1. Near rock bottom

    Posted by CrystalBlueWolf at Mon Jul 23, 2012 2:31 pm

    I don't even know what to say really. I am 100% exhausted, and part of me doesn't think i can do this any more. But the other half wants to keep on fighting. Just want to curl up into a ball and cry and cry until there aren't any tears left. Just so lonely.

  2. Re: Near rock bottom

    Posted by debzsanderson at Mon Jul 23, 2012 2:59 pm

    I am so sorry your feeling this low. I am in the same position. I keep going all day then at night when I have my shower I cry so that Mark cant hear me. Our SW is useless - keeps saying she will help and does nothing. I am now on anti depresants and thinking that my o/h would be better off without me. Try and keep going and take things slowly - I am trying to do the same right now.Feel free to pm me if you want a "chat" - I know I dont have a magic wand but I do have a listening ear

    debz xx

  3. Re: Near rock bottom

    Posted by jaye2080 at Mon Jul 23, 2012 3:54 pm

    I wish i could make things better for both of you, but i can't, so i'm sending an enormous hug for both of you (((((((((((((((((((((((((HUG)))))))))))))))))))))

    Thinking of you
    jaye

  4. Re: Near rock bottom

    Posted by swissmiss at Mon Jul 23, 2012 5:47 pm

    I feel the same. I have run out of ideas. All I can say is that you are not alone.
    Karen xx ((((HUGS)))) :):)

  5. Re: Near rock bottom

    Posted by CrystalBlueWolf at Mon Jul 23, 2012 6:54 pm

    Thanks guys, sorry for being so whiny. I think it's hard cause i'm still technically mourning the fact that i got my diagnosis for the borderline personality disorder as well as the fibromyaglia. And being in constant pain isn't help either, and hubby is being anything BUT support right now. Managed to have a good bitch with support worker earlier when we went for a walk. And i managed to have a nap just hour and half so was hoping that had helped but it really hadn't. I've got doctors appointment on Thursday so going to speak to them and see what can be done, because i already have a shrink and i'm allergic to anti-depressants. And i already take beta blockers for stress related headaches. So not sure what to do. Ideally part of me just wants to go away somewhere (like a fat camp) for a few weeks so i can get myself together, but i can't afford to. And i have no friends round here except one really and as she's a carer as well it's working around things. So i see her like once every few months. Just don't want to have a breakdown if i can help it, cause i don't know if i'll want to come back this time round.

  6. Re: Near rock bottom

    Posted by swissmiss at Mon Jul 23, 2012 8:10 pm

    Only idea I can throw in is looking at diet and blood sugar level management. Its a vicious circle...you get stressed and depressed and your hormones go haywire, cortisol races round in your blood, you crave all the wrong foods which in turn make you feel worse!!!! Perhaps your GP could refer you to a nutritionist??
    Karen x :)

  7. Re: Near rock bottom

    Posted by Coogybear at Tue Jul 24, 2012 12:24 am

    Keep going hun, I'm with you here.
    Coogy. xx

  8. Re: Near rock bottom

    Posted by CrystalBlueWolf at Tue Jul 24, 2012 9:21 am

    Hi swissmiss i already see one, and i have a special diet which is low fat/sugar diet. Been on it for a few months now. It's wheat/egg/dairy free and quite limited but it has made a difference to my pain and energy levels, but that seems to have petered off recently and now i'm just in constant pain and exhausted again. It's annoying because i can go to bed early sleep fine, and then wake up feeling like i've not slept at all. Managed to have a good cry yesterday with hubby, just couldn't cope any more the pain was getting too much and nothing was helping. Bless him he even tried massaging the area for 30mins and it didn't make the slightest difference. I'm not sure what i'm going to do in all honesty, i do need to talk to my doctor though because i know its the Fibromyalgia doing it, but its a lifelong condition and there is no cure for it. So it will be a case of finding the right medications to stop the symptoms, and then having more medicines to stop the side effects of the first lot of medicines *sighs* but if it stops the pains and makes it so i can function then i'll be happy. Cause at the moment i'm on crutches or using a wheelchair! Can't really be a carer for a disabled person when using a wheelchair lol
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