Discussion Boards I care for... POWER OF ATTORNEY

POWER OF ATTORNEY

By lizzie_T: Sun 6 Apr 2008 21:57
Can someone give me some words of comfort? my husband is in hospital. He is in hospital because I sent him to a nursing home when our attic tank overflowed and ruined the house and we have to locate while the work is done. Our GP sent his notes, the DN's signed the form. He has never had a mental illness. It was just respite. paid for by the house insurers. After a few days they accused us of lying on the form saying he was mentally ill and they could not cope with him. We could not understand it but they failed to contact our doctor and when my daughter went to visit and suggested he had an infection which was making him act out of character they said they got a doctor in who said he did not. They said they took bloods but there were no needlemarks. We know he was prescribed a psychotic drug. He was booked in for 6 weeks. When I was given an ultimatum that I collect him or they put him 'in a mental hospital' my daughter collected him. He had sever chest infections and pus running from his eyes. The emergency doctor was horrified as was the paramedic who came too.They put him on antibiotics,our doctor visited twice with increased antibiotics but he had to go into hospital. He was admitted to the home on 14th Feb, sent home on 23rd admitted to hospital on 29. he is still there. He has not received the best of care. I have made two stays of 24/7. They object to my wheelchair. We complained that they were giving him only water drip. He was denied arthritis medication and psteoporosis drugs - he is riddled with arthritis/rheumatism and has had two spinal surgeries in the past. He was on a drip which did nothing and injections of antibiotics. When we asked for nourishment he was put on a naso-gastric tube. Last week he pulled it out during the night and the night nurse, when I woke up said he would replace it but he did not. The next day, in the afternoon a doctor came who said she was a neurologist and that she had increased his madopar - I did not know, was surprised because they said he did not have Parkinsons after all a few years ago. He is a loving and uncomplaining man, which is really his undoing. She examined him and said the extra medication had made no difference - well it did not sink in until after she went, but he had had no medication - or food - at all since the previous day and no-one had attempted to replace the tube! They had actually written the drugs down when they had not been given because they had n ot replaced the tube! This observation led to my being told that my wheelchair was not acceptable at his bedside. I was told I could visit him, but my health is such that I cannot make the daily trips. When the doctor called me in when his condition worsened it was on condition that I be allowed to stay because there were no B&B places available.
I left on Friday. Today I received a telephone call from the doctor asking my permission to operate to insert a tube into his stomach and out of the chest wall for feeding because he pulled the tube out and they are not prepared to keep putting it back. The only one who says he cannot swallow is the speech therapist on one vist to my knowledge when he had pneumonia - that being a reason for not swallowing. Now I have seen him swallow - he swallows the gunk he cannot spit out! There is no evidence that he cannot swallow. I HAVE REFUSED MY PERMISSION TO CARRY OUT THIS PROCEEDURE, I DO NOT BELIEVE HE NEEDS IT WITHOUT PROPER TESTS. I THINK HE SHOULD BE ON A GASTRO-INTESTINAL SURGICAL WARD IF THEY DO AND NOT A GERIATRIC WARD AND I KNOW HE WOULD NOT AGREE. He is not mentally retarded. He is in his right mind but is afraid of them. He has conveyed as much to me.
NOW MY DAUGHTER HAS NOW TOLD ME THAT THEY INTEND TO CHALLENGE MY POWER OF ATTORNEY IN COURT AND ARE TRYING TO INSIST ON A PAINFUL SURGICAL PROCEDURE - AN ANAESTHETIC WITH HIS CHEST IS OUT OF THE QUESTION - WITHOUT ANY EVIDENCE THAT HE REALLY NEEDS IT AND DESPITE THE FACT THAT THE DOCTOR TOLD ME HE WOULD WAIT FOR FURTHER TESTS. HE IS 86.
I am distraught because I cannot get hold of my solicitor to see if he ever registered the power of attorney and if it covers medical matters.

Replies

By Desperado

Re: POWER OF ATTORNEY
Tue 8 Apr 2008 15:47

Hi Lizzie t
I'm afraid i don't have any answers for you - just wanted to give you a hug as you appear to have the whole world on your shoulders. It is a dreadful state of affairs. Perhaps insisting on seeing a consultant or even your MP would help your situation. Try phoning 0845 330 2900 as they may be able to advise whether your power of attorney was registered with the Public guardian.
(website www.publicguardian.co.uk)

I do hope you can get things sorted out as you sound at the end of your tether.

