I care for my husband but...........................

Replies

By abracadabra

Re: I care for my husband but...........................
Mon 21 Jan 2008 20:55

welcome to the site. let me assure you everyone here has experienced what you are feeling and the isolation of it all. if you can go into the chatroom where we moan but also have lots of laughs. if you have trouble just post here again. you will be very welcome x

By tracyG

Re: I care for my husband but...........................
Mon 21 Jan 2008 22:18

Hi,

Im tracyg I'm new to this sort of thing too.
My situation is different to yours, but yes I have days when I'm alone in the bathroom look at myself in the mirror and just let out a big cry, sometimes i even wake up crying.

Sometimes, I'm so tired that i am clumbsy and might bang into things, and i then cry like a child, and really i know its because i'm drained , I'm tired and i want someone to sweep me into their arms and hold me a great big hug, and tell me everythings going to be alright.

I then realise there is only myself that can say that to me, so i eventually pick myself up and start all over again, getting on with life just how it is.

Don't get down, we all do but try to keep a smile.

By majajo

Re: I care for my husband but...........................
Tue 22 Jan 2008 12:01

Hi abracadabra & tracyG,
thankyou for your replies and word's of encouragement.
I am feeling positive today !!!!!!!!!!
I guess my biggest problem is being sooooooo tired.
I think thing's wouldn't seem half as bad if I wasn't so tired.
I feel a bit of a fraud when I read your's and other peoples stories.
Anyway, thankyou for your support and I hope I can do the same for you at some point.
majajo

By carnation21

Re: I care for my husband but...........................
Wed 23 Jan 2008 19:12

Hi majajo, i know where you're coming from. I get upset when I think about how my husband was six years ago when we first met and now he's so frail. His friends haven't bothered with him for the last couple of years - just abandoned him. He wouldn't have down it to them!!!!!! It makes me so angry!

By ValerieN

Re: I care for my husband but...........................
Wed 23 Jan 2008 20:57

Hi Majajo
I know how you feel. I looked after my husband too and watched as he became weaker and weaker. But after he died a year ago I look back on that time and thank God that I was able to look after him. He knew to the day he died that I loved him. Yes, like you I would lock myself away and cry my eyes out in frustration and the whole unfairness of it all. Now I can look back to the better years that we shared. We are all here to lend you a shoulder. Take care.

By pam54

Re: I care for my husband but...........................
Sat 9 Feb 2008 09:09

I have only just found "carers. org" and have read the posts.
I care for my husband,and have done so since 1997, he has sooo many illnesses I thought he had his share, then last Monday he had a massive Stroke, I thought i'd have one too !! .since then i've done nothing but cry. of course hes in the hosp, but its heartbreaking to see him like a vegetable,
i hope you dont mind me telling you, Pam54

By majajo

Re: I care for my husband but...........................
Mon 11 Feb 2008 15:00

Hi Pam54,
I'm sorry for my late response to your post.
We've been enjoying the sunny weekend
I'm so sorry about the problem's you are facing at this time.
I know how you feel.
I don't really know much about stroke victims so I can't advise you there, all I can offer you is a shoulder.
It's not much I know but please feel free to mail me anytime your fed up.
It sound's to me like your really down and you could do with 'time out'.
Is your husband still in hospital ?.
Do you have any children who can visit him one evening so you can be 'abscent' and go for a meal with a friend?.
Maybe this is the wrong advice, I don't know, at the end of the day, you need a break.
I wish I could say something more positive.
Keep your chin up,
Mandy / majajo

By roggles

Re: I care for my husband but...........................
Mon 11 Feb 2008 19:27

Hi Majajo
Let me start by asking how are YOU, my wife had a stroke 5 years ago i now look after her and my parents and yes every time i go out people go through the list depending on whos friend they where " hows your dad/mum/wife" so i smile and nod.
Its as if i dont excist or that if they ask how i am i might tell them, " im lonely, tired, stressed, broke, and frustrated.
People say get yourself out for a drink, or take yourself off on a break even if i get someone to sit in with san i feel guilty i long to get out camping or walking but theres no chance, i cant give you any advice hun as i dont know what to do about it myself, but next time your in the bath close your eyes you will hear me crying too.

By majajo

Re: I care for my husband but...........................
Mon 11 Feb 2008 19:53

Thanks for that roggles,
I guess the day I started this topic I was really down.
I know we all have our down day's.
I understand completely about 'losing yourself', you become a non entity or it feels that way.
I took my hubby to the physio' last week and even though I was there, taking off his shoes and socks and dressings, I wasn't even addressed.
Yes, it is damned frustrating, I sometimes feel like saying 'hello', I'm here too.
Maybe its my fault because I'm not very assertive but people can be so damned rude!
There!

My thought's are with you and your family roggles,
take care.