Carer with Post Traumatic Stress

Replies

By tess

Re: Carer with Post Traumatic Stress
Wed 20 May 2009 12:29

hi there sue i suffer from very bad post traumatic stress disorder i also sufer from night terrors due to a violent past.
my husband cares for me.

i dont know if this will help but if you could find someone to just sit and talk to you about your flashbacks i know its not easy i always try and put a good memory in my head when i get the flashbacks it dont always help. am attending a psychatrist i struggle to talk to him sometimes the only person i really talk to is my husband.

so i do know how your feeling you wish someone would go in to your head and take it all out .

people see you and think there is nothng wrong with you cause they cant see it. its not like a broken arm or a cut leg.

i have my good days and bad days .
my husband never leaves me i cant be trusted to be left alone sometimes i dont realise how hard it is for him not till i came to this site and read some carers comments. i keep him up at night with my night terrors he never complains just calms me down and talks to me till i drift off
it gets me down big time we have only been married 4 years i have suffered this just over 3 years so i do find life really hard at the moment

By suejane

Re: Carer with Post Traumatic Stress
Wed 20 May 2009 12:41

Hi Tess. At last, someone who understands.Your husband sounds wonderful.I had 2 abusive Exs until i met my lovely 3rd Husband. Iv been remarried for 7years but its also about my son and he is still in touch with his Dad so it never goes away, despite all the expensive counselling. Its very unfair and like you i have good days and bad days. I really do need this op so my doctor said try to rest and live quietly until you see Consultant June 3rd. Son is very good lad but wont speak much to my husband so we pay for a carer to sit with him 1 eveening a week and 1 saturday permonth we hav SS care at home, he hates to be away from home. I do feel for you, like you good days and bad days and awful nights.. Send me a message if you need too,i keep my laptop on at night so if i cant cope i watch a nice film, or Cranford or anything that helps, also love the series Lark Rise to Candleford.
Just write to me if you want too.

By suejane

Re: Carer with Post Traumatic Stress
Wed 20 May 2009 12:45

ps Buy a book called Post Traumatic Stress for Dummies. Its brilliant and will help your husband too if he reads it.Get it from the library or order from www.amazon.co.uk
Best wishes

By tess

Re: Carer with Post Traumatic Stress
Wed 20 May 2009 21:47

hi sue
i hope you get your op soon. i have been divorced fro my x 9 years and we had 3 kids together they are al grown up and married but he still trys to interfere with my life am 400 miles from him we have had to get a lawyer involved sometimes i think he will never leave me alone even though hes getting remarried this year he wont leave me alone i dont speak to him he tells the kids he wants me to die to be honest with the way i feel i wish i was sometimes my husband keeps me going and my first granchild is due anytime so i try and think posotive but my god its hard i have a very good doctor and very understanding my psychatrist well i sometimes feel he doesnt know what to do with me was there yesterday talking to him with hubby he keeps trying me with all kinds of sleeping tabs but all make me ill i take anti depressants in the morning but sometimes i think why bother. i lay in bed at night i hope that i dont wake in the morning cause i cant stand the pain and the nightmares i was always active had a full time job and then bang it hit me like a bolt one day i have never been able to fully come back from it.

By fenlander

Re: Carer with Post Traumatic Stress
Wed 20 May 2009 22:41

It must be awful to b haunted by terrible memories of things that happened. I have not been abused by exs cos I been lucky to be married to the same gentle man for 30 years. I do suffer from depression and trauma of the way we have been spoken to and treated over the years as a result of our beautiful sons being Autistic and the aftermath of my darling hubby's attempted suicide and resultant paralysis. I dont know if its possible for you but you just have to try and look forward and focus on what is good in your life and not let the evil peeps in this world ruin your life.

By suejane

Re: Carer with Post Traumatic Stress
Sat 23 May 2009 08:37

Hi Tess. Did you get my message about a brilliant book you can buy or borrow from the library called Post Traumatic Stress for Dummies? It is really good and will help you all to deal with it.My ex is still there, 200 miles away but there through the children here, but now im saying to myself ENOUGH, i need this op so much , hes not going to kill me this time as he tried 3 times before, im going to be well. I find now with support, i ddint have any before, that though i might bend again i wont break and im so sore, . I keep saying to myself ENOUGH and its working and i try to live one day or half a day at atime. Im so blinking angry, he wont show his ugly face here again my husband will be having him arrested.Just try to say, each night, enough. Its working for me after many years.Let me know how you get on. I too had alife until he turned up. I thought he was great and we had 3 kids but he turned out to be an absolute monster. Dont blame yourself.Think of a word to sat to yoursel as i have done, believe me you will get stronger and it wont always be there to haunt you.When you see his face again think of it as a picture you can tear up and then put it firmly in the bin outside your house, keep doing it.. You will win, pracise it, think of things that make you happy eg playing music and do that too.You will get there.xx