My 13 year old Aspergers son
- By oooops
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Mon 7 Apr 2008 16:04
I'm new to this so not really sure what to say other than I've read ome comments and wonder if it's ok to just have a moan and maybe pick up tips?
My son is 13 statemented and at a main stream school. He's being terribly bullied. I've spoken to the school and it does seem that some of the bullying is caused by things he does himself such as staring etc. No matter how much I try to tell him how to act I can;t seem to help him as he won;t listen. I know people have far more problems than I do, but he shouts all the time, bangs doors threatens me and I have the added problam of an ex who can;t seem to understand his diability or deosn't want to. He's interested in girls, and has started to look at me and say inappropriate things which is also causing me to worry. I know he doesn;t mean it and he says he wouldn;t do it outside of the home, but it makes me anxious for the future. His school work suffers as he's trying to be cool ( and failing) by not working and starting to back chat. Without the 'savy' the other kids have he's not doing himself any favours with his class mates or teachers. He's becoming more introverted and narrowing his interests and developing more and more rituals and I'm lost. It seems he doesn't have severe enough problems as seen by the 'authorities' to warrant much help, but still shows all the problems associated with ASD.
Feels at times it's a losing battle, not one I'll give up, but I try to do all the things I should - keep my cool, not shout - but he's getting stronger, taller, bigger and louder and I just can;t seem to reach him. He won;t speak to his cousins as they are girls and yet they were his one sauce of outside companionship and I can't get him to see this.
I'm prob sounding like I'm whinging, but any tips, anything would be greatly appreciated as I can normally keep up beat, but finding it a little hard.
Replies
- By EL
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Re: My 13 year old Aspergers son
Mon 7 Apr 2008 19:09Hi oooops,
You are not whinging get that right from the start.
I had similar problems with my son being bullied at school and a lot was down to his lack of social communication problems, he stares but so what? the form teacher would solve a lot of problems if they had a class meeting (in your sons absence) and explained to the children the difficulties your son has, and maybe suggest the kids smile or give the thumbs up instead of reacting negatively. This would diffuse the situation straight away, and then maybe the kids can get to see the friendly side of your son. They and us have nothing to appologise for or to explain, the school have a duty to educate themselves on Asperger's if they have a child in their care diagnosed with this ASD. Dont appologise on his behalf and dont feel embarrassed or the need to explain the in's 'n' out's. A video diary is what i used to educate family members, i showed the highs of his good days and the lows of his rages. They'll see.......
- By big moma
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Re: My 13 year old Aspergers son
Sat 12 Apr 2008 12:13my soon to be daughter-in law has a son with asperger's because I have only known him a couple of years I'm still learning. I have him and his brother when needed but find him a strain has i am a carer for my dad who lives with us. It does seem that these children just look like naughty children and people don't want to understand when we are out.
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By natalie
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Re: My 13 year old Aspergers son
Tue 15 Apr 2008 20:50hi everyone ASD is such a vast area and very difficult to understand for anyone who has no knowledge my daughter has this with learing diff im lucky i suppose as i work in a school for autism and aspergers so have lots of knowledge on lots of different stuff to help my daughter and us as a family i would love to help anyone who needs anything we use boardmaker a lot and could not function in school without this its great just ask if you need anything either on here or through the web team
- By EL
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Re: My 13 year old Aspergers son
Thu 17 Apr 2008 09:39Hi natalie,
Whats a boardmaker? how is it used?
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By natalie
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Re: My 13 year old Aspergers son
Fri 18 Apr 2008 11:48boardmaker is a computer programe and you are able to make viual aids for things like behaviour management boards and pictures for shopping lists basically it can be used for absolutley anything the less sensory overload the better and if your son is not responding to verbal instruction you can just show him a pic of wat you want him to do you can add text on the symbols if he can read also social stories are good the idea is to write a short story with the childs name example jon is going on the bus today and it is raining so jon will get wet but its ok because we are going to get on the bus and jon will get dry wen jon has been shopping jon can go home on the bus and if jons clothes are wet jon can take them of and put dry ones on ect.....you can do this for any situation you think may cause any stress or behaviour you dont want this used with any visual promps would help sorry if im being long winded its hard to explain really if you need any more help u can contact me thriugh the web team natalie
- By loopy
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Re: My 13 year old Aspergers son
Fri 18 Apr 2008 21:02i think i know what you mean natalie. My daughter has a picture schedule that she has to follow at school. The symbols are velcroed onto a strip of laminated plastic and by looking at it she can tell what she is going to be doing that day. It saves alot of hassle and temper tantrums.
- By EL
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Re: My 13 year old Aspergers son
Sat 19 Apr 2008 10:22Oh i get it! we call it 'social stories' i too have velcro strips in loo, bathroom, kitchen, and his bedroom, he turns the picture over when that task is done, and when we go out i have 'cue cards' to tell him what we have to do and where we have to go, he finds it easier if i only write 1 word per card, ie; 1.bus 2.city 3.Abbey etc etc we both would be lost without these, and they have to be small enough so other people dont realise what we are doing
one day though we will get busted for drug dealing cause thats what it looks like we're doing passing stuff palm to palm, lol 
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By natalie
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Re: My 13 year old Aspergers son
Sun 20 Apr 2008 13:53that is called PECS picture exchange communicatin system
social stories is what i was talking about its a made up story it sounds like ypour school are using boardmaker but it could be used more why dont u approach your senco in school and ask for use of the programe or some training in it it would come in very usefull for u
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