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hi I recently joined this site really need some Help and Advice
- By chi11ed
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Sat 24 Nov 2007 18:11
I have recently joined as im on the brink of desparation, I have been caring for my mum for the last 5 years over the last 9 years whilst living in Cumbria me and my family have been subject to Criminal Damage beyond all proportions, damage to cars, Bricks thrown through the window at 4 & 5 in the morning, threats of shotguns and physical harm. Not only this since the Police Haven't done a thing to help. Me & my father whom now needs caring for wrote to the Cheif Constabule and after over 12mths still have received no reply. I am so worried now as we cannot afford insurance and cannot afford to replace to windows and are boarded up. What with unable to go out to work as my mother needs constant care and is doubly incontinant as needs supervising 24/7 most days. This year was the first year when my mum has had some sort of restbite care after a 'kind' person of our village reported me to the D'SS' for abusing my mother, and they came out hammering on the door demaning to see me mum and all reports were totally groundless. I am so worried now as my mothers debts have acculilated and I do not were to turn as she has a County Court Order against her for debt.. the debts are pilling up and I'm totally at my wits end. I have wrote to the newspapers with regards to this...but no-one cares let alone the Police... does a person have to commit suicide before anyone cares.... any help would be appericaite ...as I'm at an all time low....
Replies
- By ozzy
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Re: hi I recently joined this site really need some Help and Advice
Sun 25 Nov 2007 01:11im new here my self and im sorry to here about all your problems ,i think you should go to the doctors first and get some help if your having thoughts like that and are really low ,( i suffer from depression my self and know how it feels)
is there no one else in your family that can help.
write to the police again and complain
do es your mum go to day care,my partners mum goes 3 times a week we would nt be able to cope with out it
have u tryed the citizens advice bureau to help u with the debts we used them about a year ago and they were really helpful
- By morello
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Re: hi I recently joined this site really need some Help and Advice
Sun 25 Nov 2007 11:33Go to your GP as this is the first point of help for you, depression goes hand in hand with caring and its connected problems, although social services fail to or decide they dont want to notice. Look on-line for your local carers organisation. If their isnt one locally for this site, most areas have their own and somebody will come out and talk to you about all of these problems. The CAB is also excellent and will help you all they can. You can find their local office on-line or in the telephone book.
I have been as low as you and felt suicidal, it is a natural answer when we feel this bad. But the problems are still there and your loved ones would never get over it.
Take one minute at a time, make a list of people to contact and remember dont look back or ahead, just live for this moment and things will eventually sort themselves out.
Carers know all about poverty and debt, I doubt there are many of us who havent been in similar situations, who havent felt like sleeping and never waking, but it passes and it will get better. Life as a carer is a constant struggle, we live below the bread line and that in itself is enough to make us desperate and ill. I hope this has helped you a little. Please take care of yourself.
Mo
- By Bagheera1
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Re: hi I recently joined this site really need some Help and Advice
Sun 25 Nov 2007 14:31Sun 25/11@1430
Response to chi11ed and anyone else reading this
I really sympathise - we also went through a horrendous Criminal Damage & daily assaults period a few years ago.
I thought we'd put all that behind us, BUT ...........How do I respond when the person I've been caring for since she became seriously ill over 6 years ago [together since 1980, married since 1986] turns around and says it's over ...............
- By morello
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Re: hi I recently joined this site really need some Help and Advice
Sun 25 Nov 2007 15:47Maybe she is trying to save your feelings and the caring. She may be depressed about her condition and this is so difficult for you. Could you not get someone close to talk to her and see if they can find out why. You must be heartbroken, I feel for you, and I wish you all the best and hope that things can be sorted out. I feel that you must be wondering why you have wasted all that time, but remember that no time helping another is ever wasted.All the best I will be thinking of you
Mo
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