1. In shock

    Posted by BigMac at Mon May 21, 2012 11:27 pm

    Why does life always manage to kick you when you are down?
    My husbands bipolar has been really bad for the last 6 months, resulting in him having to give up work. We've been getting on with it as best we can with help from his mum, but we've had some bad news.
    My MIL has just been diagnosed with breast cancer. She can't quite take it in, and it's been a real shock to us all. Initially she didn't want to tell my husband, as he's barely coping with day to day life, but he knew something was going on and it was making him paranoid it was about him so we told him at the weekend.
    She's so worried about not being able to help us anymore, which she shouldn't have to worry about with everything that she's going to go through.
    I'm trying to stay strong for my husband and his family, but I'm so scared. I just about cope at the moment with help, so without that help and being there for my MIL, I don't know what I'm going to do.
    She's been a big support to me, and I really want to do the best I can for her, I just feel a bit overwhelmed and scared at the moment.
    I'll pull myself together shortly, I just need to write this down to stop it all racing round my head!
    Sharon

  2. Re: In shock

    Posted by swissmiss at Tue May 22, 2012 12:03 am

    HI Sharon
    I suppose I had a similar experience when my father was diagnosed with terminal cancer. My husband was never diagnosed with bipolar but it has been suggested that since he took his own life he almost certainly suffered with a form of it..he used to drop out suddenly...he had seriously attempted 3 years before hand by jumping from a bridge which resulted in him being paraplegic which only added to his difficulties.There is no easy way of saying this but you are of course right to be worried because the emotional stress and then the possible loss of his Mum will be catastrophic for him.
    Since losing my husband and before that my Dad I have been blessed to discover spiritualism..they both came through to me ...didnt believe in it before passing...would have actively discouraged me from going...but both were there with me immediately after passing and still are. I know that first of all death is not the end. Spiritualists do not refer to it as death because the spirit survives. What my husband has discovered is that his pain hasnt ended because he has to watch and feel our pain. What I wish is that I could have let him know that before he took his own life. I also wish I could have taken him to a spiritual centre where they give spiritual healing.
    That is what I can recommend...the healing now...the comfort of knowing that even if the worst happens and we lose our loved ones we will not lose them forever and that it is actually possible to have a relationship with them in spirit which is comforting and sometimes even fun.
    I have been feeling engulfed with grief and anxiety the last few days so decided tonight to go to a local spiritual evening. We had such a laugh. The medium asked if anyone had felt spiritual contact in the shower this last few days...I had felt my husband with me!!! One thing led to another and we laughed all evening...just what I needed. It doesnt have to be about tears all the time.
    I do hope that your MIL makes a really good recovery. Again spiritual healing does make a brilliant complementary treatment to the conventional medical stuff. It helps your soul cope and clears the negative energy to replace it with positive healing energy.
    They dont stop caring for you when they have passed and they send strength and wisdom and confort to you without you asking or having to know...but you can tune in and talk to them and share problems and successes and fun.
    Take care
    Karen xx

  3. Re: In shock

    Posted by CrystalBlueWolf at Tue May 22, 2012 4:10 am

    Not really sure what to say hun, but just wanted to let you know that someone is thinking of you guys :( *big hugs* keep safe xx

  4. Re: In shock

    Posted by jaye2080 at Tue May 22, 2012 8:16 pm

    Hi Sharon,
    Well if anybody knows about those 'kicks when you're down' it's me, So i do know exactly what you're feeling like hun.
    In my case this latest round of knocks started with our 7 year old being killed in a car crash, followed by husband developing epilepsy at age 60, having serious post ictal phases where he tried to climb out the bedroom window amongst other bad things, and also getting psychotic through epilepsy. Just to make sure i knew what heartache felt like life dealt out the cruellest blow and my 6yr old grand daughter developed cancer, she got it again when she was 8 (she's 13 now). there were too many other things to go into right now, but i just kept on getting those kicks one on top of the other.

    One very good source of advice for both you and you're MIL are the macmillan nurses, they understand how cancer affects the whole family so they will be there to offer support for the whole family, it might be worth giving them a ring.

    You need to know that you are not superwoman, you can't take all the ills of the world on your shoulders, you need some support, and you need some time for you just to be yourself. You are entitled to a carers assesment, though whether this does any good i'm not sure, I usually just do things my own way and if other people don't like the way i do things well..tuff!!
    The one big thing that i learnt through these knocks of life is that you quickly get your priorities right, you soon find out what is important and whats not, so the best thing is to make sure all the important stuff is sorted, and if the clutter of life doesn't get sorted, well it stays unsorted!

    Keep posting Sharon, it's good to talk and there will always be somebody around to listen.
    All the best
    jaye

  5. Re: In shock

    Posted by suejane at Tue May 22, 2012 8:38 pm

    Im here too Sharon hugs xxx :)
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