Thanks Andy. I have had help in the home for just over a year now as I couldnt cope without my husband here to help any more but on top of it all she was diagnosed with Fybromyalgia on Friday and so is having to take time off indefinitely!! I have contacted our friend and Spiritualist Medium who runs centres locally and who we had our first private reading with in February last year. It is a fact...sad or happy whichever way you look at it that most of the love and mentoring we have comes from our loved ones in the spirit world...the ones left on the Earth plane run the other way!
Hopefully will have a private reading with her on Wednesday so at least we wont feel so alone..we are very much aware of them around us but the greater communication is lovely every once in a while. Neither my Dad nor Neil my husband who passed [greatest thing about spiritualist belief is that the term "death" doesnt exist because we know they have survived in spirit!] within 6 months of each other in 2010 would have wanted us to go to a spiritualist centre in life yet they both came through instantly and directly to us after they passed and then led us there. Ghost was Neil's favourite film so I think it was inevitable!
She told me that someone saw Neil with Ali when we last went to Basildon centre...I told Ali and he just shrugged his shoulders and said "yeah, I know!" It's nice to know he looks out for him and of course for our boys to know he loves them since he took his own life.
The problem with Social Services and the LD mental health team is that they did nothing at all for 15 months and only when we had a major crisis did they try to help at all. This means that they only intervene when they think I am not coping...Angus, our eldest who has Aspergers, turned round this week and very confidently and calmly said "Look, its not Mum who has a problem, it's Ali!" They constantly try to paint me as mentally ill if I become unable to cope. They should try doing this 24/7 with very little sleep and then they would realise just how strong I am...apart from coping with Neil's mental health, earlier suicide attempt when he jumped from a bridge, 4 months with him in rehab 100 miles from home, caring for him with paraplegia for 3 years, withstanding his bloody family's attacks on me to absolve themselves of their own guilt for the way they were with him growing up and walking away from us for years because of our sons Autism, finding him having cut his own throat in bed next to me trying to save him and dealing with police investigations lest I might have murdered him [despite him being under the mental health team and me calling 999 3 times in the 4 days before including midnight that night it happened because he was attempting and them refusing to take him to hospital] and then having to listen to them all lie at the inquest and say I had refused to let them help him and then have to move into my parents home because we couldnt sleep in the house and cope with the awful fallout of suicide with no help apart from an online group and in here and no family and the one or two friends we have pulling away and GPs who have no idea and SS who think when I am admitted to hospital with a stress related illness that Angus can cope with Ali on his own and me having to discharge myself against medical advice and take oral antibiotics instead of IV and hope I live while still caring for Ali with challenging behaviour!
You really couldnt make it up!
Tomorrow morning I have to try and find Mum a care home as they want to throw her out of hospital but cant because she is self funding they realised on friday. Then I have to work out how to get her possessions out of the old home and find the items they have lost...her glasses, her TV, her expensive wheelchair cushion.....explain to the council tax people why I havent filled out the disability forms yet and Dad's pension scheme who want a whole months pension back because he died a week before the end of the month but I cant repay till I have done the probate..who are threatening bailiffs all the time...sort out Alis ESA because they cant accept he cant attend one of their bloody interviews...do all the washing and cleaning and hope Ali is a "good boy"!!! Then I will have to think what to do next.
At least though I hopefully wont have SS in the background trying to fit me up for the Mental unit!!! Either I am sane or I am so mad I dont know I am mad! If I sit still I am OK . LOL