nursing homes

Replies

By JeanM

Re: nursing homes
Sun 26 Oct 2008 15:03

Oh Kate, I don't know what to say
Will be thinking about you all and praying.
(((((((((((((((((((((((((((hug))))))))))))))))))))))))
Jeanxx

By Bubbles

Re: nursing homes
Sun 26 Oct 2008 15:53

Kate, Im so very sorry. I cannot believe your social worker, its absolutely disgusting to come out with something like that and since when did she also have a medical degree on your Ians condition.

First of all p-lease do not take what she said as absolute. Get in touch with the hospital/your doctor and demand to have a meeting to discuss what this so called social worker has said.

Get in touch with social services and demand to speak to this persons overall manager and also put a complaint in writing to them.

You will be in my prayers tonight Kate. Please dont give up your Ian needs you to fight for him and be there for him and you need to do this for you most of all.Take care my dear.Bubbles.

By debzsanderson

Re: nursing homes
Sun 26 Oct 2008 15:57

Kate I am absolutely fuming at this - no one in there position has the right to say that. I hope you are taking this further and name the sw who told you this. You can ask for a new SW firstly and get them to review your/Ians case.I think right now you need to not tell the boys anything as I am sure that you won't have to keep Ian in hospital. I worry everytime that Mark gets ill that one day I might be in your situation as his ms can quite easily change to PP MS as well............
Please look after yourself and I'll be thinking about you

debz xx

By Bernie56

Re: nursing homes
Sun 26 Oct 2008 16:33

I agree the social worker is well out of order, how dare she voice her opinion in such an insensitive way??? Thinking of you and yours, Berniexxxx

By mel

Re: nursing homes
Mon 27 Oct 2008 10:14

sorry to hear you're news kate, I really wish I could insert a hug!

The only thing I can think of is that the SW was suggesting you spend time with Ian if he is so unwell, but it certainly doesn't sound like that's what was actually said! Having something so incensitive said must have really hurt.

I don't know if any of this is any help to you, but;
The councils idea of adapted is that the home has a walk in shower and handrails in the bathroom. Anything else specialised generally is added later through the OT's but due to the number of people needing work done the wait could be as you said a year or so.

So, Ultimately, as you are Ians Next of kin and carer, you have the extremely hard decision of whether you can manage his needs at home. Is he going to be cared for in bed or does he need hoists? will he need access to the bathroom, if so generally the hoists and stand aids are quite large pieces of equipment and the property would need plenty of space and widened doorways.

If Ian is being cared for in bed make sure the district nurse orders a hospital bed and a pressure or airflow mattress for him. A lot of people are cared for in their own homes when they are cared for in bed, but you'd have to consider how long you could care 24 hours a day if Ian needs support during the night time.

Also, if you are paying for support services via social services it may be worth asking for a continuing health care assessment, as it sounds like Ians needs are mainly health related and complex and that he may qualifiy for NHS to provide and pay for the care. If you are doing this, ask for as much care as possible as they will knock you down! if you feel you need Ian to have 3 nights night sitting to give you a rest then ask for 7 nights etc.

If you do feel that a nursing home is the best option, then ask social services for the telephone number of their inspection unit, they will have resports from all the inspections the home has had and will send them to you.

Also, I would advise that you take someone with you to case conferences whether its a friend or relative etc, and ask them to take notes as you;ll be caught up in the discussions, and make sure you take alist of questions with you as it's easy to forget things you need to ask when the conversation goes on with a lot of people there.

As to the social worker, if she felt she needed to tell you to spend time with ian then that should have been done by her coming to see you at home and certaily not in the manor she did it over the phone. horrendous. Please telephone and ask for a new social worker.

Please keep posting if you need to talk things through or vent !
Lots of love xxxxxx

By lizzie_T

Re: nursing homes
Mon 27 Oct 2008 20:02

your Ian seems to have been through the same as my George: pneumonia, followed by bladder, bowel and not swallowing. Did they tell you too that he acquired a 'progressive palsy' years ago which suddenly showed itself now? Did you see my other postings? We adapeted our house years ago because he would not move and it is perfect. That has not stopped them a few years ago trying to make us sell it and give them the money (I have a letter from them) leaving me homeless. Now in hospital 8 mths having goine through the above plus C Diff, MRSA throught he peg-feed and a pulmonary embolism when he was cured of the original chest cold after 2 weeks, we are hoping he will come home. My treatment from the hospital is appauling. I have not been able to visit him for weeks as it is too far away. Now promised 100% NHS funding the S S have bowed out. I have been asked to clear 2 bedrooms for live-in carers.
THIS EVENING I HAD A BIT OF A SHOCK WHEN MY DAUGHTER RANG. SHE TELLS ME THAT IF THE LIVING IN ARRANGEMENTS 'DO NOT WORK OUT' AND THE NURSES LEAVE, GEORGE WILL BE PUT INTO A NURSING HOME. ALSO THEY ARE SAVING HIS BED IN THE HOSPITAL. AS I SEE IT, THEY ARE TRAINING TWO PEOPLE TO CARE FOR HIM: AM TOLD THAT THEY ARE FROM 'ABROAD' (ARE THEY HAVING TO LEARN A LANGUAGE?) AND IF I DO NOT GET ON WITH THEM OR THEY ARE NOT ALLOWED TO TAKE CONTROL OVER THE HOUSE AND ME GEORGE WILL IMMEDIATELY BE REMOVED. I do not even know who these people are. I thought I was at least going to lay down some rules - not complicated. Are they going to dictate to me? Why should the question even arise? How dare they leave a decision to 2 people I have never met, untrained, and able to tell me what I can and cannot do in my own house? I have already had to have a small single bed in the corner ready for the hospital bed. Now it seems that perhaps the beds upstairs are not good enough. I trained as a nurse many years ago in 1959 on and it seems to me that now there is the ordinary nursing, with someone doing the work. The hoist is here already. The da te I have been given now is 14 Nov. If money is available for new beds for helpers I could better use it paying for the rooms to be cleared and cleaned.
If you can possibly keep your independance please do. Once they get their claws into you you are doomed forever. 10 years ago I was beaten up on a visit to London. My teether were broken leading to the roots being dug out in hospital, and losing the rest of my teeth. I was covered in bruises and had to have both hands operated on. A doctor said to me ''you will always be a victim if your don't stick up for yourself' Well that could have come from notes re my ex, but just how am I supposed to 'learn to stick up for myself' if they are now saying if I do not let these strangers dictate to me George will be put into a home? George always told me that if I retaliate I come down to their level. Please do not leave youself open to power-crazy people.