1. Cian threatening to quit college

    Posted by suejane at Wed May 09, 2012 8:00 am

    Cian is now threatening to quit colleg, his only chance and scource of friends etc. Life seems to be on a downward spiral and i cant stop it happening and i dont know what to do. He is due for urgent counselling and i wll chase this up today. Its breaking my heart again. Hubbies birthday so i will make sure he has anice meal out. Cian is in bed again his footie team lost and he always behaves like this when they lose.His mood has been low for days dspite medication.Sorry im just not sure what to do xxx :(

  2. Re: Cian threatening to quit college

    Posted by swissmiss at Wed May 09, 2012 1:13 pm

    Jane
    I know I am probably going beyond the boundaries and obviously I dont know you or Cian personally but I do know that feeling not in control leads to depression. That is why I was trying to say perhaps Cian needs to sort out some of his own problems with your support. I know that Angus gets really down if problems arent resolved and if he can do them himself he not only has the burden of the hovering issue lifted but he feels empowered. We have been to Aspie support group meetings where many hide behind the Aspergers saying "I'm an Aspie, that's the way i am and so I can't do that!"...whereas some of them dont advertise the fact and try and get on with life accepting that sometimes it doesnt go to plan. However the evidence is that where they talk to someone and try and overcome the problem it is often successful and they can move ahead in their life. The overwhelming consensus is that those who succeed dont do so by avoiding issues or flying the Aspie flag all the time. Angus doesnt want to be cared for all his life...does Cian????
    That's all. I only am saying this to try and help you and Cian as it seems you are both unhappy.
    Take care
    Karen xx

  3. Re: Cian threatening to quit college

    Posted by suejane at Wed May 09, 2012 1:53 pm

    Hi Karen. No you are doing us a favour. Cian does try to resolve things himself but because he was living away from me for 7 years and i only saw him once a fornight and some holidays he is gradually coming to terms with his past, so i think sometimes he feels overwhelmed by life. Certainly his girlfriend and her mum are quite pushy so i do have to ask them to slow down in fact Cian does this himself.We are tredding slowly. College advised me not to push him into going there but to take his time he wont lose his place there.If one day he feels theres a good reason why he cant go there then try to tell us and we will listen.I have my little break, just a weekend and days out sorted now, so this will help too.Thankyou for all your supportand im interested to hear how you manage things, much wiser than me i think!Today Cian has now gone to college and we will keep going with our lifeline here helping so much. I am here for you i am learning all the time myself.xxxx

  4. Re: Cian threatening to quit college

    Posted by suejane at Wed May 09, 2012 5:15 pm

    ps i have discovered that the taxi driver told his bosses that i invited him into the house, no doubt this was wrong if i did Cian was having a really difficult morning and hubbie stays in bed until he has gone.They must have thought i meant in a bad way. I am waiting to find out what really hapened but iv no doubt i will get the blame for the breakdown of the taxi rlationship. Watch this space ....

  5. Re: Cian threatening to quit college

    Posted by swissmiss at Wed May 09, 2012 5:50 pm

    Hi Jane
    The past is dragging me down but I need to look forward. Angus is being better at this than I am. I think it is what you have to do. You cant change the past but you can choose your future!? To some extent anyway? I am glad you are going to take a break yourself and that Cian has a girlfriend to help him move forward. It has to be because we cant be there forever for them anyway!
    Take care
    Love
    Karen xx :):)

  6. Re: Cian threatening to quit college

    Posted by suejane at Thu May 10, 2012 2:01 pm

    Hi Karen how are you today. Not too wet in the rain i hope. The only problem with cians girfriend is that her single mum doesnt drive so on top of the rediculous miles we are now doing evreyday we also have another 12 miles on a sunday to thier house!They might have to start using the bus .... xx :)

  7. Re: Cian threatening to quit college

    Posted by swissmiss at Fri May 11, 2012 12:43 am

    Hi Jane
    Have been staying up too late and today Ali and I slept in till lunchtime. Sorted out a few problems including speaking to the director of Foundation studies at the college about Angus' no show tutor. They are as concerned as we are so hopefully it is a blip. When I was young Mum didnt drive so we went everywhere on the bus.We lived in a remote village for 5 years and had to walk 2 miles to the bus stop...we managed. We take cars for granted these days!!!
    Shame you cant resolve the taxi business?
    Take care
    Karen xx :)

  8. Re: Cian threatening to quit college

    Posted by suejane at Fri May 11, 2012 1:58 pm

    Hi Karen
    It is resolv
    ed. I take him and bring him home 50 miles a day plus. He also expects us to drive him around to all evening and weekend activities which is too much for us so he will have to choose what activities are most important to him .How are you today? Cian has a very pretty but pushy girlfirend and her mum and we are trying not to get trapped into driving them about too, they cant drive and live 7 miles away.Life will become rediculous.
    Hugs and enjoy a whole 3 days of sunshine!!
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