand.

It seems there are now two issues - your refusal to pay for the care package, and the defamation contained in the file. CAB will be able to advise you of your rights in both matters and suggest a course of action. As far as I can see, you have done nothing wrong. Indeed, you may have a right to sue your local council for defamation of character! It could be you will have to instruct a solicitor privately but, if Social Services are at fault, they will be expected to foot the bill. Just be guided by what CAB say.

In the meantime, try not to worry. There are still some good people out there who believe in justice!!! (By the way, gleaning from your previous messages, is/was your husband ordained? I am/was a reader!)

Love,
Pysie

Do let's know how you get on.

By llizzie

Re: I do not know how much more slander I can take
Wed 2 May 2007 18:27

Dear Coffee, I haven'e contacted the society. It is possible they may help me, but the mediation is on Friday and I have no way of getting any information to anyone as the time is short. Apparently the County started the claim last December, almost five years after they first came, but I did not receive any information from the court until January. I have had to make our own defence, which was hard, but not so much had I not saved all the correspondence. BUT, on top of this they only sent the file on Saturday which has knocked me for six. I enquired of one website and they say quite firmly that the Social Services had absolutely no right to insist, even if they thought they should interfere, and I have always believed that, and on the County's own website they say you do not have to accept their care if you do not want it.
I can disprove the lies they have said, which incidently are remarks passed on to them (?hearsay?) and mostly by two people, but until now I did not know why people are saying such horrid things about us. The one redeemable thing is that this file actually acknowledges the many times I refused the package, and apparently that is all I have to prove. They were told by myself and my children that if they came they would not be paid, yet they kept it up for three years and ran up a bill we knew would put a strain on our resourses.Also they are wrong in icluding the Attendance Allowance as income, and I did not know that until this week because they never sent me a copy.

The one lovely point in our lives at the moment is that throught the past months, the BBC Cash in the Attic programme has been filming and helping us sell our things to buy more care, and today they took me to an estate agents to discuss selling and moving to be near our daughter, and while we were gone they brought in a team of MollyMaids to clean the place up and make it tidy and they went out and bought four lots of flowers and they were all in vases! I wish I could have told them about the problem, but I want to see the programme! I do not know when it will come out, they say about two months. They did all this because the said they liked us and that we had been so happy together!
If a sttlement is reached on mediation, I shall not be able to publicise this file full of untrue things, and because I can prove it, I rally want to know whether it would do any good at all. If they say they will take back their claim, I suppose I should agree, but then how would other elderly people get to know about these 'secret files'' and what other things have they said? What would your other members do in this consequence? publish or accept a settlement?

By Jean_M

Re: I do not know how much more slander I can take
Wed 2 May 2007 19:09

I think you should ask for a postponement of the meeting, due to the fact you had not had time to take advice on the contents of this file, which you have barely had time to read. Then I would get a lawyer to look at it and, if possible, sue the pants off them. And if not, I would 'publish and be damned'.
That is appalling, but in these days, unfortunately, not surprising.

By Pysie

Re: I do not know how much more slander I can take
Wed 2 May 2007 20:22

Hi, again, Lizzie,

Mum and I always watch 'Cash in the Attic' together, so we shall look forward to seeing a TV star we feel we know! You must tell us more about what it's like being in the programme.

Did you read my message above? It was posted two minutes before you latest, so I assume you may not have seen it.

As Jean says, you must postpone this meeting and take legal advice. I know from previous messages that you wanted to conduct your own defence to save money, but this is not always the best option. In taking on Social Services, you are up against 'The Establishment' who have access to the best legal advice there is and it takes an experienced expert to over-turn their cases!!!

There are solicitors who specialise in your type of case. Most give a first consultation free of charge and, if you wanted to take the matter further, I am sure you would not find yourself out of pocket in the end. As I said, if Social Services is at fault, they will be expected to pay your legal costs. Also, you may find you qualify for legal aid.

Please take outr advice. Ask for the meeting to be postponed and then contact CAB to ask their advice and to ask them if they can recommend a solicitor. You and your husband deserve all the support you can get.

