Husband with Multiple Sclerosis

Replies

By mag

Re: Husband with Multiple Sclerosis
Tue 1 Jan 2008 11:10

Dear Jorum

I have just read your other post and now this one. I care for my husband (not the same health problems) and I know how isolating it is. I do not know very much about MS but there are others on this site who do and I am sure they will have some helpful suggestions for you.

You do not mention how old your daughter is but you being piggie in the middle trying to keep the peace adds stress to the situation too. Does your daughter feel excluded by the fact that your husband needs so much attention? Not saying she is neglected of course, but maybe used to more of your time and attention than is possible now.

On your other post you say that you can hardly get to use computer as hubby wants your attention all the time. I hope this does not sound hard, but does he really need your presence constantly? Could you explain to him that some of his needs can wait a wee while as you need to do something else.

I know from my own experience that it's so easy to want to give the best possible care to our loved ones but remember that best possible care depends on your own health and wellbeing.

I have found many friendly people on this site and hope that you will too. It helps to know that others, no matter how different the details of their caring role, have much in common too. There is also the Chat Room - I invite you to come in for a chat - best time approx 7.30 pm onwards. People pop in and out any time as caring duties allow - it lifts the spirits to talk with others who understand the life of a Carer.

A warm welcome to you - Mag

By jorum

Re: Husband with Multiple Sclerosis
Wed 2 Jan 2008 05:09

Hi Mag,

Yeah, my daughter is 19, but she isn't home that much anyway, she has 3 jobs and a course she is doing, I try to make some time to spend with her and her alone, I try to get someone in to look after my husband so I can do that. I don't see her much and she says the time we spend together she enjoys.

She has told me that she doesn't like him much anymore because of the stress I am going through, she told me that on New Years Eve to have a few drinks and relax, which is what I did, but I didn't go too far with that, as I had to put him to bed, and he is a full hoist and paralysed from the neck down.

Him wanting my presence all the time is really unnecessary as I am in the same room and he and he calls out for things he wants me to do. I can't sit on the computer for very long because it stresses me out, I feel this is my time out away from him. He calls out for little things all the time, not much, but the constant calling out drives me nuts.

I have explained to him that I need time out and he says he understands, but really he doesn't give me that time even though he thinks he understands for that time out.

Well there is another obstacle with us is that I have Bipolar and sometimes I find it really hard then as I go in to deep lows and trying to care for him is so hard at that time.

I like to give him the best care that I can as I love him dearly and the thing is that I brought him home from the Nursing Home about 3 months ago and we have only been married for 18 months, and I new his condition at that time and I know what I am in for, so Yeah I do want to give him the best care that I can possibly give.

I have tried the chat room a couple of times but have found nobody in there, I will keep persisting though and will not give up. Even though you don't understand about the MS, It does help me to talk to someone and get things off my chest otherwise he and I will have arguments.

Thank you for replying to my post and I appreciate your time thank you