My dad

Replies

By CHERYL THE PERIL

Re: My dad
Wed 30 Aug 2006 14:57

Hi Orange
You will always find some one to listen on here. We are all pretty much in the same boat. So we understand and don't judge.
It sounds like your having a tough time, it's a lot for you to cope with specially so soon after your dying, to be going through it all again.
Could social services help you they are suppose to provide help and support for carers too.
Take Care Regards Cheryl

By Raine

Re: My dad
Wed 30 Aug 2006 18:48

Hello Orange
Sometimes I think I do too much for my dad . He is 87 yrs young, he doesnt have a life of his own so it is my life that he lives. The rest of the family do not want to know, I think the problem is you need a break. Last year he went to stay with my sister and I missed him a lot. My husband is away. I cant go out to work. Dad has short term memory loss so its a bit like talking to the wall sometimes. I hope I dont sound too moaning Minny. I am 57 life seems to be going by just careing for someone. I am studying at home but sometimes cant get up enthusiasm. All the time , you are aware that they are there .( If you know what I mean,)
There are a lot of us out here, I am glad i found the site at least I can see others are caring for elderley parent like you. and me

By Orange

Re: My dad
Thu 31 Aug 2006 11:47

Hi Cheryl the Peril

Thankyou for taking the time to reply to my moaning. I've suggested trying to get social services involved with my dad, but he won't have it. I also suggested trying to get meals on wheels for the weekends more to give myself a break from cooking but again he won't hear of it. Yesterday was a bad day that only really got worse. I just can't seem to see a light at the end of the tunnel that isn't a train! Still life goes on doesn't it. Thanks for listening.

By Orange

Re: My dad
Thu 31 Aug 2006 11:53

Hi Raine, Thankyou for taking the time for replying to my moaning. I really admire you for studying at home. I'm sure its difficult when your mind is elsewhere, but stick at it. I too feel I need a break but he won't go anywhere. I've suggested he stays with my sister for a while, but he won't. He can be quite stubborn at times (quite a few times actually) and he's always been the intimidating type. I don't mean to make him sound all bad, but it's difficult when someone lives in your home and dominates your living room I actually spend more time in my room now than I did as a child. I think this is a brilliant site and I didn't realise there was so many of us. Thankyou for listening.

By Raine

Re: My dad
Thu 31 Aug 2006 23:45

Hello Orange

I am taking Dad to Okehampton this weekend. I pack his suitcase and he keeps asking what Time are we leaving?? Then promptly fogets. he would never go to anything that mentions pensioner, because he says they are old fogies.
We are staying at the hotel where he was stationed during the war. His long term memory is great like living history book. I am studying to be a yoga teacher. But sometimes I think I need to study dad. If the house was on fire. He would look at it burning and not do anything. I took him on a flight once to see my sister. We were struck by lightening we were bounced around like a ship at sea. He never flinched, it was like he was home looking at the telly. He is just calm and doesnt get worked up about anything. Its like he shut down all emotions when mum died.
Its hard doing the study, I am having to get someone in for my next days study. He cannot be left on his own as he wouldnt eat wash ect
So in the end you become the parent , I never had children but now what it must be like . The total responsibility for another persons welfare. But because it is your dad, guilt sometimes for wanting to escape. The day after day toil of it. Never any thanks. Just sittting thereand not atempting to lift a finger. Just like six year old. I know some are far worse off than me. I still get very depressed and want to hide up a tree. Just to be me.

Still that me done for today . Hope this makes you feel better chin up . Let us know what you are up to.

All the best Love Raine