Love
Pysie

By llizzie

Re: I do not know how much more slander I can take
Wed 2 May 2007 22:12

Dear pysie, I have just typed a reply but I think I must have forgotten to press the publish button. It is too late to cancel, which is probably why they sent it late. Apparently the costs of mediation includes reading the stuff, and I emailed the mediater to point out that when he asked me to send more stuff I asked him what more he wanted and he said never mind the County have sent me a lot, so I suggested that if I am paying half the fee it seemed unfair. His reply was to send a request for the money now, but I told him I cannot get out to the post, and in any case it would not arrive in time and I shall bring the money with me. Apparently there could be hefty costs if we postpone.
You ask about George. Well you know he is one of the most brilliant scholars who graduated from Oxford. He had to take scholarships to get into Grammar school and then more all the time to go to Oxford. He has first class honours in Greek, Latin, Theology, Divinity and Ethics from Queens Oxford and trained for the ministry at Queens Birmingham. After his curacy he was appointed Chaplain to Salisbury Theological College and was made Vice Principal. We still have letters from his students. He also wrote commentaries pub,ished bu the Cambridge University Press which are still bought and used by students now. As his parents aged, he took the living of Combe Longa in 1964 where he cared for his parents, as they had never owned a house. He retired early, just by a year. The Vicarage was very large, although I never visited Combe until I met him, by which time he was living here. We were introduces in church about six months after I returned here, on the same day in fact, though we did not know it then. He is such a wonderful man. Even though retired, he worked very hard, filling in in interregna and taking groups etc. I am so glad I met him. He has made me very happy, and to me it is something of a privilege to care for him, though he really isn't any trouble. I mean, he does suffer now and again from galloping obstinacy, but he has a right to be independant. If it takes him 3 hours to get up who cares? we don't mind. In my life I have been just about everywhere in the world, working, and I have no desire to go anywhere, and that is what people cannot understand. Everyone is clammering for nursing home places and I want to keep my husband, and they just could not understand why. I just think that it is ignorance really, and the fact that they forget that just because he is old he has not had such a wonderful career. He could have done many things with his brain, but he devoted his knowledge to God and his parish. He never drove a car, he walked everywhere in the parish every day. They knoe that sooner or later he would be there and would talk with them. When I met him I did not even know he was vicar there, nor was I widdowed, yet there is in this report the statement: ''when she was widdowed she sought comfort from the Vicar of Combe'' I had no idea anyone was thinking such a thing. Certainly I had never said so, neither anyone I know. There are other nasty things too. I think that things happen to us for a reason and somehow we can redeem something from it. I hope so. If something productive could come out of this then it would be meaningful, but what productivity can come from these vile things I do not know. I can only really tell people and hope it will prepare them. He has never raised his hand or voice to me in the twenty years we have been wed. There are many instances of Social Services splitting elderly couples up, which is against our religion. When the pries said in our service ''what God has joined let no-one put assunder'' it did not mean running off with someone else, though it could I suppose, but to me it meant that no-one should divide a couple joined by God. We take other religious beliefs seriously, as we should (i think anyway that there is telepathy between the mother and the babe in the womb), but we seem to be failing in recognising some very serious meanings in the Christian religion. I wonder why?

By Pysie

Re: I do not know how much more slander I can take
Wed 2 May 2007 23:15

Hi, again, Lizzie,

I don't understand why you should be expected to pay the mediator, or even contribute to his/her costs. In your situation, a mediator is usually appointed by the local council, so Social Services should be paying all the mediator's charges. Why is he demanding money from you?

And I don't understand why you should lose out financially if you ask for a postponment of the meeting. It is the fault of Social Services that they have only recently passed the files to you, and they have to give you a reasonable time to read them and take independent legal advice if necessary.

All I can suggest is that you phone your local CAB first thing tomorrow morning. Tell them everything that is going on and take their advice.

