Discussion Boards I care for...
help at a bad time
- By SueDonnim
-
Tue 3 Jun 2008 02:23
i have cared for my dad for the last 10 yrs, i have also brought up my brother who is now 9, a couple of years ago we were informed we were entiltled to certain benefits, my dad recieved dla, both components at the highest rate, i recieved income support and carers allowance, last monday my dad died suddenly of a heart attack, its the first time in my life i've had to cope with grief.
i sorted dads cremation with a local funeral home,they gave me an estimate of 1800 which i was so shocked at because i chose the cheapest of everything, i knew dad would understand as i had no option, i have no savings and was struggling to get by as it was, now dads gone and as his next of kin i've signed for things including his death certificate and the funeral arrangements, the funeral home have said i will be lucky to get a 1200 funeral payment from the social, i chose the cheapest coffin, no church, no bearers, the hearse and 1 car, and the rest is all their charges, im really scared im not gona be able to pay for my dads funeral, can someone please tell me if the price for a basic cremation of 1800 sounds right, or if any one has had a funeral payment for their mum or dad could you please give me some advice, this is the last thing i want to be thinking about at this time so any help would be appreciated.
Replies
- By EL
-
Re: help at a bad time
Tue 3 Jun 2008 08:05Hiya so sorry you are having such a bad time
have you checked through your dad's private papers? he may have life insurance which will cover the funeral costs, funeral directors usually wait for there fee as they know it does take time for you to get the ins payout. Try not to despair you have a whole load of emotions to deal with all at once which can and will cloud your judgment, what seems to be a 'no way out' situation may have a simple solution, but with what you are going through seems unnatainable. Contact your local bereavement councelling service, they will talk you through the order of things as well as offer help for your grief. Take care
-
By Greebo
-
Re: help at a bad time
Tue 3 Jun 2008 08:36Sorry about your loss.
It's horrible that you've got to deal with all the paperwork and money problems at this time.
Go to the CAB and ask them, they'll probably know the ins & outs more than I do. If they don't know, they should know somebody who does.
That car to follow the hearse? You might be able to get a mincab instead, (or maybe a relative or neighbour could drive you?) and that'd probably be more affordable.
As far as I know, the cost of a funeral should come out of the dead person's estate.
If you and your brother have been living in your dad's house (assuming your dad owned it) and have nowhere else to live, then it's highly unlikely that you will be expected to sell the house to cover funeral costs.
Even if you have to sell the house, the council will have to rehouse you.
As EL said, the funeral directors should be willing to wait, maybe even to take payment by installments.
-
By Michele
-
Re: help at a bad time
Tue 3 Jun 2008 12:23Hi Sue, very sorry for your loss. There is some good advice here and as EL says there are also organisations that can help you deal with this and talk you through the practical issues (like Cruse Bereavement Care). You can have a look at the info / links on our site about this:
take care, Michele
- By Shazzer
-
Re: help at a bad time
Tue 3 Jun 2008 20:09I am so sorry to hear what a sad time you are having. I am going to the Citizens Advice Bureau tomorrow on a different topic but I have been told how good they are. Really hope things improve soon.
Take care xx
- By meg mackenzie
-
Re: help at a bad time
Wed 4 Jun 2008 22:50If you are on benefit and need to be the one to pay for the funeral if there is no estate then you should be entitled to a funeral grant from the Benefits Agency. They can deal direct with the undertakers and the quote you have been given comes within their price range. It is a special form available from the BA office. You are also entitled to claim a community care grant or crisis loan if you need a black coat or shoes for yourself and towards any extra costs you incur.
Sorry to hear of your sad loss, hope you get all the help you are entitled to
Take care
Meg
-
By coby6602
-
Re: help at a bad time
Thu 5 Jun 2008 08:43Hi Sue, so sorry for your loss. We went through this situation a few years ago when my mum died. We had a funeral grant from the benefits agency and it covered everything that was needed including one car and flowers. The funeral director knew we were having a funeral grant and had the forms to fill in there and the payment was made directly to them. The benefits agency website has a page on funeral grants with info on what is included in the payment so have a look as it will put your mind at rest. I hope everything goes okay for you. Take care. Kath