help !! need some advice on my 10 yr old son

Replies

By Tricia

Re: help !! need some advice on my 10 yr old son
Sun 15 Jun 2008 08:12

Hello Kirsty

it really depends upon which area you live in and if there is a holiday play relief play scheme avaiable in the area where you live. Contact your local Council they should have a list of what is available in your area.

Saying all that have you had your Carer's Assessment done? This will identify that you need a break during the long summer school holidays. It is also a very useful tool as it gives the evidence which you need to identify the services which you need as a carer.

I know I have heard people say that their area say they don't have the funding to do the services once they have had their Carer's Assessment completed. However, I would use it as an argument for your case to get services put into place along with if you don't get these breaks it will cost them more when the day comes along when you can't take no more. Anyone living under such a stressful situation can cope for a certain amount of time be it days, weeks, months or even years but eventually it will take toll on the carer's health.

To get a carer;s assessment done contact First Call at your social services and ask them to allocate you a social worker (that is if you don't already have one). Again if they say they don't have anyone at the moment insist that it is a legal obligation to have your Carer's assessment done as every Carer is entitled to a Carer's Assessment to assess the needs of the carer this is not the assessment of the caree but for you the carer.

If no schemes are available in your area you should ask for Direct Payments and if there is anyone out there in your local area who offers Direct Payment workers. Local Charities often have a list such as your Carer's centre if you don't have a Carer's centre locally contact your nearest one and they will sign post you to the nearest one for you.

Hope I have not rabbled on too long there and good luck with finding some activites for your son during the summer holidays.

By kristy

Re: help !! need some advice on my 10 yr old son
Sun 15 Jun 2008 10:16

thank you so much for that information i will look into it .i dont know even if im classed as a carer as im his mum . It was impossible to keep sane after the last hoilday and that was only a week its like living with a time bomb and you just dont know when he will explode .Hes being tested for adha etc at the moment hopefully they will be able to come up with some answers. The only other option i have got is too pay a child minder to have him a couple of hours aday to give me some rest bite but this will be expensive and like i said im on income support so money is pretty tight but saying that it would be worth every penny so i can get a break but most child minders have other children so i really dont know if that will work either.

By Tricia

Re: help !! need some advice on my 10 yr old son
Sun 15 Jun 2008 11:58

Kirsty you are your son's main carer therefore you are his carer when he has additional needs. Your not alone in thinking you can't be his carer because you are his mum like many unidentified carers out there don't think they are a carer because the person they care for is a relative or partner. Yet these unidentified carers are the very ones who need additional support during their caring role at some point during their caring role. They just plod along and think it is normal to get exhausted and depressed due to the situation which they are in. Along with many carers identified or unidentified your health ends up suffering in the end may it be phsyically or mentally; due to the many demands which are put onto carers from caring for the person they care for needs to worrying about educational issues for a child to day care survices for an adult to finaical/housing/relationships and the list goes on and on.

I am pleased you have found this website and have asked for advice so you are now able to resolve hopefully without too much trouble.

take care

tricia

By Tricia

Re: help !! need some advice on my 10 yr old son
Sun 15 Jun 2008 12:02

forgot to ask you which area are you in Kirsty as in North Tyneside there is a support group for parents/carers of children with ADHD and ASD at the North Tyneside Carer's centre.

It may be worth contacting your carer's centre to ask if they know of any support groups which you could join or if there are any activities available for a child with ADHD.

Many support groups will welcome you even if you don't have a diagnoses as many of the parent/carers of a child with ADHD or ASD will know it can take many years to get a diagsnoses.

By kristy

Re: help !! need some advice on my 10 yr old son
Sun 15 Jun 2008 13:11

aww thank you so much for all ur help .. im down here in plymouth.

By EL

Re: help !! need some advice on my 10 yr old son
Sun 15 Jun 2008 16:51

Hi kirsty, school holidays are a bugger for me too as my son as Aspergers so the change in routine unsettles him he pushes the boundaries constantly i have to wear myself out trying to wear him out and sod the housework and any other 'normal' everyday living he has to be my main focus.
He will not go to any play schemes due to his social anxiety and lack of ability to meet and mix with new people i have to plan everyday around him and his love of trains so i grab a book and sit at the bloody train station for hours complete with picnic so he can sit and watch the trains and when we get home i bribe him into burning energy on his trampoline anything so long as i keep him occupied Adam used to be very violent also but as he got older he did calm down a bit even though hes only 13 now, when he is unsettled and dissruptive i give him Kalms (with his psych's approval) i also check everything he eats for additives and food colourings as they DO make a big difference to his behavour i know your son is too young to take Kalms and when Adam was i gave him camamile tea and 'night time' tea which did help a little ask your doctor if he/she could recomend anything similar to Kalms, its worth a try good luck pet

By kerry.

Re: help !! need some advice on my 10 yr old son
Sun 15 Jun 2008 22:42

Hi Kirsty
enquire with your local council about summer playschemes, altho youll prob need a carers assessment of need which you can get thru a social worker- you are entitled to this BY LAW!
My boys go to a summer playscheme for 16 days spread over the middle four weeks- mon to thur- 10am til about 2.30pm. It's free to us and it is a real Godsend.

Also try omega fish oils which you can get from holland and barratt in the sales for about a fiver for 500 (normally about £20) my boys take 2 each a day.

Bes tof luck and dont feel bad about being scared of spending so much time with him- its hard enough when theyre 'normal'!!!

By kristy

Re: help !! need some advice on my 10 yr old son
Sun 15 Jun 2008 22:54

thank you all for your great advice .. i already give kyle omega fish oils hes been having 2 for last 18 mths .i will def find out out about play schemes but last time i phoned for help i was asked if i hurt my son i said i hadnt they said they were unable to help me!!! which i was so cross about it was like giving me the green light to hurt him!!. i feel like i m letting my son down big style as he is not living a normal 10 yr old life im just hoping things will get easier and the closer we are getting to the summer hoilday the more im becoming very worried . The advice you guys have given me is great thank you so much x