Young Carers

Replies

By Pysie

Re: Young Carers
Wed 16 May 2007 00:13

Hi, Lizzie,

It is an absolute disgrace that, in this day and age, our society should expect chidren to take on the role of a carer. It is estimated there are 175,000 young people under the age of 18 - some as young as 5 - who have sacrificed their childhood in order to look after parents and/or siblings. (There are possibly another 250,000 coping with drug-addicted parents and 1.3 million with alcoholic parents.)

Some time ago I emailed my MP (Conservative) to ask whether he would support a Bill to identify carers - young carers in particular. He wrote back that he would not support the Bill because it had not been costed. A week later a 13 year-old carer committed suicide by taking an overdose of her mother's morphine. I emailed my MP again to ask what was the cost of a child'e life. I have yet to receive a reply.

I understand the PRTC is working fearlessly with various childrens' charities to support these young carers. However, I also understand the government is intending to divert the Carers Grants for the work they do away from the charities to local autorities where it will not be ring-fenced.

There is a short report on this topic of young carers on the PRTC Home page. The main national papers carried reports on 10 May and you can read these on-line if you google the date and 'young carers'.

I do believe it would help if people wrote to their MPs. We adult carers have experienced the stress of caring at first hand and can imagine somethig of what these children must be going through.

Perhaps the PRTC would like to advise us as what else we could do to help young carers?

Love
Pysie

By llizzie

Re: Young Carers
Wed 16 May 2007 11:39

dear Pysie How I agree with you. I know I should not quote religious text, but the Gospel writer said Jesus took a little child and set him in their midst and said ''whover harms one of these my little it would be better for him if a milstone were tied around him and he be cast into the deep sea'' (not exact but the gist is there) and I do believe that that makes us all, whatever our religion take more care of our children, and when parents need help, it should not be the children who give it. I certainly would not advocate dividing families either. I would liove to think that MP's could do something, but I also know that they will not ruin their careers to press for something that may need money, especially so close to an election. In the past, having fought County elections since the 1960's until the early 1980's I know full well that prevarication is the name of the game! I also know from sitting on the Social Services Committe 30 years ago just how much the budget could be swelled. I know that those who they think can pay are 'encouraged' to do so. A very high percentage of people paying the full price was necessary in order to help those who could not pay. I will never forget things like that, and I do think that Social Services have a duty to these children and that they should exercise it. I think it has to come from other places too. The researchers at - where was it Liverpool Uni ? - who found the number of cases, could also start a trend to make practical experience part of the University curriculam for all Social Workers' courses. Not only would that help the children, the students would know a bit more. My son went to university as a mature student. When we went to his graduation, the students with Social Studies Degrees were, to say the least, not very encouraging. Despite the gowns, they had half buttoned blouses, giggling and laughing . They may have been happy, but hardly inspired confidence. Perhaps if they had practical experience in the field before they graduate they would not find the courses so easy.I read that there are more Social Work courses than ever these days. Students doing a level courses - 16-18 year olds could be encouraged to help the younger children and earn themselves some money. Perhaps ''gap year'' experiences should be taken at home rather than abroad. A practical pre-university course experience should be a positive way to help. I doubt very much whether politicians have any idea. When I first won an election onto the county council I was the youngest councillor they had, the youngest woman and the only mother of young children ever to sit on this Council. I like to think I made a difference and in many ways I did. The old fogies who had been there for years were able (in the days before attendance payments) to have their wages made up if they lost work attending meetings. I think that that fact was why there were no young women, or mothers on County Councils before then. I argued that if they can get loss of earnings, then I should get babysitting costs, after all, why should women and mothers attend meetings at their own expense when the men did not? This was 1971. That went nationwide. No one had ever asked such a thing, but it was agreed, and opened the door for other young women and mothers. During the 11 years, I sat on many committees, including the Education Committee. I will not say who it was because he is no longer with us, but he had a Downs Syndrome child. At a meeting of Special Education, when I was trying to make things better for kids, he said ''it is no use spending money on these children because they cannot give anything back'' I never, ever thought that I would hear words like that comiong from anyone. I said they do not have to - if they can learn how to do some things for themselves that is reward enough. I do not think that that view has changed over the years. I could tell somme appauling stories, and 2000 years after Christ, we still have not learned, have we?

By Grumpy_Bear

Re: Young Carers
Thu 23 Aug 2007 14:59

Saw this thread and thought id make a comment.

Im 22 now but I was a young carer, and as Pysie pointed out, you can start as early as 5, this was the case for me. I was a young carer from 5 until 18(So the full amount of time ur considered one) for my mother, thankfully at 6 my step-dad came on the scene but mothers condition was so severe i had to have a significant role in looking after me, as with most cases becuase dad had to work since mum couldnt, often their was nobody else.

