Hi, new here, met my wife 6 years ago, she has had MD for 30 years the last 15 she has been in a wheelchair. Before we met she had carers to help around the house and assist her getting ready for work, she managed all her personal stuff herself, a lot of effort but she managed. She was in full time work and I became self employed, moved 200 miles to be with her. We had a great time, lots of laughs, similar tastes in everything going out meeting friends, the physical side we overcame very easily and I had no misconceptions about her disabilities or caring for her. She was very independent up until voluntary redundancies at work, she opted for it as her ability to do the job was becoming more difficult anyway. However it meant my role as carer was increased and my ability to work during the day was more restricted so I became her full time carer, I have no problem with this role its just stuff that needs to be done, I didn't mind housework, cooking I love, and helping her with personal things was fine too, we had a good relationship it was fun. But she changed, became more and more of a recluse, nothing moody just decided she didn't like the city anymore and when an opportunity came up to move to the country and be near her mum we took it. Small village, open country, a dog, chickens and veg patch, what more could you want!!!!! Well 2 years ago she decided her libido had gone so that was it, she likes to hibernate in winter(and most of summer too) spends more time in bed than up, and I can't be away from her more than 2 hours which means its just shopping trips for my excitement. I do absolutely everything for her now including housework and garden 24/7, she won't let anyone tend to her personal hygiene but me, and she doesn't think its a problem. Have tried the talking but ends up screaming, others have tried too but nothing changes, its not her disability its her personality and attitude thats the problem and she won't see it, she lives in a bubble and I am always in the wrong, not suggesting I'm a saint either. My life here is great, the location, dog , chickens, garden are all what I enjoy but I miss the relationship and the physical side too as I am a tactile person. I do love her and won't leave her, just need to vent occasionally and not feel so guilty, but the loneliness,lack of physical contact and adult conversation gets me down sometimes. Not looking for answers, I know all the options and all the scenarios(go thru them in my head all the time), just hoping to find someone in similar circumstance to have a moan and share.
Apologies for length, still not enough as I'm sure you all know full well.........cheers