Hello there,

It is lovely to see you back on here.

I too lost my mum in February of this year, but still read these boards. Shortly after that, I posted about my grief, but got told by Jenny to 'snap out of it'. That was a real kick in the teeth, and I have not posted on here since, and probably will not post after this.

It was such a nice surprise to see you, and I hope that you are keeping as well as you can xxx

I feel as if I now want to do something to help carers, but don't know where to start.

Take care,

Love, Rosy xxx

Hi both of you! Lovely to hear from you both again. How are you getting on? My Mum is in hospital..she had a nasty fall probably pushed by another resident in her home and now has a severe chest infection. The doctor isnt sure that she will pull through but to be honest she is a fighter and might well surprise everyone yet. It is one day at a time. Just so hard as its me and my boys and noone else and it stirs up all our feelings of loss again.
Karen x

I havent had any pampering since losing Neil apart from my two lovely boys who as you know are Autistic. It has been so tough especially as my youngest has been uncontrollably hitting himself night and day and the NHS and SS have as per usual let us down. I do tend to feel sorry for myself..being on my own, losing Neil the way i did and so young...and yet there are many people out there coping with similar or worse who are alone. I have been wondering today how they get through? I am told i am strong but I dont feel it. The pain and heartache has wracked my mind and body so hard that I dont know why I am still here. Everyone is different and every situation is different but if anyone has any suggestions I would be grateful.
I do feel for Jennifer because I know she was left on her own having cared for and lost her husband and father-in-law. I am full of admiration for her for how after a few months of suffering she managed to make herself go out and work in caring and use her expertise to make a difference. It cant have been easy. For her it was right, it was what she had to do and perhaps she isnt as strong as people think? Sometimes the strain of coping has to show and I dont think she meant harm even though it was sharp and early days for Rosie. Please lets try and be gentle with each other?
((((HUGS))))
Karen xx

Hello Ena1
Lovely to see you again. Hope things are a bit calmer for you now and/or that you are coping with whatever is coming your way. Really I hope that you are having a calmer time of it all.

Hi Swissmiss
I know to be gentle with people particularly those who are having a bad time. One of the problems I had was that I was losing my dad, I had been told that he would not be coming home and if he survived this he would need to be in a Nursing Home, I was then told that he had no chance now and that they were putting him on end of life care. A nurse who knew that I was at the end of my tether trying to cope at home with my dad took it into her head that it would be "fun" to wind me up about my dad being sent home. In the last 24 hours of his life I decided that it was only blood family who would be able to visit my dad. A nosey neighbour arrived at the hospital I saw her and told staff again that I had said only family visitors. By this time my father had been moved to a single room and my elder daughter and I had stayed for 36 hours. This neighbour was not told by family that my dad was in a single room yet she barged into the room. When my dad died this same nurse came into the room put her hands on her hips struck a pose and walked out. Such is the level of scum purporting to be a nurse in a geriatric unit!! Then when I got home another neighbour called at my father's house after having found out from my crying younger daughter that my father had died. This neighbour's opening statement was "heard your dad died, where is he? up the stairs? aye? next line was "what are you doing with the house? Bear in mind this was about 5 hours after my dad died. That neighbour works part time as a receptionist at a doctor's surgery and part time as a phlebotamist in a hospital. Again a wonderful representative of the ignorant conduct of an NHS employee. A few weeks after my dad died a neighbour over the fence said I was bullying her because I asked about having the joint fence repaired. I have to point out this female is about 32 years of age and 5 feet 8 I am 60 and only 5 feet. She is a student nurse and also works as an auxilliary nurse in the District Nurses. This is my experience of the "highly paid professional carers". I was totally disgusted and I hope I never have to be in the care of the likes of that level of ignorant scum. Jennifer was wrong to say "snap out of it" to anyone. She knows the pain of loss. I also lost my ex husband/best friend in April 2011 and my dad in January 2012 and I would never say snap out of it to anyone because I actually CARE about my fellow carers and those who have lost their carees and just dont know what hit them. We lose our dad/mum, our closest companion and our job. Our whole reason for being is gone and we do not need one who is supposed to be one of us being so nasty.
Just my view after having had the above experiences. I have now been diagnosed with 3 permanent life long illnesses since my dad died and I have not had a pleasant word from those paid to care. [**Edited by the online support team**]

We did it for the love of our carees, not the fortune or the accolade, because there is none.

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