George sounds a wonderful man, and he's very lucky to have you standing beside him. When this is all over, you really must write a book about your life together. In the meantime, I'll be thinking of you both.
Love
Pysie

By coffee

Re: I do not know how much more slander I can take
Thu 3 May 2007 09:27

hi lizzie
No lizzie it is not too late and AA is not taxable so they should not use this against you give PDS a call you might be glad you did. what have you got to lose? most as regards your program tell me when its on love coffee

By ena

Re: I do not know how much more slander I can take
Thu 3 May 2007 15:05

I have been in a similar situation to lizzie - the stuff written in the notes is horrendous. After an investigation they accepted responsibility & the investigation report attached to the notes, but the original slander is still on record for everyone to see. 3 lives were ruined by this, we are back together now but dare not ask anyone for help & dare not speak to anyone. I really need medical help myself for a problem but cant ask anyone to look after my son.

By llizzie

Re: I do not know how much more slander I can take
Thu 3 May 2007 19:29

To all you dear people who have answered me I give my thanks. I contacted the government people who explain the Acts of Parliament. I wish I could forward it to this site somehow because it is saying, I think that no, the council cannot do this. I have also contacted another body and they too say that the S>S>cannot force anyone to accept the care package. This file is very defamatory. The District Nurse read some of it today and was appauled. I emailed the mediator, asking whether I should bring the evidence which proves the reports are wrong - really wrong I mean, and he just emailed back saying ''bring what you like. I am here to help the two sides come to an agreement and look to the future, not dwelling in the past'' and that remark has thrown me too. I replied that it is not I who produced this file, that less than a week ago I had no idea that they had such wrong information about me - where I came from, what I was doiing, who was George's next of kin beside me - I mean, whoever said these things could have asked me). I told him that the accompanying letter made it clear that the file was to be used as evidence that I was not suitable to look after him etc etc, and came out of the blue, and why could they not have sent it to me four months ago to give me time to digest it, and I suggested that it was a last minute attempt to force me to give in. He has not replied to that. How dare a mediator accuse me of dwelling in the past, when it is the County who is producing all this drivel, and that at least in these reports they have acknowledged the number of times I requested them to stop coming, besides the original refusal to accept the package in the first place. One piece of information I received from a firm of people who deal with this sort of thing has made it clear that the S>S> cannot force anyone to take a care package even if they think that there is cause for concern, which in this case there isn't anyway, except that maybe the reports were diesigned to prove that. To my mind, I would say that is why they have sent it at the last minute. I have received a form to fill in from Lawworks and one of the questions asked is if we had legal cover on our household insurance, and fool that I am I had not read the policy and it appears that we have, up to a limit per case of £50,000. Trouble is I applied rather late and they want to see all the paperwork and it is too late to send it to them. I wish I took the trouble to read the policy, but George has used the same Ecclesiatical Insurance for about 45 years, and I have been married to him for 20 years and apart from when the washing machine leaked a couple of times and we broke some things and lost my teeth(!) we haven't made a claim. It just goes to show that if you don't look you might be covered for anything. In this case I hope it is good news when I can get the stuff copied and sent. The awful thing is that Cash in the Attic sent me to the auction in Birmingam and then we went to Bristol and they pay for hotels and I stayed overnight in Bristol, where the Law firm of the household insurance wants me to send the stuff. Honestly it would be so funny if it wasn't so serious!! Do you know, I might even write that account. I have lived on borrowed time all my life and shouldn't really be here at all, so perhaps we are meant to go through these things so that we can avoid others falling into the same trap. Their claim is based on two Acts of Parliament, and I have tried many people who are supposed to knowitall(including ask jeeves) and I even sent up for copies of the Acts of Parliament involved to HMSO, but it was involved so I found out you can get explainations from Westminster so I did. If I could forward a copy to the site it may help someone else. You are all so supportive. I really believe that if I am beaten, then everyone in my situation in years to come will face the same. It really is not worth even thinking about help from Social Services because your life will not be worth living. If they can report: a neighbour sys...An oddjob man says.... who can we ever trust again?