Take care LOL

By marie66

Re: POWER OF ATTORNEY
Wed 9 Apr 2008 12:18

Aw Lizzie (((Hugs))) your way,
We had issues with care while my husband was in an NHS General Hospital last year.

In our case my husband had pneumonia and this pushed his Epilepsy off the scale!

We were not listened too, they did not offer an acceptable level of care so we contacted Epilepsy Scotland who intervened and mediated on our behalf.

Is there an organisation similar who could help you?

Alternatively contact your MP who can help with NHS issues or the Hospitals Complaints section or Hospital base social worker, failing that opt for Age Concern as I'm sure someone in their organisation will have come up with this type of issue before.

Good Luck and stay strong as it's a difficult path!

Marie x

By lizzie_T: Re: POWER OF ATTORNEY
Wed 9 Apr 2008 13:52
I am so moved by your replies. I am indeed at the end of my tether and my health has plummeted downwards. I actually have five pages of prescription repeats for my own condition and God only knows what I will do when they take his pension and AA away because he is in there longer than was thought. I have just now received a telephone call from the hospital doctor asking me to come to a meeting tomorrow. Present will be our GP, who is wonderful, the Consultant Geronologist, ward staff and therapists, because I did coplain to the hospital and sent copies to the dept of health. I have agreed to go of course. I am quite sure, since they admit he has no demential or mental illness (if this goes on though I will) and if they really took the time to ask him - he has speech problem these last few years unconnection with his pneumonia - which they say is cured. That is all.The infections left him weak and unable to stand. If he has not mental incapacity why should a court grant them permission to go ahead with an op which can only save them time. My biggest worry is that he is on a geriatric ward and if they do op he should be on a gastro-enterology ward with experienced nurses, not nursing assistants. I am really distraught. I know it is important to get nourishment in him - I complained previously when they gave him intravenous fluids and admitted they had no nutrients in them.They also did not give him his arthritis and osteoporosis drugs despite have two spine operations some years ago. I have everything to lose and nothing to gain if he dies. We have no life assurance, and his pension will reduce for me, yet I cannot bear them to keep him alive at 86 if this procedure is going to be painful. With it I feel he will never come home again. I am absolutely heartbroken. They look at me as if I am lying when I say that this wonderful man has never raised his voice or hand to me, has been loving gentle and kind. Our marriage has been perfect in every way. He was my carer when I contracted GBS and now have the chronic kind with all the extras. I am younger by 19 yrs but it has never seemed so at all. I love him so much. He never complains, never calls out like the other patients. I am honestly lost without him.
After tomorrow's meeting I will, if neccessary, follow the very good advice you have given me.
Thank you

By kerry.

Re: POWER OF ATTORNEY
Wed 9 Apr 2008 18:26

Lizzie
I am absolutel apalled at the treatment received by you and your Husband, my mouth dropped further with each sentence.
I'm sorry I cannot advise as I have no experience of this but I will say that if it was me i would beging shouting very very loud about the apalling and inhumane treatment.
How DARE they do this? How DARE they object to your wheelchair.
What a bunch of big fat bullies.
Now I dont know how old you are but you say your partner is 86(?) so I would imagine you've lived thru some hard times?
pull on all your resources now and let rip with this bunch of bullying, ignorant and bombastic imbeciles.

take your daughter to the meeting or anyone else you can think of to stand up for you and him.
Dont let them intimidate you (imagine them all naked!) as they dont know it all like they want you to think.

God Bless you lizzie and I hope it goes ok for you all.

