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Advice needed on how to explain to a 3 yr old why her Grandma is different

By Giddiemum
Sun 18 May 2008 20:05

Hi im new to this site. I am a full time carer for my mother in law and have been since her husband died 5 yrs ago.
She is classed as having mental illness but she also has learning difficulties. She has always in the past just been described as "Low IQ" or people who know her call her "Bit different".She has no concept of money, day to day living etc, all she thinks about is herself and she suffers with severe anxiety and panic attacks mainly through a lack of understanding, so something that is straight forward to us obviously isnt to her and then she panics as she does not understand what is being said to her.
In 2003 i got married to her son, August, in the sept of the same yr my husbands father died of cancer and so ever since then we have cared for his mum. In 2005 she had a breakdown and was admitted to a psychiatrict hosp. After that she has been moved to sheltered accom and attends a day centre for learning dis 3 days a week.
Anyway sorry for going on just wanted to explain my situation before i go on....
My daughter who is 3 and a half is now picking up on her grandma doing silly things ie winding my daughter up like hiding her baby doll which is my daughters favourite toy, or when we tell my daughter off grandma laughs and lots of other things. My mother in law just is like a kid she is very childish.
Obviuosly we have to pick my mother in law up on the things that she is doing and now my daughter is asking questions like why does mama wind me up, or why is she silly.

How do i explain to a 3 yr old what is wrong with her grandma. I have had to stop her coming to my house today as yesterday got so bad.

Sorry this is so long winded but i am need of advice on how to deal with this situation.

Many thanks
Sarah x Sad emoticon

Replies

By KenM
Re: Advice needed on how to explain to a 3 yr old why her Grandma is different
Mon 19 May 2008 09:48

Hi Sarah

Try googling " how to explain mental illness to a child"----it comes up with good sites with good advice.
Hope this helps----Ken

By EL
Re: Advice needed on how to explain to a 3 yr old why her Grandma is different
Mon 19 May 2008 12:28

Boy this is a tricky one Blink emoticon hiding the doll could be explained that your M.I.L. is trying to play hide go seek as this worked with my grand son and his trains once, kids are very open to suggestion and can understand in there own little way more than we give them credit for. My son is autistic and till recently my daughter and grandson lived with us, we had all sorts of problems similar to your's. The best thing to do is try and put yourself in your daughters shoes and answer any questions in a child like manner but keeping to the facts and be very brief like nana just wants to play when she's being 'silly' or trying to wind her up, dolly is hiding from you see how long it takes to find her etc etc sorry cant be of more help it's a tough one Yes emoticon good luck and let us know how you get on Smile emoticon

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Discussion Boards I care for... Advice needed on how to explain to a 3 yr old why her Grandma is different