I wont bore you with the exact details of what i did on a daily basis etc, it would be too long a post and miss the point. All i will say on the matter is my mother is an extremely ill diabetic, renal failure, total pancreas failure etc, and that doctors and chonsultants, and various specialists often asked me my views on her condition from a professional perspective, since i had been caring from the moment i could i had more experience than most of them!. When i was 16 my mum became the 40th person in the world to have a double kidney and pancreas transplant, extremly rare but she is doing as well as can be expected, she no longer needs insulin or dialysis. Inronically she had the transplant the night before my first gcses! but i did well, and actually taught the class on the teachers request about dialysis!.
I was a good student and becuase i never kicked up a fuss, nothing was ever done to support me, even though the school was acutely aware, ie, everytime the receptionist came into class it was informing me mum was in hopsital etc.

When i did this officially beyond doctors and hospital circles, Young carers did not exist. To this day young carers are barely recognized, but it is better than when i did it, but since my generation of young carers had no support whatsoever, not event training all i learned was on the job so to speak, thats not exactly hard. It why they call it "hidden lives"

The articles saddnned and angered me in the times, not enough is being done and id hoped to god that things would get better, but they simply are not. You cant make kids( and despite all the skills and maturity, that is exactly what they are) deal with life and death decisions often on a daily basis, with the knowledge that no help will come if they need it. It makes you grow up far too fast, but at the cost of your childhood, and its a terrible price to pay. But people have to recognize that the way the system is now, its a lack of options, in my case it was my mothers life or my childhood, and so in that respect i payed it gladly. There was no third option.

im 22 now and at uni, which has reduced my carer role to just when i am at home, since dad now works at home. My role as a young carer has had great effect on me, good and bad. At uni ive struggled, since it was the first time i had to care for myself, and obviosuly didnt know how, it was also the first time i could process half of what id seen and felt as a young carer, remembering several times when you literally had your mum in your arms saving her life, screaming inside for somebody to come and help is not the type of memory any child should have. Ive been severly depressed over it, due to delayed shock etc, but im working on it and as the doctors said "considering all you did, you should have ended up alot worse".

Mum occassioanly sees people who are waiting for the same transplant she does, and i speak to them, and any young carers invovled, but the government needs to step in and be accountable, many young carers walk away from it extremly traumatised, the government cannot continue to use children as free medics and nurses. I asked my doctor why he allowed it with no support, he said "becuase you were good at it, and there was nobody else"

Knowing the cost however, i would do it all over again for my mother, and i know nearly all young carers feel the same in their respective circumstances. I am proud to have been one.

I dont know in all honesty how its going to get sorted since it is a massive problem, it has taken 16 years of my life just to read an article admitting Young Carers exist. But Young carers are children, not tools of the government, hospital or anyone else, and people need to start helping them be kids.

Will

By booglebum

Re: Young Carers
Tue 28 Aug 2007 00:59

lizzie, i agree with you, you should not quote religous quotes.

By mag

Re: Young Carers
Thu 30 Aug 2007 19:14

Why shouldn't lizzie use religious quotes? The one she used was particularly apt, given the subject "Young Carers" and the way in which they are taken advantage of.

Will - I have met you in chat and, as I said before, I think you are amazing - your loving attitude to your mother overriding all the injustices of the system which left you to get on with it, as the doctor said "because you are good at it". With all my heart I wish you well in your studies and for the future.

Mag

By booglebum

Re: Young Carers
Fri 31 Aug 2007 09:59

lizzie herself says she should not of used a religous quote, i was just agreeing as i am expressing an opinion which we are all alowed to do.

By mag

Re: Young Carers
Fri 31 Aug 2007 11:18

I agree that we are all entitled to our opinions and I was expressing mine

By lizzie_T

Re: Young Carers
Mon 10 Sep 2007 13:28

Thank you mag. I quoted not because it was religious to just one section of community, as all religious groups have a care of children, but to emphasise how little regard we can still have for the young ones who try so hard to cope. We always read about yobbos etc., but so little about the children who care. The origin of those words go back 2,000 years and we are still in need of them now. To me, it is common sense. Even those who do not believe must surely spare thoughts for young lives lost? Lost they surely are, because they go from children to adults too soon. My original statement still stands - children whose parents are poor do not get the help that they would get if the one they care for can pay, however small the amount, for social services. They make speedy assessments to homeowners and keep the poorer people waiting months. You only have to look on the Omudsman website to see this.

By lizzie_T

Re: Young Carers
Mon 10 Sep 2007 13:35

I meant to add that, anyone who applies to the Social Services for help should bear in mind that, f for any reason they are not able to pay the bill for care, they will be taken to court and all their medical and social service records will be produced in court and circulated to quite a few other bodies. I think this is against the law, but they do it anyway. It is blackmail and coersion. If your income is above £130 a week you will have to pay something. This is minimum income. For those dependent entirely on social security, it is made up in benefits, so that means there is no-one who qualifies for free help. I ish I had £ for every person who has told me they thought social SErvices was free. There is not one person where we live that I know who is aware it is not.

By booglebum

Re: Young Carers
Tue 11 Sep 2007 09:59

i totally agreeded with lizzies messages, i was simply expressing an opinoin which got questioned not comented on. i care deeply for any child regardless of religion etc. i know how badly children are treeated in one instance myself and my sis were on care orders up to age of 18yrs. when my sis was a few months away from 18th birthday she begged social services for help and thier reply was "your only a few months away from not being thier problem, goodbye" she slept rough till being hospitilized through mental health. social services have their own law which is unspoken of course.