Hello swissmiss. I think you have given up with people but are at risk of depression and i think you should ring the Samaritans to talk to them, they are always there for you.Also i just wonder if you are still grieving and therefore verything is clouded by this feeling. Can you talk to the Samaritans. Everything looks hopeless to you and your sons also have this feeling they are probably grieving still too.Could you go back to the doctor and request counselling also for you children. Im sure once this cloud lifts abit you will all feel better. If you really feel everything is black once again you have these people to talk to at night as i did many times they kept me alive at one point.
Are there no organisations or no friends to help.I think you should ring someone tonight.You could ring me i can send my number if you want it.
Please please dont give up, there ar people out there who can help. No im not wanted by my hubbies family and neither is Cian but we battle on. We know weare better than that and so are you.
Big hugs im here for you love jane xxx

karen i dont so much think its your mad at neil i think its because you are coping with your two boys on your own with no help socalled proffesional or friends they have all let you down in a really big way it greiving takes a long time so just tell people to mind their own buisness and you will know when you are ready to let go of the grief as sue says samaritians are there to listen to you im not ashamed to admit i have spoken to them so many times over the years all these so called professionals dont know what its like to care 24/7 to them it is just a job and they go home to a normal life yet if you ask for any help they just pass the buck on to someone else so you just go round in circles all the time and as for so called friends they dont understand either but you have loads of friends on here hun that know part of what your going through and as sue says if you want our numbers just say hun lyn xxxx

Thank-you both. I am trying to push myself to not sink but am shaking a lot of the time. Managed to make myself go out and do 3 things ...I feel better for crossing them off the list and getting out but my head felt like it was going to explode! There are people worse off and going through more immediate crises so I must be grateful that we are at least on a level ground.
((((HUGS)))) to you both.
Karen xx