Aewyn's story

Aewyn, 16, cares for her mother, who suffers from chronic depression and agoraphobia and her brother who has attention deficit disorder. 

Aewyn has thought hard about why she enjoys being a carer. "I know I am making a difference, and I like the feeling of responsibility," she says. Yet her responsibilities would be daunting for a fully trained adult, let alone a girl at an age when most care only for clothes, make-up and boys.

Her mother, Kate, suffers from chronic depression and agoraphobia, while her 13-year-old brother, Gary, has attention deficit disorder and development problems. Aewyn says; "I help my mum cope with Gary and try to give her a happy time."

She gets her mum and brother up and gives them their breakfast and medication. Sometimes Gary, who hates school, reacts aggressively and Aewyn has to pull the quilt off him or even spray him with water. On other occasions her mother also feels too low to get out of bed.

Aewyn gets Gary ready and takes him to and from school on the bus as he is afraid of crowds and is often bullied. Back home she keeps him amused, helps Kate make the tea, do the housework and order groceries over the internet.

Kate says: "Gary can be happy one minute and screaming and throwing himself around the next. He is very demanding and difficult.

"When Aewyn sees that it is draining me she steps in, forgets what she is doing and takes him upstairs to do what he wants. She motivates me. She is my shining light, giving me hope. I wish I was more like her."

Aewyn started being a surrogate mum to Gary at the age of six, anticipating the nervous breakdown which overwhelmed her mum a year later after her dad walked out. She confesses: "It is hard sometimes because my brother is always fighting and arguing. If I feel resentful, I ignore it or read a book until it goes away."

None of her school friends know what her life is like at home. "I don’t tell them because they make fun of people who have things like my mum and my brother do. I want to be one of them when I am with them, so I keep this part of my life totally separate."

Her ambition is to gain a degree in music and later study architecture. She believes her experience as a carer has made her "more understanding, tolerant and caring".

Original article written by Gill Swain, Daily Express, June 2007