1. Who are Social Workers..do they know??LOL

    Posted by swissmiss at Fri Aug 24, 2012 11:20 pm

    I have had the week from hell due to inept and damaging involvement from Social Workers and NHS staff both in hospital for my Mum and at home from the Learning Disability team. No change there then. The LD team have been with us for 2 days supposedly to find solutions to supporting us with Ali's challenging behaviour and have come up with as a solution to all our problems...a respite home for Ali with Autism specialism at a whopping £300 a night chargeable to us, a specialist support service which we can pay for at £30 an hour and...wait for it....an introduction to a Buddhist support worker who it transpires is too busy to help but who gave me a text number for a remote spiritual healing network!!!
    The hospital told me at 5pm yesterday that Mum would be discharged after the Bank Holiday and that i should find her another home to move into without their help as she is self funding. This morning they rang to say she would be discharged today into a step down home of their choosing which might be anywhere because she couldnt stay in hospital over the weekend in case she caught an infection. This upset me as I felt she might go somewhere awful or a long way from us and because I was upset Ali went into meltdown. I rang the crisis team who said a nurse would come soon..in the event she had a supervision all afternoon and never came!
    Then at 5.30 I rang the hospital as I hadnt heard anything and was told that they had decided not to discharge Mum today as she is self funding ...which they knew before so God knows what is going on and that having had a day wiped out with their shenanigans and Ali's resulting meltdown...so now I hvae to try and find her a home over the Bank Holiday weekend!!!
    In trying to find the crisis nurse's number when she didnt turn up I found a SEPT board meeting she attended and the only laugh of the day.
    I was intrigued by the section which dealt with SEPT's Social Care Vision [for obvious reasons]! Apparently...."the first annual conference for social workers was held in January where more than 130 staff attended. The event identified the priorities for social workers which included reclaiming their identity..." ...first real laugh of the day that!!! Apparently they also want "professional career
    pathways but not leading to management."...too much responsibility for them????
    Karen :roll::cry::lol:

  2. Re: Who are Social Workers..do they know??LOL

    Posted by suejane at Sat Aug 25, 2012 10:00 pm

    Karen i will join you in a scream for you all!!But hugs also xxxcourageous lady you are xx :!:

  3. Re: Who are Social Workers..do they know??LOL

    Posted by AndyJH at Sat Aug 25, 2012 11:35 pm

    I think I'll join you both in a scream.

    I really dont know quite what to say, I'm sure at some point you have been involved with The National Autistic Society maybe they are able to offer you allternitive solution.

    I also fail to understand what a spiritual healer could actually do in this case so if i'm reading it right then I share your frustrations of so called professionals.

  4. Re: Who are Social Workers..do they know??LOL

    Posted by swissmiss at Sun Aug 26, 2012 2:07 am

    Ha ha...think they were doing their duty in supporting my spiritualist beliefs...box ticked! Never found the National Autistic Society any help apart from useful info on their website for claiming DLA. They have no services in Southend...nothing for Aspergers at all and nothing specialist at all for Autism. Will have to move. :roll:

  5. Re: Who are Social Workers..do they know??LOL

    Posted by AndyJH at Sun Aug 26, 2012 12:51 pm

    If then your saying that the social services are saying we got you this and that and thats your lot then I really do sympathise.

    They cant show discrimination to religous beliefs so guess thats why they did that. I share a spiritual beliefe myself.

    its far from a suggestion and maybe you have concidered this but lots of places of worship now offer pastorial care in the form of mentoring support to the local community. At least then you would be able to vent your frustrations on someone who will listen and not show judgement.

    On the care side of things I'm not sure anything I may suggest would be any help. its sad to say that resourses are streched and I find it a no win battle too.

    I can't say I know much about Children and adults with Autism but I maybe right in guesing that your son needs constant suppervision and and a lot of distraction in stimulating (ie visual)

    So might be an idea to look into a possible home help to do cooking etc, I'm sure u can do that but if your son is accepting of strangers it would leave you time to be with him and not leave him out of your sight.

    I guess the trick is to be free of some of the stress your getting as I'm sure your son picks up on this and not helping matters
    so if you can think of anything that would then if your less stressed your your son might be too

