Carers blog
The Strong Vulnerable
15th May 2012 Vulnerability...its a double edged sword for me. I'm so strongly attracted to it when I see it in others. It's magnetic pull draws me in like a moth to the flame but the moment I see that vulnerability mirrored in myself I burn. It's hard separating the two. As always I seem to have one set of rules for myself and an opposing one for others. When faced with someone who is vulnerable I am humbled. I don't see them as being weak, rather I see their strength in allowing others to see that side of them.
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Getting tired of nothingness
02nd May 2012 Well if anyone had/has bothered to read my posts and blog entrys you'll see that things have been up and down as always. Today is going to one of those days i think. Had a very serious talk with hubby last night about some general stuff and it's left me feeling very lost and lonely. I realised that although i do have 'friends' they aren't friends at the same time. If that makes sense. I have people who i've known for years and sometimes talk to but it seems like they are getting on with their lives and i'm just stuck.
What support?
19th April 2012 I thought things were getting sorted out earlier this year, but it looks as if the support system has once more failed me. My aunt was admitted to a mental health unit at the start of the year following 5 years of hallucinations and delusional paranoia. I finally managed to get the psychiatric nurses convinced that she was having problems when she started calling the police several times a day to report men on her roof. I live close by, but will not have her living with me as I can barely cope with the 2 boys.
Andy has a cough......
16th April 2012 …the cough from hell…..It’s now the beginning of April and there’s probably been a two or three week period between now and Christmas where he hasn’t been coughing his guts up time after time day and night.
Everything happens at once ........
10th April 2012 It feels like it's been the longest month I've had in years, and yet it also has gone so fast with everything that's happened. Firstly we had all the fun and games with Dom's EDS problems. This had ended in him needing bone density scans for osteoporosis etc. Supposed to be a 2 week wait only for the appt and still nothing after nearly 3 weeks ......
Trust and what it means to me
05th April 2012 Though i would start off with a descrioption from the dictionary: Trust Noun1. Reliance on the integrity, strength, ability, surety, etc., of a person or thing; confidence.2. Confident expectation of something; hope.3. Confidence in the certainty of future payment for property or goods received; credit: to sell merchandise on trust.4. A person on whom or thing on which one relies: God is my trust.5. The condition of one to whom something has been entrusted. Adjective12. Law . of or pertaining to trusts or a trust.
Carer's Trust
01st April 2012 Caring for Ronnie has so many different factors involved that at times I find it hard to pinpoint what I'm feeling at any one time. There are moments which can be so hard that I just want crawl under my covers and never come out but I know I can't. I'll only allow that fantasy to last a moment because to indulge anymore would be pointless, ridiculous and partly dangerous. If I allow my self to slump, even for a moment I fear I will stay there.
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I have been a little down over the death of the NHS.
23rd March 2012 Thousands of people fought against the bill and to hear such bad news yesterday really hit me, It is not just about me. It is about the many disabled and the many carers it will affect. Who will now have time for Carers? It certainly won't be your GP. He will be too busy being an accountant instead of a doctor. Already we have so little help, so little advice yet everyone thinks there is help out there. If there is in 24 years of caring I have not seen it.
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My daughter is on low mobility yet I have driven her round for her whole life.
21st March 2012 My daughter was once on middle rate but it was removed after she was taught to travel to one town and she was put on low mobility. She was also taught once to go to the cinema. There was no reason to keep going to that one town as she hates it. She had no friends to meet and doesn't understand money fully. She needs me to buy her clothes and I never shop for clothes or shoes in that town. She has no interest in clothes and will probably spent the rest of her life if no one goes with her if anything happens to me. She can walk and she can talk.
CBT assessment
15th March 2012 Cass had the assessment today and it went so well. He diagnosed her with agorophobia and a panic disorder. He thinks 15 sessions and he can have her to the point where she is able to manage going out alone again and cope with life more. Just feel so happy for her. The only thing I really need to discuss with him is that autonomic dysfunction (POTS etc which comes hand in hand with EDS) can cause panic disorder, so will take some info with us when we go next Tuesday for the second part of the assessment.
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