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  1. Minor heart attack i think!!

    Posted by suejane at Fri Aug 31, 2012 8:14 pm

    Hi everyone. 2 weeks ago hubbie got very cross with son, very wound up shouting etc. I think son didnt say please or something i had to try to calm hubbie it was awful. Very sensitive man etc. Son aged 21. During the night i had increasing pain on left side of chest. I suffer from asthma damaged lungs anyway, on lots of medication.I felt terrible and ended up leaving son at home whilst i went to out of hours hospitel doctor, lucky he was there.Doctor was going to keep me in and tested oxygen levels etc. More antibiotics etc.The pain was so bad it was also thought it might be my heart and i was told to comr back if i felt worse. I put it down to the previous nights stress and now i know i have to change things but dont know how. Hubbie owns house and all i have are our benefits.
    I have found a place where i would love to live and son is going back to college there again next week after refusing to go back , all is now well again for him, his final year there.
    I know i have to make things less stressful but like many carers dont know how. Hugs to everyone tonight and every night xxxx

  2. Re: Minor heart attack i think!!

    Posted by swissmiss at Sun Sep 02, 2012 11:17 pm

    Hi Jane
    Well that is good news about Cian returning to college...is the transport sorted??? Only a minor heart attack?! I had a few of those last year...kept going to A & E but apparently I have a strong heart. Thought I was dying though. There is only so much the body can take. Try and get your rest and meditate.
    ((((HUGS))))
    Karen x :):)

  3. Re: Minor heart attack i think!!

    Posted by suejane at Mon Sep 03, 2012 9:53 am

    Hi Karen how are you all today? My husband has decided to do alot more social activites, hes very bright and chats to anyone and constantly wants to study and learn. He doesnt seem terribly interested in what im doing . So there you are. He isnt terribly interested in Cian either anymore. We do have friends here and Cian does phone his dad- for good or evil-we can more or less do what we want.
    So now when Cian goes back to college, transport should be sorted out by wednesday, i have to decide how to use my free time.Iv worked with children since i was 10 and im 61 now so it wont be easy!
    Hugs to you Karen and im with you through all your struggles and happy times. I dont seemy other 4 children or grandson and iv sort of accepted that now.All we can do is try to stay well enough to care for the kids for a while longer!
    Hugs today < hugs hugs>
    From jane

  4. Re: Minor heart attack i think!!

    Posted by swissmiss at Mon Sep 03, 2012 11:12 am

    HI Jane
    I guess that if you build up some sort of an independent life for yourself it will either make you all happier and content or perhaps motivate you to go your separate ways from hubbie? Only time will tell. Neil's mental health meant he couldnt let me go..he needed me by him to be able to function and not just in the last few years but forever so I didnt have an independent life. I didnt mind as I lovd him and we were happy.His brother and his wife hardly see each other..they go days without talking if they arent at home at night. The thing is it must work for them..either that or his brother has adapted well to his wife's self-focussed ways!!! Its not about whats right or wrong but what wroks for both of you?
    Hope the transport is better and Cian enjoys his last year at college.
    Love
    Karen x :)

  5. Re: Minor heart attack i think!!

    Posted by suejane at Mon Sep 03, 2012 5:22 pm

    Hi Karen
    I devoted myself to hubbie and son and was grateful to my friend now hubbie who rescued me and later Cian from dreadful circumstances, life threatening. I thought i owed it to him. He married me bcause he didnt want me living in his house it would look bad. He cared for us but always his sister came first.So really he lives the way he wants too, Cian also and now its up to me to find my own life!Iv had to accept this like everything else! xx

  6. Re: Minor heart attack i think!!

    Posted by suejane at Mon Sep 03, 2012 5:24 pm

    I also loved him and he said he loved me but life has always been on his terms, something i cant change xxx

  7. Re: Minor heart attack i think!!

    Posted by swissmiss at Mon Sep 03, 2012 5:37 pm

    Sometimes Jane life has a way of evolving in the right direction. Just try and go with what feels right for you. :)

  8. Re: Minor heart attack i think!!

    Posted by suejane at Sat Sep 08, 2012 11:05 am

    Hi swissmiss how are you all today? There really isnt any relationship with my hubbie. He does everything his ownway and has life how he wants it. If Cian wasnt here then theres no point me being here. All hubbie says is he isnt responsible for my life which is true. I constantly worry with Cian needing lifts everywhere that i neglect hubbie but really he come with us when he wants too has masses of aqauintances and family to talk too, explores the city which he loves doing et etc.He is akind and gentle person very academic and cultured.
    I ought to think what i will do when Cian moves on as he is doing gradually which is natural and good for a 21 year old . He can do most things for himself just need taxi rides !I was thinking of moving back to the Midlands at some point but only when Cian is actually Independent Living and even than we would still want to see each other. If Cian moves away for sport etc then i will go to live near him if this works out.
    So much to think about. Hubbie controls garden house everything is his anyway.
    Thanks for being there and i hope you get some sun this weekend and manage to have a pleasant few days love jane and cian in cardiff xxx

  9. Re: Minor heart attack i think!!

    Posted by swissmiss at Sat Sep 08, 2012 2:33 pm

    Perhaps you and hubbie just arent compatible Jane? Maybe someone more down to earth who takes you out of yourself rather than who intellectualises life would make you happier...it would me!
    It is soooooooooooo hot and muggy here today...too much air pollution pulled down the Thames from London and the aircraft! When that Icelandic volcano stopped flights in 2010 it was so clear and blue skies! Must move somewhere with clear air!
    Karen :-)

  10. Re: Minor heart attack i think!!

    Posted by suejane at Sat Sep 08, 2012 5:48 pm

    Hi Karen and i hope you are ok tonight?I think hubbie and i could be friends but nothing more. Never mind as you say sometimes things work out the way they were meant too. Hugs xxx
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