1. All I want is ...............Social Services, how do you deal with them??

    Posted by swissmiss at Sun Jun 03, 2012 12:26 pm

    All I want is to be able to walk tall and proud of my boys and for society in general and Social Services in particular to show respect towards them and for me for raising them to be such amazing people. Is that too much to ask?
    I am strong but immensely fragile. It doesnt take much to knock me down. On Wednesday Ali's Social Worker turned around and actually accused me of inventing his need for Speech and Language Therapy. I know this is ridiculous and he has a Psychological assessment to support the need as an urgent priority for him...it is the fact that after a year of being involved with SS in Southend they can do that. What makes it worse is that I know that SS lack of support, and aggression when pressed for help, killed my husband.
    Our boys hate them, because of their Dad, but also last year, when I had an emergency hospital admission brought about by extreme challenging behaviour of my youngest, which they knew about and chose to ignore and leave me to deal with, they turned around to my eldest and told him he could cope with him 24/7 while I was in hospital on his own! Then after 3 days when I had managed to crawl out of my hospital bed and ring them for the third time they sent the SW to our home...she walked in and asked Ali if he was OK..he said "Yep." and then as Angus and Jim, an elderly friend who stayed overnight with them, went to sit down and talk to her she announced she wasn't stopping and walked out! When I spoke with her manager...an Australian they have brought in as some superking of SS and who they pay something like £140,000 a year told me that was what he had instructed her to do...that their role was to support Alistair and if he was happy then they were doing their job! I am not being funny but even Ali knew that was a pisstake [one of their father's expressions!]
    We cannot see a way forward with Social Services..they screw your mind and stamp on you when you are down.
    The latest mind screw is that Alistair actually has a decent support package approved by panel but no services other than 5 mornings at a local media club which I take him to.No respite and nothing like the 28 hours support approved..why?...because the rest of the day centres are dire...slightly cleaned up versions of daytime asylums IMHO...and the Adult Placement[Shared Lives] service doesnt have support workers available to do anything other than daytime care whereby Ali can sit and watch them do their ironing and pay them £9.50 an hour for the privelege!
    Sadly my brain wont allow itself to adjust its thoughts and expectations to this level. What can I do???

  2. Re: All I want is ...............Social Services, how do you deal with them??

    Posted by ena1 at Sun Jun 03, 2012 12:45 pm

    The only way I've found to deal with social servises is not to have any contact with them whatsoever. Like you said they will screw your life up completely & kick you when you are down.

  3. Re: All I want is ...............Social Services, how do you deal with them??

    Posted by swissmiss at Sun Jun 03, 2012 12:48 pm

    Hi Ena
    I know..it seems the only solution. Then when tragedy happens and carers and their cared for take their own lives they always say that those concerned didn't want supporting. It's a modern irony?
    (((HUGS))))
    Karen x

  4. Re: All I want is ...............Social Services, how do you deal with them??

    Posted by ena1 at Sun Jun 03, 2012 1:09 pm

    It's what they want, people isolate completely because it's the only way they can cope or they don't cope at all & something tragic happens, they don't have to provide a service then do they? Then they twist it round so it's all our own fault, it's what we wanted.

  5. Re: All I want is ...............Social Services, how do you deal with them??

    Posted by reinvented at Sun Jun 03, 2012 6:56 pm

    Swissmiss and Ena1

    I don't know why they bother having a job, I'm a bit like you swissmiss, too hard to get my head around. I keep thinking - there must be a way - this can't be their response - and it is torture. Ena1 - it is sad to say you are right. The old, the answer is no - what's the question. You have both got my heart - this really gets me about speech and language - a youngster has a birthday and then they do not have needs anymore - amazing that. I've got no words Swissmiss - I'm only just seeing it for myself.

  6. Re: All I want is ...............Social Services, how do you deal with them??

    Posted by lynba2 at Mon Jun 04, 2012 12:54 pm

    hi karen hun i left you a private message well i hope it did dont know how they work on here lol have you got an avocat ?i left you details of someone you can fone that can help you deal with these people if you didnt get my private message i am on facebook or msn i expect the nice people on here can give you my email address hun hope your feeling better today lyn xxxx

  7. Re: All I want is ...............Social Services, how do you deal with them??

    Posted by Flowerpower at Mon Jul 02, 2012 2:47 pm

    They should be there when we need them but in my experience they are so useless and they make me so angry that I am best staying away from them.

  8. Re: All I want is ...............Social Services, how do you deal with them??

    Posted by swissmiss at Mon Jul 02, 2012 11:58 pm

    I have had such a bad time lately with my youngest that managing without them has been impossible. Have just had 9 whole days of respite [I am paying for it] but at last the manager of the CTPLD came out to visit with his SW on friday and as a result of the dire emergency siituation we are finally getting helped by health and social... coordinated service! Alleluia!!! Now he is involved the Sw seems to be on her toes and the psychiatric team have been forced to actually put therapy in and give me community support. I could have died with the strain...if not for my eldest son who himself has Aspergers I think I would have voluntarily died by now. Maybe this is a reward for surviving against all odds and expectation????? Must be my Yorkshire genes and 5 years living in a convent makes me tough enough??? I dont have the energy to shout any more but plenty to cry still. :cry::roll::lol: Is there an emoticon for "knackered"? LOL
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