Is This Fair?
- By Beth
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Fri 10 Oct 2008 19:13
Today on the lunch time news there was an article about an elderly man who had been caring for his wife for 15 years and despite asking Social Services for help several times he was not given any help at all. He was so desperate for help and so utterly drained and exhausted he decided to kill his wife and then commit suicide. He contacted relatives to say his good byes who in turn contacted Police. He was charged with murder of his wife.
Surely the point here is that neither Social Services nor his relatives assisted this man in the care of his wife. He faced the murder charge on his own but I would say that Social Services are equally guilty in that they failed to give any assistance and someone died as a result of their failure to render assistance when asked.
Social Services never have to face the consequences of their failures
Beth
Replies
- By Tricia
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Re: Is This Fair?
Fri 10 Oct 2008 21:22To be honest I am surprised there are not more cases of this nature when you hear of the fight carers have to access services. Especially for those caring for someone with a mental health issue
I am fortunate that I do get the services which we need but I hear of stories locally and nationally about the struggles carers have.
Will there be an investigation with social services where this couple lived?
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By loopy
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Re: Is This Fair?
Fri 10 Oct 2008 21:31social services failed this poor man appalingly
- By Mouse
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Re: Is This Fair?
Sat 11 Oct 2008 07:48A very sad case indeed and must admit I don't know the details of this particular case. But also in the news today is an 86 year old man found guilty of manslaughter of his 85 year old wife who he felt he could not care for. But reading the case details on this one the gent concerned admitted he had been offered Social Services help and had refused, prefering to be his wifes sole carer.
Funny old world !!!!!!
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By debzsanderson
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Re: Is This Fair?
Sat 11 Oct 2008 11:09a lot of elderly people unfortunately are very "stuck in their ways" and wont accept help.I think its so sad but it happens so often and unless these people have caring neighbours/relatives to look out for them they will continue to struggle until something like this happens.
- By Bubbles
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Re: Is This Fair?
Sat 11 Oct 2008 16:53This is so sad. With a lot of elderly people pride comes into it. They are afraid of being put into homes as well. Communities are not the way they were when my nan was young and everyone knew if someone was ill or struggling. They seemed to pull more together and families seemed closer to each other then. Society has a lot to answer to.
- By EL
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Re: Is This Fair?
Sun 12 Oct 2008 00:28The carer must be tormented at the possibility that they could pass away before the person they care for and may feel scared for them and if they would be looked after properly, aw don't it make your heart bleed for them
- By kerry.
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Re: Is This Fair?
Sun 12 Oct 2008 12:39IMO we can all blame thatcherism for this decline in community where her philosophy was taken from an 18th C writer called Samuel Smiles "God helps those who help themselves".
Elderly people are prone to not asking for help/refusing help etc, due to pride, and the fact that they dont feel they deserve it (altho it seems this man did ask, it took a lot of courage on his part)- the same with them not claiming all the entitlements as pensioners (plus the forms are too hard)
This story and other stories like it make me physically want to throw up.
That poor man must have been so desperate.
The saddest thing is that he wont be the last.....
- By kerry.
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Re: Is This Fair?
Sun 12 Oct 2008 12:42PS, EL you are so right in what you say about passing away before the caree.
My boys are only 9 and 11 but if there is one fear I have it is that I know, all things being equal, that we will die before they do and it terrifies the crap out of me, wondering what will hapeen to my precious babies.
- By morello
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Re: Is This Fair?
Tue 14 Oct 2008 10:54I am not surprised at this. The posting must reflect many peoples feelings. If you are going to go then the person you care for must be gone too, because the services are so appaling you feel that way. It passes my mind many times during the day. When you feel so low and think you cannot cope much longer, there is nobody you can turn to , to even talk. I can understand this man completely. Unfortunately, by calling relatives he was crying for help. Personally I wouldnt tell anybody at all. Just leave a note. Social services and the government firstly should take a long hard look at themselves. They are the ones who should be in the dock for this murder by default. They all disgust me.
Mo
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By coby6602
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Re: Is This Fair?
Tue 14 Oct 2008 20:26I'm the carer of my 89yr old dad who has terrible arthritis as well as severe short term memory loss. He is not entitled to help from social services as he can dress himself!!! I do all of his cooking, washing, cleaning etc. We are waiting to have an assessment of his care needs done but when i told him we might be able to get some extra help for him he was terrified that strangers would come in and mistreat him or steal from him. I think this is a problem for a lot of old people as they read so much about elderly abuse and theres so many reports of abuse in residential and nursing homes. My dad is worried all the time that he will have to go in a home one day or worse still into hospital. His fear is so great that he has asked our doctor to make sure that no-one tries to revive him if he becomes seriously ill. I think its so sad that he would rather die than risk being mistreated by those that are paid to help him. I don't blame the poor old man that killed his wife, better that than leave her to the mercy of the sadly lacking uncaring social services.
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