New to this forum, I have been a carer for some years for my partner. Somehow I changed from caring for my partner as a loved one to being a carer for my partner. Over the years we have struggled by with basic benefits and retirement pension, as have many others.
Some weeks ago my wife needed to be in hospital for several weeks, and was discharged without a care plan for home life. Some days later she
became quite unable to stand or walk, and I needed to arrange short term
support and rehab. This took a day to arrange, but soon I was getting
a team of 2 carers visiting 4 times a day, to help with toiletting and
care etc. as I could not manage on my own.
Having had 10 days and nights without sleep, getting headaches and feeling dizzy I begged for some emergency respite overnight but was
refused, instead offered extra night-time visits. This would have meant that even if I had dropped off I needed to get up to answer the carers as I had to wait weeks for even a key-safe.
I was told that if I just up and went to a bed and breakfast, and something happened then they would have to arrange something for my wife, however they could not do anything as long as I was at home. This is ridiculous, and still is as I still cannot get even one night off.
The websites from the council all say I am entitled to up to 4 respite breaks a year, but I have never had one since I took the carer role.
Has anyone else had this problem, how did they cope and just what does one have to do to get a night off, let alone one of the promised weeks ?
Do I really have to leave my wife and live alone just to get some sleep or just leave her alone for days on end and hope for the best. We have no savings to speak of, have no family and friends support network and now think that if I do not get a night or two of sleep I will be in need of care myself - Heaven forbid.
The Care Manager just talks down to me, says I am doing a great job and should be proud. Pride comes before a fall and I am falling, badly.
Some weeks ago my wife needed to be in hospital for several weeks, and was discharged without a care plan for home life. Some days later she
became quite unable to stand or walk, and I needed to arrange short term
support and rehab. This took a day to arrange, but soon I was getting
a team of 2 carers visiting 4 times a day, to help with toiletting and
care etc. as I could not manage on my own.
Having had 10 days and nights without sleep, getting headaches and feeling dizzy I begged for some emergency respite overnight but was
refused, instead offered extra night-time visits. This would have meant that even if I had dropped off I needed to get up to answer the carers as I had to wait weeks for even a key-safe.
I was told that if I just up and went to a bed and breakfast, and something happened then they would have to arrange something for my wife, however they could not do anything as long as I was at home. This is ridiculous, and still is as I still cannot get even one night off.
The websites from the council all say I am entitled to up to 4 respite breaks a year, but I have never had one since I took the carer role.
Has anyone else had this problem, how did they cope and just what does one have to do to get a night off, let alone one of the promised weeks ?
Do I really have to leave my wife and live alone just to get some sleep or just leave her alone for days on end and hope for the best. We have no savings to speak of, have no family and friends support network and now think that if I do not get a night or two of sleep I will be in need of care myself - Heaven forbid.
The Care Manager just talks down to me, says I am doing a great job and should be proud. Pride comes before a fall and I am falling, badly.
