Getting tired of nothingness

Well if anyone had/has bothered to read my posts and blog entrys you'll see that things have been up and down as always. Today is going to one of those days i think. Had a very serious talk with hubby last night about some general stuff and it's left me feeling very lost and lonely. I realised that although i do have 'friends' they aren't friends at the same time. If that makes sense. I have people who i've known for years and sometimes talk to but it seems like they are getting on with their lives and i'm just stuck.

I'm also getting very broody which isn't good, and so is hubby. It doesn't help that his friend has just had a baby (well i say just he's about 6 months old now) but they keep bringing him round to ours and it makes me so sad. Because i would do anything for a child and it's just not happening.

I've also decided that i'm going to try and stay on this site until December then i'm going to leave, i tend to use this place more to moan and gripe than anything else, but it just makes me feel lonely. I see my post and no ones looked at it or if they have no one has said anything, and then every other post around it is at least 2-6 comments. It always makes me feel like my problems or what i have to say isn't good enough. I also don't get to use it as much as i'd like because i'm either not around or just don't come on it. But we'll see.

I've also got to get on the phone later and try and sort out a stupid HM rev problem from 2009 because my useless old uni never sent me a p45 when i finished working there so my tax is all messed up. And the HM rev keep badering me and it's just generally getting to me now.

Meh i dunno i'm just in a really bad mood right now, which probably isn't the best time to write a blog entry. I might write a better one later or something once i've calmed down

Comments

I feel very much the same as

I feel very much the same as you. There is nothing to look forward to at times but I stay strong because my daughter tells me I am her rock. It is not really enough but you must keep blogging because someone once said: If you keep knocking on a door one day one will open. Stay strong. We all understand how you feel.

unfortunately, I know exactly

unfortunately, I know exactly how you feel. Talking shops aren't always that helpful are they. I need practical help by people that are in our lives, I need our GP to step up and co-ordinate my hubby's care. I need to win the lottery so that I can afford a solicitor to sue a few NHS bods that have failed to carry out their duties. etc etc...

Hi, I read, and empathised ..

Hi, I read, and empathised .. hugs. I'm sorry life feels so stuck. It is hard when friends are whizzing on through their normal lives but one is stuck in some kind of carer backwater unable to move on with things! I am nearing 50, looking after a 30 year old son with learning difficulties and autism who lives at home with me and my husband, never had other children, never will have grandchildren as even if he found a partner the SS would take any children away. I also looked after an adult foster daughter with severe mental health problems who is now in care in the community and now my mum is terminally ill and I will have to look after her as well. My whole life since age 19 has been caring, no career, no opportunities, missing out on new friends, and since age 30 chronic disabling illness myself to cope with as well. I would quite like to retire from being a carer but it will never happen!!!

I am 59 and full time care

I am 59 and full time care giver to my husband of 32 years who had a huge stroke two years ago. I just decided to search for a blog for carers. I feel exactly the same way you do! Every day is a mammoth challenge, and I often wonder how we made it through the day. Absolutely no one understands this except others in the same situation. Not that these comments help you or me! I have been praying to realize the hidden beauties in this challenge.

Hi Kim Have been caring for

Hi Kim

Have been caring for my husband like you for the last 18 years, first time I have been on blogs feel so like you about no one understanding, please reply if you would like .

iv only just started coming

iv only just started coming in here and coincidence that the first posts i see are yours. im sorry to hear your so lonely and frustrated but im sure like everyone else on here we dont judge wheather your writing bout rants or even happy times your having, this will proberly be my only place to let off steam too. j u know u can call me whenever u want or even if u wanna escape for a few days your more than welcome. whenever im having a hard time with james i thinik maybe i shud ring j but i know ur having a diffficult time too, maybe we shud be rant buddies :) x

Yeah rant buddies does seem

Yeah rant buddies does seem like a good idea for us both to let off steam, you know you wrote that comment on the 12th of May and it's only just clicked as to who you are (i'm such a berk) lol

I feel a bit like that too -

I feel a bit like that too - throwing stuff out there and wondering if anyone reads it! I often read your blogs but don't comment....oops....that's the only way you know I've read it, isn't it?! I'm sorry that I've helped you feel lonely by not saying anything - and I should know better because a lot of my frustration with my situation is that Andy and I don't really have conversation any more because he doesn't respond like he used to.
I don't really know what to say - yes, it is up and down - some small encouragement often followed by a bigger disappointment. No end in sight and wondering how you're going to carry on. I think I don't comment sometimes because I feel like I should be saying something positive and encouraging, but at the time I don't have much encouraging left in me!

Hi Carolm, yeah i thought

Hi Carolm, yeah i thought about it recently and i realised myself that sometimes you just don't know what to say when you read a blog post/entry. I know it's probably just me being silly as well but i think we all feel like this at times, i just needed a vent lol. So don't worry if you don't comment on my stuff :) we're all as bad as each other on here i think :) hope you're well x

I have been caring for my

I have been caring for my wife Cynthia for 20 years this December. Her illness's are many and varied but the worst of them all is the depression that has gripped her life in the last 2 years. She now takes Lithium and seems calmer for the first time in a long while however she is not the person I married 28 years ago sleeping for hours in the daytime and waking early in the mornings. In some sort of calmness that has never been my wifes way. My health has deteriated somewhat over a period of years I have little energy for the simplest of chores even washing the pots is beyond me some days. I have no money left after the household bills and fuel costs have been paid and maintainance of our flat is totally beyond our budget. The social will not or cannot give us a budgeting loan even if I could afford to have one the repayment costs are far too prohibitive. So I see little prospect of a comfortable life in my later years

Hi, I understand how you are

Hi, I understand how you are feeling. Perhaps you may like to consider receiving some support from Just-ICE (Independent Carer's Enterprise)based at Action Station South Shields, launched last year to support mental health carers in South Tyneside for carers like youself... there is support out here. A simple phone call could change your life around.Office: 0191 4558122 Mobile 07510156098

It's the most lonely place in

It's the most lonely place in the world after 20 years caring for my wife I still see no respite on the horizon. My life is one long drag. You just gotta knuckle down and grin and bear it. Not much of a life I know but it's all we got

Poor you. I know what you

Poor you. I know what you mean about friends.I eventualy gave up on old friends but went on a friendship site and never looked back. We used to meet up and my daughter was totally accepted. Strange how strangers can accept what so called frinds cannot.

And if you want to have a moan on here you go right ahead, if nothing else it gets it off your chest.

You know when you are down there is only one place to go and thats back up. Not sure if I believe that but it sounds good anyway.

Thanks :) that meant a lot to

Thanks :) that meant a lot to me

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