    Hope this a help
    Regards Andrew

  6. Re: Who are Social Workers..do they know??LOL

    Posted by swissmiss at Mon Aug 27, 2012 4:08 pm

    Thanks Andy. I have had help in the home for just over a year now as I couldnt cope without my husband here to help any more but on top of it all she was diagnosed with Fybromyalgia on Friday and so is having to take time off indefinitely!! I have contacted our friend and Spiritualist Medium who runs centres locally and who we had our first private reading with in February last year. It is a fact...sad or happy whichever way you look at it that most of the love and mentoring we have comes from our loved ones in the spirit world...the ones left on the Earth plane run the other way! :-) Hopefully will have a private reading with her on Wednesday so at least we wont feel so alone..we are very much aware of them around us but the greater communication is lovely every once in a while. Neither my Dad nor Neil my husband who passed [greatest thing about spiritualist belief is that the term "death" doesnt exist because we know they have survived in spirit!] within 6 months of each other in 2010 would have wanted us to go to a spiritualist centre in life yet they both came through instantly and directly to us after they passed and then led us there. Ghost was Neil's favourite film so I think it was inevitable! :-) She told me that someone saw Neil with Ali when we last went to Basildon centre...I told Ali and he just shrugged his shoulders and said "yeah, I know!" It's nice to know he looks out for him and of course for our boys to know he loves them since he took his own life.
    The problem with Social Services and the LD mental health team is that they did nothing at all for 15 months and only when we had a major crisis did they try to help at all. This means that they only intervene when they think I am not coping...Angus, our eldest who has Aspergers, turned round this week and very confidently and calmly said "Look, its not Mum who has a problem, it's Ali!" They constantly try to paint me as mentally ill if I become unable to cope. They should try doing this 24/7 with very little sleep and then they would realise just how strong I am...apart from coping with Neil's mental health, earlier suicide attempt when he jumped from a bridge, 4 months with him in rehab 100 miles from home, caring for him with paraplegia for 3 years, withstanding his bloody family's attacks on me to absolve themselves of their own guilt for the way they were with him growing up and walking away from us for years because of our sons Autism, finding him having cut his own throat in bed next to me trying to save him and dealing with police investigations lest I might have murdered him [despite him being under the mental health team and me calling 999 3 times in the 4 days before including midnight that night it happened because he was attempting and them refusing to take him to hospital] and then having to listen to them all lie at the inquest and say I had refused to let them help him and then have to move into my parents home because we couldnt sleep in the house and cope with the awful fallout of suicide with no help apart from an online group and in here and no family and the one or two friends we have pulling away and GPs who have no idea and SS who think when I am admitted to hospital with a stress related illness that Angus can cope with Ali on his own and me having to discharge myself against medical advice and take oral antibiotics instead of IV and hope I live while still caring for Ali with challenging behaviour!
    You really couldnt make it up!
    Tomorrow morning I have to try and find Mum a care home as they want to throw her out of hospital but cant because she is self funding they realised on friday. Then I have to work out how to get her possessions out of the old home and find the items they have lost...her glasses, her TV, her expensive wheelchair cushion.....explain to the council tax people why I havent filled out the disability forms yet and Dad's pension scheme who want a whole months pension back because he died a week before the end of the month but I cant repay till I have done the probate..who are threatening bailiffs all the time...sort out Alis ESA because they cant accept he cant attend one of their bloody interviews...do all the washing and cleaning and hope Ali is a "good boy"!!! Then I will have to think what to do next.
    At least though I hopefully wont have SS in the background trying to fit me up for the Mental unit!!! Either I am sane or I am so mad I dont know I am mad! If I sit still I am OK . LOL :lol::lol::roll::roll:;);)

  7. Re: Who are Social Workers..do they know??LOL

    Posted by Alfie's Mum at Wed Jan 30, 2013 7:02 pm

    I am a new member. Just got to read your blog. So sorry for your predicament(s). I was feeling sorry for myself till I read your experiences. As I said in my profile I have cared for a mother in law with Alzheimers, a first husband with a rare genetic problem which resulted in his trying to plug me into a power plug when he was manic and now my second husband with dementia. His latest escapade was that he added the food I had thawed out overnight for our dying cat to his porridge in the morning instead of the ground linseed.

    You get a bit tired of Social Workers and Psychiatrists out there telling you how to cope. They may be experts, but have they ever tried coping with multiple problems. As you say the sheer loss of sleep sends you crazy yourself. But even close relatives havn't a clue. My sister is not speaking to me at the moment as she took offence when I had collapsed and had to seek the doctor's help. He ordered me to bed - but only after I had made the lunch, given the cat his meds and my husband his meds, and cooked the evening meal. Her reaction to my husband saying I was resting and couldn't be disturbed was. "You can't afford to go to bed at the drop of a hat" Actually it was at the drop of myself who collapsed in a heap on the kitchen floor. And this from a woman who never had a full-time job, has the benefit of 3 pensions inherited from her husband and had spend most of her life permanently in bed since she was 51. When I explain its different for her because she is not alone; she doesn't have to cope with what I cope with; doing all the housework, cooking and gardening, her reply was that she only had her (2) carers; the apartment manager, and the girls (my two nieces in their 30's to help) Every meal is made, her housework is done, she rings me to get in touch with her doctor, dentist etc.
    She is so not aware what a complete hypochondriac she is - even though all her doctors eventually strike her off for wasting their time!

    Sorry to go on but I say this because unless the people you talk to have actually done it, they are completely unsympathetic. No use looking for sympathy. What you need, is cutting the red tape. Its outrageous what you are putting up with.

    What can I suggest. I wish I could say. Perhaps writing to your MP and complaining to the Ombudsman for Social Services. When it comes to corresponding - try using a fictitious title (Dr) or (Rev). I did this by accident on a website and it was amazing how much more attention I got.Good luck

  8. Re: Who are Social Workers..do they know??LOL

    Posted by swissmiss at Wed Jan 30, 2013 8:05 pm

    Sounds like you have plenty on your plate too. They must think we make it up as it sounds unmanageable! Sadly I dont have my husband any more but had we been given support by SS he might well still be alive. Thanks for reviving this as I am in the middle of waiting for a response from the Director of Social Services after our carer's forum advocate suggested a meeting with him! It is good to be reminded just how much they %%%% you up when you are most in need of support! I love the idea of using a title to get listened to! Is Dr better than Revd??? :)
    Karen xx
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