Hello swissmiss. I think you have given up with people but are at risk of depression and i think you should ring the Samaritans to talk to them, they are always there for you.Also i just wonder if you are still grieving and therefore verything is clouded by this feeling. Can you talk to the Samaritans. Everything looks hopeless to you and your sons also have this feeling they are probably grieving still too.Could you go back to the doctor and request counselling also for you children. Im sure once this cloud lifts abit you will all feel better. If you really feel everything is black once again you have these people to talk to at night as i did many times they kept me alive at one point.
Are there no organisations or no friends to help.I think you should ring someone tonight.You could ring me i can send my number if you want it.
Please please dont give up, there ar people out there who can help. No im not wanted by my hubbies family and neither is Cian but we battle on. We know weare better than that and so are you.
Big hugs im here for you love jane xxx