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  1. Made first contact with local SS.....here we go again!!!!

    Posted by swissmiss at Wed Jun 29, 2011 1:11 am

    I realise I am in desperate need of help as Ali [severely Autistic and virtually mute] is getting very uptight at the moment which means he is stimming and hitting himself and the doorframe unless I am with him and struggling to calm him and on top of my grief I am shaking, dizzy, sick and having tension headaches and shooting pains which are frightening me. I was waiting to see if we were staying here and to let us get over some of the trauma of losing Neil but I couldnt go on so after ringing SS I took myself to the docs...unbelievably easy to get an appointment and a double one at that for me and Ali, so friendly and helpful I cannot believe it. He checked me over and unbelievably ...again....I apparently have the blood pressure of a teenager!!! This stress, tension and massive emotional torment of losing Neil must be good for you even if I feel like I am dying sometimes [you should see me and you would laugh!!!] and he gave me a form for some therapy which I can have at the health centre.
    SS...well...it was a challenge! Ali is 19 , but you have to be 18 or under they said to access "transitional team" so I stayed really calm and said that unfortunately I couldnt rewind him! She went away, and several minutes later came back sounding as though she had solved the riddle of the phoenix!!! She had found an extension number to put me through to the duty social worker!!!! What help would I like she said? So I said day care and respite! She is getting a SW to ring me to arrange an assessment for Ali and a carers assessment...would you like one she asked so I said if it isnt a problem, yes, as thats the only way my needs would be met isnt it??? Seems easy so far, for SS that is, but it wont be I know...still. Do I have documentation she said to prove that Ali has SLD?!!! What planet are they on? Even if I didnt, which I have, except it is 12 years old so no doubt that will need reassessing, any idot can see he does!!! I stayed calm, focussed on what I need and told them that after all that has happened Ali is very wary of SS and that what is essential is a good experience!
    I am going to take the approach that I know what I need to carry on caring for him and staying alive and that they can fill out as many forms as they like to justify it but unless I get it they can find residential care for him. I am just starting to glimpse the person I am under the burden of caring for the first time in years and I am determined to find space for me to be me as much as for Ali to be Ali and space for Angus [his older Aspie brother] to be himself without having to help care for Ali and after the 3 years of caring for Neil [mental health problems, suicide attempt, paraplegia and finally taking his own life]...we deserve it and NEED it. I love Ali and want him to live with me but unless they divi up soon I will be in a box as well.

  2. Re: Made first contact with local SS.....here we go again!!!!

    Posted by suejane at Thu Jun 30, 2011 8:23 am

    Hi there swissmiss. Just go for everything you need. How you are still standing up i dont know. You are such astrong person.Go for everything you need to survive. You love your children so much as you loved Neil and did your best but you must survive for yourself. Go for everything. You will survive and i am with you as we all are xxxxHugs xxx

  3. Re: Made first contact with local SS.....here we go again!!!!

    Posted by carolm_12582 at Thu Jun 30, 2011 8:50 am

    Keep fighting and never give up - this sounds totally overwhelming to me - thinking of you! Big hugs Carol

  4. Re: Made first contact with local SS.....here we go again!!!!

    Posted by littlelamb at Thu Jun 30, 2011 8:34 pm

    Thinking of you and hope everything works out for you.

  5. Re: Made first contact with local SS.....here we go again!!!!

    Posted by mama pud at Fri Jul 01, 2011 7:54 am

    Hi Karen,

    I really do hope that you and your sons get everything you need, and that you are able to get some 'me' time for yourself xxxxxx

  6. Re: Made first contact with local SS.....here we go again!!!!

    Posted by meg mackenzie at Sun Jul 03, 2011 11:22 am

    I don`t envy you the task ahead, but know you will fight for your entitlements. Make sure the SS have an emergency care plan in place in case you take ill or have an accident. It is a bit like insurance for a car if you have it nothing happens, if you don`t it does. That would at least give you a little peace of mind.

    Thinking about you,and hope all works out well.

    Take care
    Meg

  7. Re: Made first contact with local SS.....here we go again!!!!

    Posted by swissmiss at Mon Jul 04, 2011 11:04 am

    I realised the need for an emergency plan when I continued to feel really unwell on Saturday...I felt dizzy, faint, numb down right side and had stabbing pains in temples and chest and stiff neck, so as GP had put it down to grieving earlier in week I decided to go to A&E and get it checked. Had ECG, blood pressure tests, blood tests etc and nothing showed. At least I know I am not having a stroke but if I was unwell or, God forbid, died...where does that leave my boys now? Up a gumtree! Still waiting for an appt for an assessment from SS.....and thats the easy bit as we all know. x

  8. Re: Made first contact with local SS.....here we go again!!!!

    Posted by swissmiss at Mon Jul 04, 2011 11:08 am

    I just rang SS to let them know I was unwell and to try and put some pressure on to get on with it as it is worrying me now! Ringing me back?!

  9. Re: Made first contact with local SS.....here we go again!!!!

    Posted by kerry. at Mon Jul 04, 2011 12:00 pm

    Did they say what time they'd ring you back Karen? If so and they don't ring them 10 mins later.
    If they've not rung by say 3pm ring them again and keep rining until you speak to someone and get their name too of course!

  10. Re: Made first contact with local SS.....here we go again!!!!

    Posted by swissmiss at Mon Jul 04, 2011 11:46 pm

    Did they ring? No. I had to leave the phone a bit clear as were trying to exchange contracts on our house in Lincs...which after I pinned the solicitor down and gave him step by step instructions for he managed to achieve!
    Maybe they are busy reading the doorstop of useless paperwork they will have requested from Lincs ...will be full of lies and crap!
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