Thanks for the kind thoughts. Its a very difficult situation - dad does know who mum is, and me too - the effects of Picks disease mostly impact on speech (virtually impossible for him) and mobility - he can't walk at all without help. His memory is affected but more in the short term - a good deal of his long term memory remains intact but he gets confused easily.
Mum is very close to his care home, and initially she did visit every day but was trying so hard to keep herself busy that she neglected her health and got very low before she told anyone how she was feeling. They were never a 'close' couple - she has admitted this herself, but of course she is missing him being around. She is grieving - of course, and understands this. I have asked for counselling from the Carers Centre and I am waiting for them to call me back. We had an appointment with a psychiatric nurse at her doctors last week, which involved discussion about possible medication and therapy. I know what she needs, its just that everything takes so LONG and she isn't really feeling in the right place to start finding out these things for herself. Its really hard for older people as so much is internet-based these days.
Its all down to me as my brother lives in Bedfordshire and there are no other siblings. I'm also working - full time, but luckily I can do a lot of it at home.
And the other question - how do I feel?! Awful.
Constantly tired, stressed, and if I'm perfectly honest desperate to have my house back to myself. I have a 14 year old daughter who is on school Summer holidays and I've been restricted in how much time I can spend with her, so she's getting neglected. My husband has suffered with depression for years and is also struggling with having 'the mother in law' in the house all the time. We only have one big family room downstairs, and we're all in it, all the time.
Naturally she is worried about going back home alone, but if she stays here too long it will feel even worse, and she will get 'stuck' and not able to move on. I'm going to try going back home with her for a night, then leaving her for a night, and work up to her being at home a few nights at a time. Its just such hard work