There was bugger all [apologies for my language!] in Lincs for either of them and it is very likely that had there been their Dad might not have taken his own life. We have had to swallow our pain and hatred of Social Services and try to get services for my youngest. 15 months later and after leaving me with his severely challenging behaviour....meltdowns, not sleeping all night, punching himself in the face...until 9 months in we couldnt cope any longer and had to sit in at the hospital and call the police to stop them throwing us out [I so wish I had felt like John and Yoko more than an oppressed member of an authoritarian dictatorship!] ...and even then several more collapses in our ability to care for him ...we being me and my eldest son who by all considerations should be being cared for not caring for his brother and me...all we ended up with was a Social Worker who went around telling everyone all sorts of crap about me and a crisis team consisting of an OT and a SLT who every time I said I couldnt cope sprung into alert mode to take my boys away and refer me for Psychiatric help! In the middle of all the crisis with Mum and Ali struggling with his emotions even more as a result...not to mention me...rather than care and support they tried to build up to this. The moment for me was last week when i was holding Ali to stop him hitting himself and trying to ring for help...Angus had to take the phone and they started on about whether I was cracking up and did they need to intervene...he said very calmly and assuredly [he has been through so much with his Dad that he has learned to deal with these prats] "It's not Mum that has a problem..its Ali!" I was so proud of him. It made no difference. Well a crisis nurse was called but she never came. So we managed...again. Angus and I feel that enough is enough...the system has been tested to its limit and has failed us. We cannot live under threat of being separated rather than given care and support...and God forbid..LOVE?
A calm has descended and we are on our own again. What next?