Ronnie's story: no-one knows what a carer is

Ronnie, 61, has cared for his wife Ann for over 15 years. With MS and osteoarthritis in her spine she needs 24 hour care and he had to give up his job 12 years ago to look after her full time.

For Ronnie, the main worry is the deterioration in Ann's health. She has a progressive form of MS, which has reached the stage where she can only move her head and left hand. Should her left hand no longer work Ronnie will have to feed her. He already sees to most of her everyday needs such as washing, dressing, toileting, lifting her in and out of her wheelchair and cooking. As she cannot move, he also gets up at intervals of four to six hours during the night to change her position and make her more comfortable.

As he explains: "If Ann was in care it would take three shifts of people working around the clock to look after her."

Ronnie does not have opportunity to go out much, which inevitably impacts on his own health. He admits "being in one place all the time can be depressing. It can be claustrophobic". Through his local Carers Centre, Falkirk and Clackmannanshire, he has been on short breaks, which are the only holidays he has. Earlier this year when he went to Pontins, he says all he wanted to do was go there and sleep: “I was in bed by 10pm, knackered".

Their family help out: when he attends the men’s carers group their daughter comes round to look after Ann. However Ronnie and Ann are concerned about the future, explaining "we do not want our family to have to do this in the future as it would deprive them of their freedom."

Despite the strains of the situation, their relationship has endured; Ronnie says: "You have to accept things as they are. In 37 years we have never had a serious argument."

However, Ann's condition makes it difficult for them to plan for the future, as they don't know how her health will change. At an age when many couples would be starting to think of retirement, Ronnie says "we can't plan ahead".

When asked what could help he replies: “There's not enough recognition of what a carer does. When I fill in forms there's no category for full time carer; no-one understands what that is."