By lizzie_T: Re: POWER OF ATTORNEY
Wed 9 Apr 2008 18:55
Thank you Kerry for adding your wishes to the others. I have tried to find people but because they only arranged it for today it is difficult. I have tried so hard to stick up for him. I am 67 and we have been married for 21 years. Yes, there have been bad moments due to health but they never affected our marriage - he could actually get rid of headaches!! I am so very tired and they know it - after all they have my records too and know my disabilities. I used to nurse and God forbid anyone who even raised their voice yet alone shout and actually strike a visitor. What also worries me is what happened to their badges? There were nurses in white uniforms with trimming in blue with badges giving their names and underneath ''Registered Nurse'' Well these were the nurses who came round emptying catheters, changing beds - shouting at the poor old things who wet them so we could all hear, washing faces etc, but they could not attend to the drip if the warning went off or change it or give medication and asked for help with things, yet apart from an obvious dk blue dress, there was no discernable difference in the uniforms of the ones who did the drip things etc. I never said anything at all, though I did tell the visitors of the man opposite who was shouted at - mainly because he had never been in hospital before and they did not yet know what was wrong with him and since his children were much the same age as mine I do not think he was all that old. I have no idea why but one day those badges all disappeared and I did not know the name of anyone. Whether they overheard my daughter telling me to take the names of those who shouted I do not know. One other thing on that Geriatric ward: telephones and TV's. On other wards the nurses have a telephone whereon relatives can ring and speak to the patient - besides the patientline that is. Also, with patientline it is possible to watch TV if you want. On this ward there are no patientline phones or TV, Neither is there a telephone which relatives can ring. There is only a payphone at the end of the ward with no number so it will not take incoming - understandable with the constant ringing. I was told that ''on this ward we do not need them''. That is what upset me as much as anything, because many elderly people want those things, as can be seen by the number of patients who have had their tellies brought in for them. I brought a 5" portable TV elec/batteries and this horrid nurse said only patients could watch TV and she pulled the socket out of the wall and I put it back. She said that if George wasn't watching it I could not either and I was very upset. When she saw it could be used with batteries she was really mad! I bought it years ago, don't use it often but the receoption up there was perfect, as it has a radio type arial you pull out!
If this is what happens accros the bed of very ill frightened elderly people then they have a cheek to put posters up saying how caring they are and a leaflet board with ''elder Abuse'' headings.
I doubt very much whether I will be able to stop them doing what they like. I just hope he does not suffer.

By EL: Re: POWER OF ATTORNEY
Wed 9 Apr 2008 22:08
Im furious and very upset at everything you have told us, i hope to god you get the help you need. Stick to your guns and try not to show any weakness or they will walk all over you. Please let us know how things go, hugs and kisses to you both. Elaine xx

By kerry.

Re: POWER OF ATTORNEY
Wed 9 Apr 2008 22:36

awww lizzie,
what about writing to your chief medical officer? and tell that person that you will also be copying the letter to the minister for education too!
Keep copies of everything.
write to your MP and also go to local paper- they hate bad publicity!
I cannot believe that in this day and age they can be so agist as to whether or not elderly want to watch TV!
how stereotypically judgemental and a vistorian attitude-
bit like the old institutions full of learning disabled who were "uneducable" and locked up forever.
How bloody dare they assume these things and get away with it?
get writing Lizzie.
it might not help for the immediate future but at least they may realise you aint taking it lying down and that you aint gonna be messed with.

kerry

By lizzie_T: Re: POWER OF ATTORNEY
Thu 10 Apr 2008 02:57
Thank you all so much. It is my protesting and complaining which they do not like - hense the abuse of me, physically and verbally.
What has begun to loom large in my mind which I did not think of before, but there has been a campaign to ensure the elderly have a good diet in hospitals and care homes because the press found that the elderly were leaving hospital starving.
Now they never have enough staff on these wards anyway, but it takes a long time to feed someone. Strangely I have never had to help George eat. That being the case and the Government directive, are we looking at the start of a way of ensuring nutrition by insertin gastostomy tubes to the outside and just let it drip in from a bottle while the staff get on with other things? If that is the case and it is allowed to develop, that is OUR future and YOUR PARENTS, GRANDPARENTS. There are scans they can do. Can you imagine a future whereby all the geriatric wards are full of people either lying sitting or walking about with the drip poll?

By SarahD: Re: POWER OF ATTORNEY
Thu 10 Apr 2008 10:27
Lizzie If you go to our Map of carers centres www.princessroyaltrust.org.uk you can find your nearest carers centre who will be able to offer you support and advice

By EL: Re: POWER OF ATTORNEY
Thu 10 Apr 2008 10:50
When my mum was in hospital she was left to rot on a drip, my sister and i fed her for a week before we told the nursing staff, she would have most definitely died of starvation had we not took over. We also took orders of fish n chips off other patients in her ward. We saw first hand how the elderly were ignored, this is otherwise called neglect, and abuse, one lady had fallen out of bed and was on the cold floor a good 10 mins before she was seen too, she was black and blue all over her face. in spite of the other patients 'buzzin' for help. Rotten sods need stringing up, now before anyone takes offence at my comments...... The example i gave is fact not hearsay. The elderly all too often get brushed aside its about bloody time the powers that be got off there fat bums and did something about it.

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