My 13 year old son with Aspergers

Replies

By loopy

Re: My 13 year old son with Aspergers
Mon 7 Apr 2008 18:52

no you dont sound like you are whining!! you are perfectly normal and you are doing a fantastic job by the sound of it. Keep on at the school. Keep on telling them how you feel. No one should be bullied. You shouldnt be bullied just for looking at someone!! As for the banging of doors and shouting well that sounds like normal teen behaviour God knows i could write a book about teenagers!! My youngest is 12 going on 18 and has had a real hissy fit at me tonight! I have an 18 year old son too and he can be a pain in the arse at times too!! My 16 year old girl is severely autistic and has learning difficutlies etc etc. When all 3 of them are 'doing one' i feel like running away!!! Have you got the help of a social worker? if so then maybe she/he can give you some pointers.Oh yeah i have got another 'big kid' too.........the husband... Sometimes i feel like standing in the middle of the lounge and screaming full pelt!! But thats nothing that a bottle of red wine on a friday night wont sort out....
oh wheres that bottle now?! damn its only Tuesday.......
...Lisa

By loopy

Re: My 13 year old son with Aspergers
Mon 7 Apr 2008 18:55

monday even........ :) :)

By kerry.

Re: My 13 year old son with Aspergers
Mon 7 Apr 2008 21:36

haha lisa-- think you already must have drunk it lol if you dunno wot day it is.
everyone knows its thursday today...... ( )

seriously ooops (was that enough 'o's!) your poor boy, bless him, being a teenager is confusing enough without having aspergers to cope with too.
have you read 'the curious incident of the dog in the night time' by marc someone? ever such a good book and maybe your boy could read it too.

how about if you could maybe get the school to do some awareness training- or even just his class- without making it obvious its about your son.
like you could maybe do a slide show about aspergers/autism and the behaviours etc to show his class as a presentation- (appeal to their better natures- im sure some teenagers have better natures even if they are buried very deep lol)
perhaps the autistic society could help u out there- they must have info to pass on the kids via school etc, plus they should have info on puberty too i would think.

sounds like you are at least keeping on top as much as poss and are very aware of wots going on, so well done you!

best of luck

By moonstar

Re: My 13 year old son with Aspergers
Mon 7 Apr 2008 23:04

Hi

I have an 11 year old son with ASD. He used to attend mainstream section of his school, but after 3 and a half years of misery transferred to their Moderate Learning Difficulties Unit. He was also bullied - mainly by one boy in his class, who knew my son didnt know how to stand up for himself. Whenever I went to the school, I was told that I was being over sensitive and that my son needed to toughen up!

His class in the Unit are all very protective of each other when they are together, so he knows nothing bad happens there. The only problem is when he has to go back to his mainstream class and again is near the boy who has spent 7 years bullying him. Fortunately, most of the staff now know to take my son seriously, if he tells them something is happening.

I think that you might find the National Autistic Society helpful

www.autism.org.uk

They have a helpline through which you can access all types of services : 0845 070 4004

They also produce a wide range of information booklets, which you can order through them. They also run courses and seminars which are for parents/carers as well as professionals.

I attended one of the NAS one day seminars in November last year on adolesence, hormones and puberty - very informative, but also a bit scary!!! Still, at least gave an idea of what to expect!!

The NAS has regional groups, and they will give you details of your local one, I would also ask if they know of any social skills groups which are local to you. It is one of the main problems children with ASD/Aspergers face - they dont know how to act with other people - my son says exactly what he thinks, which can be embarrassing!!

Blaming the bullying partly on your son sounds like a cop-out by the school. Your son cannot help doing this, and the school should make an effort to explain this to anyone who says he caused it by staring at them!

My son attended a social skills group in school run by a Speech and Language Therapist - they explain the use of facial expression, use of eye contact, personal space, etc. It may be worth asking the school if there is any access to speech and language therapy.

Have you discussed your sons problems with the SENCO at school?

It may also be worth speaking to your GP regarding your sons increased rituals, etc, they may be able to refer for some Psychological help.

Dont know if any of this has been of any use, hope it has. Just hope havent waffled on too much!!!

Just hang on in there! You sound as if you are doing a great job for your son

Take care

By oooops

Re: My 13 year old son with Aspergers
Tue 8 Apr 2008 11:36

Yes there were a few too many o's in the oops!

Wow I wish I'd found this site earlier and thanks all so much for taking the time to reply, It's really helped and have to say touched me that you've all bothered! A glass of wine or two does too, agreed!!

From what you've all said I don't think I've looked into the help that's out there as much as I should. Don;t know why I haven't, think you get caught on a tread mill sometimes, and I can forget what day it is without any wine too! I'm going to take all the advice you've given and look into the workshops, talk to my GP and keep hammering at the school as yes I think it is a cop out and they see me as a pain in the backside. Nice to see someone else write that though, makes me feel I'm on sort of the right track!

Good to know too that sometimes some of you feel like running away or screaming, as I do and then feel really guilty, so at least I know it's just being human.

Thanks again for the best wishes, advice and just generally making me feel better!

Sarah

By happyasadeadcat

Re: My 13 year old son with Aspergers
Tue 8 Apr 2008 13:00

My son with AS suffered most at school from year 8-9, this was mainly due to being bullied by one boy who completely dominated him and encouraged him to misbehave. The school would not listen to me but I found one teacher who had a soft spot for my son and I pleaded with her to move the boy to another class and she did. My son was then welcomed back into his gang from junior school and they really looked after him (but in a nice way). I had to be a pain in the bum with the school and I think my name was mud for a while but it was worth it in the end.
My son is now 21 and such a credit to himself, working full time,recently promoted and happy with who he is. He also discovered his passion for music at the age of 14 which gave him an outlet for his emotions and a social life.
I would never have believed that he would be this successful in his adult life and am amazed at how much he has learnt about people through work (you won't be surprised to hear that his employers love his honesty)!!
I really hope things work out for you and your son, just don't be afraid to stand up for his rights as us mums know our kids better than anyone else.

By loopy

Re: My 13 year old son with Aspergers
Tue 8 Apr 2008 18:43

i am glad that we have made you feel better. I sometimes think that it really helps to tell other people how you are feeling and to generally let off some steam. Its nice to know that there are other people out there with the same sort of problems and it really does help to discuss them and let everything out. So, you are not moaning when you post things and you are only human when you feel like kicking everything up in the air (which is everyday in my case...... ) I will be in the chat room on friday night if you want to come and have a chat.
Lisa

By loopy

Re: My 13 year old son with Aspergers
Tue 8 Apr 2008 18:45

and if you get a rare hour in the day, watch jeremy kyle and you may just find yourself shouting at the people on there to come and have your problems for a day.... Some of them a such a bunch of t***..........

By oooops

Re: My 13 year old son with Aspergers
Wed 9 Apr 2008 13:20

Thanks happyasadeadcat and good to know its worked out for your son, there is hope! And Lisa cheers too and everyone else again. MAde an appointment with my GP as thinking CBT might be a good way to go. I'll keep moaning then as yes good to let off steam! Don't get alot of chance at night with dreaded homework arggghhh, but I'll be sure to look in on Friday even just to see what you write when you've had your red wine! Is good to know you're not on your own! Jeremy Kyle, watched that on my days off, bunch of ....... agreed!

By EL

Re: My 13 year old son with Aspergers
Wed 9 Apr 2008 22:11

happyasadeadcat did i spot your user name on freecycle?