Don't do it

Replies

By moonstar

Re: Don't do it
Wed 26 Mar 2008 00:58

Hi Jimmy

Was talking to you in chat earlier.

Please don't be discouraged. I'm sure that your mum appreciates everything you do for her.

You are doing a wonderful thing becoming her carer. There are bad times but there are also times when it is all worthwhile.

Just remember that there are lots of us about.

Take care of yourself and your mum

By Tricia

Re: Don't do it
Wed 26 Mar 2008 09:18

Hello James

I felt I was faced with the complete opposite being made to feel that I had to look after my parents because I was already looking after my youngest son who has additional needs.

BUT and that is a huge big BUT looking back it was a privilege to look after them. Yes, hard work and exhuasting along with the isolation which comes with the caring role life. But nothing could ever take away the memories which I have of being able to spend time with my parents as I cared for them and have quality time with them in their older years in life.

Also as you know you your Mum better than anyone else and your able to help her through this phase in her life. Support workers come and go through a person with a disability life but a relative is always there and that gives the person your caring for stability and comfort to know that they will always have you there for them.

So in a nut shell yes hard days ahead but rewards are priceless which is just as well as we are under paid, under valued by society but what we do have is a very special bonding with the person who we care for and no one can take that away from you!

Tricia

By Steffi

Re: Don't do it
Wed 26 Mar 2008 22:08

Hi, what a good job you are doing. I have a huge dilemma. I look after my ex- yes ex-husband who is mentally ill and also my 82 year old physically disabled mum. It is very tiring and also stressfull, I am pulled both ways and dont get any me time, but it is also very rewarding. Today my mum has had delivered a riser recliner chair which will help her and my neck muscles a lot and the pleasure she got from it was unimaginable. It may be the early days in your caring schedule, and you may often be very lonely, as we all are but we are all rooting for you and indeed each other.All is quiet now and I am just having a glass of wine, well infact maybe two, who knows? Tomorrow is another day, keep up the good work, it is very rwarding! Love me Steffi x x x

By Mia

Re: Don't do it
Thu 27 Mar 2008 00:09

Hi,
I have been caring for my mother, who has Alzheimers, for the past ten years. I had the same experience. Everyone told me not to care for her, and I used to get very angry about it. I still get a few who nag me about putting her into a home. They seem to think they're helping, but in fact, they make me feel more stressed, and irritated.

Some of those people are relatives who have taken no part in helping the situation. Instead of lecturing me, it would be nice if any of them ever tried to be supportive instead.

Things do worsen over time, and more and more it becomes a very isolating and exhausting job, so it's not easy. However, I love my mother and just couldn't have abandoned her when she needed me most.

Best wishes to you, and I think that you must do what your heart tells you to do.
mia

By Mia

Re: Don't do it
Thu 27 Mar 2008 04:24

Hi again,
Perhaps this might be helpful depending on how advanced your mother's Alzheimers is. I have done a bit of research re. vitamin B12, and read that many doctors believe that dementia may be caused by B12 deficiency. I put my mother on high doses ie up to 500mcg of sublingual B12 tablets per day, and there was a vast improvement in her general well being.

If someone already has dementia in the very early stages B12 can stop the progression. If discovered at the first signs of confusion it can prevent dementia from ever developing.

Not all doctors would agree, but I've tried it and believe that if I had given my mother B12 ten years ago, that she might not have Alzheimers now.

Antacid stomach pills also prevent B12 from being absorbed from food. Also nitrous oxide, when used as an anaesthetic during operations, depletes any B12 stores, which is often why aged people (whose stores of B12 are already low) often show the first signs of confusion after an operation. As far as I have discovered, few doctors test for B12 deficiency, and so the prognosis is usually dementia.

B12 is not toxic so the high dose should cause no problems. I gave my mother 300mcg per day, and she 'grew' inches. She was walking bent almost double beforehand. B12 is necessary for the nerve sheaves in the spine, and after giving my mother B12 daily, she straightened up.

I told my doctor what I was doing, and there was so much improvement in my mother, that the doctor said to me 'keep doing what you're doing.'

Best wishes,
mia

By jimmytom

Re: Don't do it
Thu 27 Mar 2008 21:51

Thank you all for taking the time to reply and your understanding. It's helping.

My first full week is over and I've loved it.

Jimmy xxx