Discussion Boards I care for...
Chronic Fatigue Syndrome / M.E & CHILDREN
- By Mark Hall
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Thu 13 Dec 2007 02:37
Hi,
Just saying hello. Had a few drinks after a very stressful and busy day.
How can you ask a 12 year old kid to help out in the house when her mother is completely bedridden and I work full time on a 2 tier shift system at work?
I'm coming home stressed after work at 11pm to find the house a pigsty after asking her to do the dishes to find they are not done. I'm sorry for not understanding 12 year olds.
Replies
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By Greebo
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Re: Chronic Fatigue Syndrome / M.E & CHILDREN
Thu 13 Dec 2007 13:52Hello Mark,
I'm guessing that you realise you messed up big time on this, hence the sad face? Nobody's perfect, but you need to do better. IMHO you're v stressed or you'd have a better sense of proportion. Dirty dishes etc don't make the entire house a pigsty.A few things:
Give yourself a pat on the back for having almost managed this long - you're carrying a bigger load than anyone should. You can't do it by yourself, and you mustn't. You're already becoming somebody you don't like.Children aren't known for being logical or rational late at night - hormonal 12 year old girls maybe even less so. Even if you were sober, you picked a bad time to discuss chores. I hope you at least (without raising your voice) gave her a chance to explain why it hadn't been done? You were 12 once - an angry adult can look HUGE & frightening to a 12 year old.
Avoid drinking as a coping mechanism or stress reliever, it can v easily go over the edge into addiction. Having "a few drinks" (ie. not stopping at 2 units max a session), when you're responsible for a child and a bedbound wife will just make you less able to handle anything which crops up.
I hope your wife's getting DLA, because I'd expect you to apply for it (use the nearest CAB or Disability Rights Centre - help can be given over the phone) and keep appealing and applying again until she gets it.
If she's getting DLA (including at least middle rate care), then why are you working full time? Who's looking after her during the day? How do you manage to pay for prescriptions etc? In a lot of cases, where one person is getting DLA, their partner or spouse is much better off claiming Income support + Carers Allowance + Housing Benefit + Council Tax Benefit and getting all the other things this passports you onto (including free prescriptions). On paper it can look pretty bad, but balance it against less stress, less exhaustion....
ME/CFS website for you www.foggyfriends.org The board closes over christmas, so go there and register asap, before you get too tired & stressed - what goes on FF stays on FF.